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Brake Jokes

124 brake jokes and hilarious brake puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brake that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the funniest brake jokes from related topics, including jake brakes, air brakes, brake fluid, brake lights, brake jobs, brake repairs, deployments, axles, and cars. Laugh along to some of the best brake related memes and puns you can find!

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Popular Brake Short Jokes

Short brake jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brake humour may include short tire jokes also.

  1. It really probably isn't safe for me to be driving my car right now, But hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
  2. My wife is concerned at the amount of brake fluid I drink and thinks I may have a problem... I told her "It's ok, I can stop whenever I want! "
  3. Every time I put my key in the ignition, a light comes on that says, "depress clutch to start." So I lean down and tell the clutch, "Everybody likes brake and accelerater better than you."
  4. A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid... ...just can't stop.
  5. So I have this friend who's addicted to drinking brake fluid... but he tells me not to worry, he can stop anytime he wants.
  6. My girflriend was telling me about this guy on Strange Addictions who drinks a gallon of brake fluid every day I guess the good thing is at least he can stop whenever he wants
  7. My girlfriend hates it when I tap the brakes to make the car bounce when I listen to hiphop. But when I think about it, she never did like brakedancing.
  8. I just drank another bottle of brake fluid. My friends think I'm addicted, but I can stop when I want to.
  9. I told my mate he should cut down on drinking brake fluid He said: 'I can stop anytime I like'
  10. I think my friend is addicted to drinking brake fluid He says he can stop anytime he wants

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Brake One Liners

Which brake one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brake? I can suggest the ones about pedal and break.

  1. I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid... I can stop whenever I want
  2. My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want.
  3. I have an addiction to brake fluid. The good news is I can stop anytime I want.
  4. I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid.... I can stop any time I want.
  5. I know a guy addicted to brake fluid He says he can stop at any time
  6. I'm addicted to brake fluid But it's not so bad, i can stop anytime!
  7. How do you top a car? Tep on the brake tupid.
  8. Once you start buying cheap brakes..... You won't be able to stop
  9. I'm going through a lot right now. Mostly because my car brakes stopped working.
  10. my friend is addicted to brake oil he says he can stop any time he wants to.
  11. "Jimmy, I think you have a brake fluid problem." "No I don't! I can stop anytime I want!"
  12. Why did the Muslim run over the pedestrians during Ramadan? He couldn't brake fast
  13. I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid. I just can't seem to stop.
  14. Local man reportedly addicted to brake fluid, Says he can stop whenever he wants.
  15. I'm addicted to brake fluid It's ok I can stop anytime I want

Brake Fluid Jokes

Here is a list of funny brake fluid jokes and even better brake fluid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My friend is addicted to drinking brake fluids... but he tells me that he can stop any time.
  • Did you hear about the mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid? He said he could stop at anytime.
  • I have a friend who is addicted to drinking brake fluid.... He insists that he can stop at any time
  • I have a drinking problem. I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid.
    But don't worry, I can stop at any time.
  • My doctor told me to stop drinking brake fluid because I was too addicted I told him I could stop at any time.
  • A mate of mine just told me that he has been drinking brake fluid! I told him how dangerous that is and how it could kill him if he keeps it up, but he said he can stop anytime he likes.
  • A friend of mine drinks a bottle of brake fluid a day. He says he's not addicted and can stop any time.
  • Help! My brother has developed an addiction to drinking brake fluid. Our family is worried but he says it's okay because he can stop whenever he wants.
  • A local man is addicted to brake fluid... Says he can stop at any time....
  • My wife accused me of being addicted to drinking brake fluid. I said I can stop any time I want.

Brake Light Jokes

Here is a list of funny brake light jokes and even better brake light puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
    Credit to Steven Wright.
  • Limp bizkit rear ended someone at a stop light Onlookers said it looked like he was going to brake, but he just kept rollin rollin rollin rollin.
  • A guys hits the brakes hard on a Maybach at the stop light. Behind him a Geo tries to stop but he can't make it and hits him in the back. On the Maybach's computer: New hardware detected. Install?
  • I walked into a car dealership today They told me it would be $30 to replace a brake light bulb
Brake joke, I walked into a car dealership today

Air Brake Jokes

Here is a list of funny air brake jokes and even better air brake puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A blonde joke Truckers should get Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill her trucker husband? She cut the lines to his truck's air brakes
  • How do birds stop? Air brakes.
Brake joke, How do birds stop?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about brake can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of brake puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Laughable Brake Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about brake you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean braces jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make brake prank.

*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?

Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack.
I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the w**..., fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive.
It's just too much drama, even for Christmas.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

Silly Drunks.

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.
"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice on the line.
"Nevermind," he said with a hiccup. "I got in the back seat by mistake."

Oh man, I've got this mate thats addicted to drinking brake fluid.

He thinks he can stop at anytime.

An Amish Woman

Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's b**...… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither

A police officer pulled over an Amish couple in a buggy

"Sir, I'm going to need you to remove the strap from around that horse's t**.... That's just inhumane."
"WHAT'S HE SAYIN'?", the old man asked his wife.
"I think there might be something wrong with the emergency brake."

Did you hear about the guy who is addicted to drinking brake fluid?

It's okay though, he said he can stop whenever he wants.

My brakes failed the other day

And I got a c**... course on Newton's first law

I work at a dealership, this guy there is addicted to brake fluid

but he says he can stop at anytime!

Did you hear about all the students who are using brake fluid to get high?

The teachers aren't too worried about it. The students can stop anytime.

It's not a problem

I know this guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
But it's OK he can stop whenever he wants.

Did you hear about the guy who drunk brake fluid everyday?

He's ok he can stop whenever he wants.

A plane just landed...

Little Kid: "Were almost home now they just have to park the plane."
His Dad: "Better hope they dont forget to put the parking brake on so we dont go back up."
I heard this on my plane ride and the Dad's family looked like they wanted to spit on him for his magnificent Dad joke.

Have you heard the joke about the guy addicted to brake fluid?

He says he can stop anytime.

I'm afraid that my best friend is developing an addiction to brake fluid.

I've called him out on it, but he says he can stop anytime.

They should call the "Emergency Brake" the "All-h**... Brake"

Because if it fails on a step hill, then "All-h**... brake's loose."

Why did the brake pedal see a therapist?

Because it was depressed.

I saw a man drinking brake fluid.

But then he stopped.

I know someone who's addicted to brake fluid. They say they can stop any time.

What's the difference between a squirrel and a politician lying dead in a ditch?

There are brake marks before the squirrel.

I just met a guy addicted to brake fluid.

However, he was adamant that he could stop anytime.

I know this guy that's hooked on brake fluid

He said he could stop anytime.

Did you hear about the brake pedal who had to leave his job?

He had to stop when he got depressed

I literally drove through the Drive-thru at Burger King.

But I'm a new driver. Why don't you give me a brake?

I have a lot in common with my brake rotors..

We're both warped and barely functioning.

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO ME

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!
" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in.
"Disregard," he says. She got in the back-seat by mistake."

I was riding in my friend's car today when I noticed he didn't have a brake pedal.

He said it only slowed him down.

My mechanic thinks i'm in denial over my brake fluid leak.

But he's wrong; I can stop any time i want.

Doctor, doctor, I'm addicted to brake fluid!

Nonsense, you can stop anytime you want

I know a guy addicted to drinking brake fluid...

I'm worried about him, but he insists he can stop anytime.

Classic Cajun joke my grandpa told me.

So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux are heading to the bayou to check the trot lines. Boudreaux hooks his truck to his boat trailer and connects the trailer lights.
He says, "Thibodeaux, Check to see if my brake lights are working!"
As Boudreaux presses the brakes, Thibodeaux says, "Yea, they workin!"
Boudreaux turns on the right blinker and says, "Alright how about my blinkers?"
Thibodeaux says, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes!"

I used to be have a h**... addiction to brake fluid...

but now I can stop whenever I want to

So I'm in a bar the other day and the guy next to me was drinking brake fluid, I said "you know that stuffs no good for you?!"

He said, "its fine, I can stop anytime"

Why Did The Queen Wear Black Gloves To Princess Diana's f**...?

The white ones were covered in brake fluid.

How do you stop a food truck?

The Lunch brake

I think my friend is addicted to brake fluid but...

He insists he can stop whenever he wants.

Yesterday was brutal. I forgot to apply the parking brake on my car...

And then it just went downhill from there.

My friend has become addicted to brake fluid ...

He claims he can stop anytime.

Im addicted to brake fluid

I thought I could stop anytime

A guy at my work was so desperate of an alcoholic that he started drinking brake fluid.

He said he could stop at any time though.

Mafia Boss: I want the brake lines of this guy's car to be rusting.

Chemist: I'm listening.
Mafia Boss: But make sure..it looks like an oxidant.

Why are the brake discs of Miley Cyrus' car shaped like a human o**...?

'cause nothing brakes like a heart.

I got addicted to brake fluid...

... but I can stop anytime I want.

A drunk calls the police, and says,

"They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal.."
Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat"

My wife said she's leaving me cause I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid

But I know I can stop any time I want

What does a car thief do when he's tired?

He takes a brake.

I told my therapist about my reoccurring dream where I c**... my car because it's missing the pedal that helps me stop

He said he thinks I need a brake

I've been standing in this place where they keep throwing car parts at me,

but I haven't been able to catch a brake.

I don't know how to help my friend....

I don't know how to help my friend.... he's addicted to drinking brake fluid.


When I confront him he just tells me he "can stop any time he wants."

A circus performer is stopped by the police for having a faulty brake light

As he approaches the car, the policeman spots a set of knives on the back seat.
He asks the man why he has them and doesn't he know it's against the law to carry knives?
The man explains that the knives are used in his act. He juggles them.
The policeman insists the man gets out to show him so he stands at the roadside performing his act.
Just then, another car drives by. The driver of the car turns to his wife and says, Thank goodness I gave up drinking, just look how the police do sobriety tests these days.

I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid...

But I can stop when I want.

What happens when you press on the gas and the brake pedals at the same time?

Your car takes a screenshot

Brake joke, What happens when you press on the gas and the brake pedals at the same time?

jokes about brake

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these brake jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.