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Brain Jokes

143 brain jokes and hilarious brain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the no-so-serious side of neuroscience, with a collection of jokes and puns based around brain implants, Cerebro, and neural networks. Enjoy a few laughs while learning more about the brain!

Best Short Brain Jokes

Short brain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brain humour may include short bone jokes also.

  1. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
  2. A doctor says "The good news is it's all in your head." "The bad news is it's brain cancer."
  3. My daughter just got me good… I said, Did you know you can always see your own nose and your brain just ignores it? She said yeah because it nose it's there
  4. Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
    In the right side, there's nothing left.
  5. I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
  6. Buzzfeed employee is diagnosed with stage 2 brain cancer Doctor: Number 4 will blow your mind.
  7. What's the difference between an anti-vaxxer and a hot dog? The hot dog might actually have some brains in it.
  8. Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.
  9. I joined a religion where flatbread tells us about god. Its a naan prophet organization.
    I have no idea why this was the first thing my brain did when I woke up this morning.
  10. So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain

Quick Jump To


Brain joke, So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain"


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about brain can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of brain puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Brain One Liners

Which brain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brain? I can suggest the ones about biology and mental.

  1. At first, my girlfriend didn't want to get a brain transplant then I changed her mind
  2. What do you call a politician with half a brain? Gifted.
  3. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant (with twins)
  4. I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant... But then I changed my mind.
  5. I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind
  6. What do you call a man who's lost 75% of his brain capacity? Divorced.
  7. (For big brains only) What do you call a car when it turns into a driveway? A driveway.
  8. [Blonde] What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.
  9. Brain transplants will never be possible. Change my mind.
  10. I thought about getting a brain transplant But then i changed my mind
  11. Hey girl are u a brain tumor? Cuz i cant get u outta my head and its killing me
  12. what do you call a blonde with brains a golden retriever
  13. How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.
  14. I tried to tell the doctor that I didn't want a brain transplant. But he changed my mind.
  15. I once had a brain eating amoeba the poor fella died of starvation

Zombie Brain Jokes

Here is a list of funny zombie brain jokes and even better zombie brain puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do single male zombies look for in a woman? Brains.
  • What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington? He starved to death.
  • What does a zombie call a brain freeze? A frozen dinner
  • How did the punk zombie get sick? He had some Bad Brains
  • I survived a zombie apocalypse by wearing a maga hat The zombies thought I had no brain to eat
  • Why did the zombie herd ignore the feminist? Because they were hungry for brains
  • Why did the zombie not eat your brain? Because he doesn't eat junk food.
  • What do you call a man who loves a woman for her brains? A zombie.
  • I wanted to be with someone who would like me for my brains. So I started dating a zombie.
  • When the zombies come for our brains... ...the blondes are gonna have to repopulate the world.

Brain Cell Jokes

Here is a list of funny brain cell jokes and even better brain cell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Brain cells die, skin cells die, even hair cells die. But FAT CELLS… must have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior because they seem to have eternal life.
  • What do you call a blonde woman with 2 brain cells? ...pregnant!
  • What do you call a blonde with one brain cell? Gifted.
    What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
    Pregnant.
  • Brain cells die, skin cells die, hair cells die But fat cells must have accepted jesus as their lord savior because of their eternal life
  • What does a single brain cell need? A cellmate
  • How do blondes' brain cells die? Alone
  • What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor
    (My nephew is watching Spongebob please send help my brain cells are leaving one by one)
  • To be stung by a mosquito is not very pleasant. But the thought that an insect with just 10 brain cells could mess up your entire night is something quite different.
  • What makes a kids' show good? The kids only having a few brain cells.
  • I have two brain cells. One for each side of a pentagon.

Brain Cells Jokes

Here is a list of funny brain cells jokes and even better brain cells puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A flat-earther walks into a bar. A flat-earther walks into a bar and orders a drink.
    The bartender say "Sorry we can't serve you alcohol. You can't afford to lose any more brain cells".
  • What do you call a Hufflepuff with a brain cell? Gifted.
    What do you call a Hufflepuff with two brain cells?
    Pregnant.
  • What do you call a grandma that know martial arts? A grandmartial artist.
    I apologise for any lost brain cells.
  • You will never have more energy or enthusiasm, hair, or brain cells than you have today.
  • Most reditors only have one brain cell. That one cell is shared between all of them.
  • What do you call a conservative losing most of their brain cells? A hypocrite getting an abortion.
  • You've got two brain cells: one is in a wheelchair and the other one is pushing.
  • What do you call 10000 heads and 1 brain cell? A gay pride parade
  • What do you call it when there are thousands of heads and only one brain cell? A gay pride parade
  • Brain cells fry at how many degrees? Just 1: your college degree.

Brain Surgeon Jokes

Here is a list of funny brain surgeon jokes and even better brain surgeon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about the brain surgeon who was thinking of performing a brain transplant on himself? He ended up having a change of mind.
  • A surgeon told me I was in grave need of a brain transplant. I refused, telling her she wouldn't change my mind.
  • I went in to get a brain transplant.. ..thankfully the surgeon managed to change my mind.
  • How does a dentist become a brain surgeon? His drill slips
  • Why do brain surgeons begin operations early? So they can work ahead
  • What do you call a group of brain surgeons? A neural network.
  • Where do Brain Surgeon Students go to study? The Hippocampus
  • What did a brain surgeon order at a restaurant? A seizure salad
  • A career change can happen quickly in today's society. For example, there once was a dentist who became a brain surgeon within a matter of seconds.
    All it took was for his drill to slip.
  • I had a great conversation with the world's leading brain surgeon.. Best cab ride ever
Brain joke, I had a great conversation with the world's leading brain surgeon..

Fun-Filled Brain Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about brain you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean cells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make brain prank.

An 85 year old man goes to his doctor for his annual checkup...

... Doc says, Mr. Jones, I have bad news and worse news.
"Whats the worse news?"
"You have a relatively large brain tumor that is very aggressive and the treatment options are almost nonexistent, so I'm afraid you have about 6 months to live."
Mr. Jones hangs his head for a couple moments and looks up to ask, "And the bad news?"
"you have Alzheimers."
Mr. Jones frowns and says, "well, at least I don't have cancer."

Anyone there?


Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.
She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.
"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.
"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.
Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled:
"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?"
Then she heard a voice from far, far away:
"Hello! We're down here..."

Most Fascinating Part of the Body

I used to think the brain was the most fascinating part of the body but then i realized "pssssh, look what's telling me that"

Three Engineers

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."

A man was on a plane...

A man was on a plane when a stewardess approached him and said "Would you like some headphones?" To which the man replied "Yes I would, but how did you know my name was Phones?"
*

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?

My Grandma E-Mailed me this one

When you drink v**... over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink r**... over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems.
When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends.

TIL: Due to the placebo effect, if you tilt your head back, close your eyes, and pretend as if you're shaking a salt-shaker into your mouth, your brain will cause you to actually taste salt

The human brain is amazing

It functions 24 hours a day, everyday since we were born and only stops when taking an exam.

The brain

The brain is a amazing o**... it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman n**....

I used to think the brain was the most important o**....

And then I thought, look what's telling me that.

Table manners

Teacher:"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
Teacher: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
Teacher:'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
Johnny: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.'

Met a woman at the bar the other night

She was absolutely stunning. At least at 11/10. I asked her where she's from and what she does. She said "I live around here, and I'm a brain surgeon."
Now I don't know if it's sexist of me, but I was really impressed.
Most women can't pull off sarcasm.

Why does keeping tropical fish in your home have a calming effect on the brain?

Because of the indoor fins.

A man goes to a doctor...

And the doc says, "I have some bad news and some worse news."
The man says, "OK, give me the worst news first."
The doc says, "You have stage 4 cancer throughout your brain and mouth and you aren't likely to survive more than 4 months."
The man says, "Well that's really bad, what's the other news?"
The doc says, "You have alzheimers too."
The man sits and thinks a bit and finally says, "Well, that's not so bad at least I don't have cancer."

Brainless Lawyers

In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."

As a child I was always taught there is a brain in my skull.

Now I can't get it out of my head.

I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger

Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger

What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

Gifted

Unemployment at its best!

An Israeli doctor says: "In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."
The American doctor laughs: "You all are behind us. Two days ago, we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!"

The Truth About The Beatles

John was the brain
Paul was the heart
George was the spirit
Ringo was the drummer

The brain is the most important o**... in the body...

But look who's telling me that

I always thought the brain was the most important o**......

... then I realized what o**... was telling me that.

So, there are two men.

They know each other for years now. Frank, a brain surgeon from new york and Ahmad a former r**... from syria.
Both men want to build an house and decide to build their houses in the very same street, next to each other. They even ask the architect to just copy the first house!
And when the houses are built Ahmad says to Frank: "My house is worth more than yours."
"How can that be? We both live next to each other!"
"Yes"
"Our houses were built identically, with the same materials."
"True."
"So how can it be, Ahmad?"
"Very simple: I live next to a brain surgeon and you live next to a r**...!"

A zombie walks into a brain store

On the shelves, a pound of C++ programmers' brain sells for $500, of Java programmers, $1000, and of PHP programmers, $1,000,000. The zombie gets confused and asks the store owner why PHP programmers' brain is so much more expensive. The owner says "do you know how many PHP programmers I kill to get one pound of brain?"

Three engineers were discussing who could have been the architect of the human body.

The first said, "It definitely was a Mechanical Engineer, look at all the joints."
The second said, "Nah dude, it was an Electrical Engineer, look at all the electrical connections from the brain."
The third said, "Nope, only a Civil Engineer will run piping carrying sanitation waste right next to a recreational area."

Some bloke started talking to me in the pub last night.

"My mate came off his motorbike today," he said.
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "He has slight brain damage, two broken arms and is completely blind in one eye."
"Blimey," I said. "No wonder he came off it then."

Three engineers are discussing what sort of god designed the human body.

The first says "god must be a mechanical engineer. Look at all these joints!"
The second says "nonsense! God must be an electrical engineer. The brain is made of millions of electrical connections!"
The third says "both of you are wrong! God must be a civic engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study.

He sees a sign indicating the nationality of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for an Americans brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for a Japaneese brain?"
"ten dollars an ounce."
"How much for a Frenchmen's brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is a Frenchmen's brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many French men we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"

A dad joke

"Dad I'm hungry."
"Hi hungry, I'm dead."
"Haha, you mean dad."
"No. I have inoperable brain cancer."
"...wha-"
"I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you."

My brain is divided into left and right

On the left there's nothing right, and on the right there's nothing left

What soft and wrinkly but gets sharper when you use it?

Your brain! (This joke brought to you by one of my 2nd grade students. I told him it was so good I was going to put it on the internet.)

GF: Why are you buying a puzzle when you don't have brain to play it?

BF: Do I complain when you purchase bras?

My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here

He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".

"I have the brain of a german shepherd and the body of a teenage boy.

They're both in my trunk and I want you to see them."

The doctor said to me, Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80's pop music! I gasped, Yikes! What's The Cure?!

He yowled, Oh my God! It's worse than I thought!

They say the brain is the most important part of the body...

But think about who's telling us that.

Your momma's so fat

she gave her memory foam mattress brain damage....

A trip to the doctor...

Doctor: "You'll be thrilled to hear that you don't have cancer in your liver. It was all in your head!"
Me: "Oh great!"
Doctor: "No, brain cancer is way worse."

An alien walks into a human brain shop

Vendor: Welcome, unfortunately we are very limited on brains right now and there are only 2 available.
Alien: I'll take a look.
Vendor: Well, here's the brain of Albert Einstein. He was very intelligent and was the reason behind much of human science. This is priced at $2. Here is the brain of someone who has watched every single "Keeping up with the Kardashians" episodes ever. It's listed at $200.
Alien: Woah, you're trying to rip me off. Why is the brain of someone that dumb worth so much?
Vendor: Simple, because this brain hasn't been used before.

Fred is a hippo who goes to a University where everyone is a hippo

One day, someone asked Fred where to find the medical building. Fred replied, "Its over there and to the left. I do brain research in there."
Fred is an expert on the hippocampus.

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."...

...The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few months ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"

Men's brains

My girlfriend told me that Men's brains are all in their p**.... I told her that I like it when she blows my mind.

What had more brains than h**...?

The wall behind him.

British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced

British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut out a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."
The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."
The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. 4 years ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.
Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"

Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in.

Me: Thanks for reminding me.

Trump has 2 parts of his brain, the right part and the left part

The right part has nothing left
And the left part got nothing right

‌‌I finall‌‌y figure‌‌d ou‌‌t what'‌‌s wron‌‌g wit‌‌h my brain!

O‌‌n th‌‌e lef‌‌t side‌‌, ther‌‌e i‌‌s nothin‌‌g right.
O‌‌n th‌‌e righ‌‌t side‌‌, ther‌‌e i‌‌s nothin‌‌g left.

What do you call a brain eating parasite in The USA?

Malnourished.

I heard they can do brain transplants now! I was all set to do it....

...but my local doctor changed my mind.

Recently my friend passed away, and we saved his brain onto a massive computer

Rest in PC

I told my doctor I didn't want a brain transplant.

But he changed my mind.

People these days recoil at the idea of brain transplants becoming possible in the near future.

Just wait until we develop the technology. They'll change their minds.

Keeping tropical fish at home can have a truly calming effect on the brain.

Due to all the indoor fins.

The brain is the most important o**... in your body

\- *According to the brain*

An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.

The doctor asked him a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I'm at Rex Hospital.
What city are you in?
Raleigh.
Do you know who I am?
Dr. Hamilton.
the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.
guys i have copied this joke and edited formating. its not my original creation.

A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain

He goes to the clerk and says
"Hello, I'd like to purchase a new brain".
The clerk replies with "Sure, here are some of our brains we have on sale"
"Here's the brain of a physicist, 5 dollars."
"Here's our second deal for today. The brain of an anti-vaxxer, 10,000 dollars".
The man, completely confused, asks "Why is the brain of an anti-vaxxer more expensive than of a physicist?"
"Because it's never been used" The clerk replies.

Thank you.

I read the post from u/AndiPandi92 about how she woke her dad up every morning with a joke from this subreddit. It is a beautiful post as are the comments. It inspired me to do the same for my dad. I already see him once a week - he has had seven strokes, can hardly talk but has an enormous brain capacity - very sharp and an easy laugh. I have told him jokes for two days and both times he laughed so tears fell down his cheeks (my mom told me afterwards) and he say thank you afterwards.
So thank you from me and my dad - you are all awesome ❤

The stomach is smarter than the brain.

Because the stomach warns you when it is empty, the brain does not.

I finally figured out what's wrong with my brain...

On the left side, there is nothing right.
On the right side, there is nothing left.

Cross-examination of a coroner

"Did you check the victim's pulse?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check if the victim's breathing had stopped?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check for any signs of brainwave activity?"
"No, I did not."
"Then how do you even know the victim is dead?"
"Well, his brain is in a jar on my desk right now, but for all I know he might be out practicing law somewhere."

A lawyer was interviewing a doctor about the death of a patient

"When you examined the patient, did you check his pulse?" asked the lawyer.
"I didn't" said the doctor.
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" said the lawyer.
"No, I did not" the doctor said.
"So in other words" the lawyer said "When you signed the death certificate you had NOT taken adequate steps to confirm he was dead."
"Well, let me put it this way," said the doctor- "At that point, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk. But for all I know I guess he could've been out practicing law somewhere!"

Your brain isn't real.

It's in your head.

Brain joke, Your brain isn't real.

jokes about brain

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these brain jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.