Brain Damage Jokes

38 brain damage jokes and hilarious brain damage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brain damage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Brain Damage Short Jokes

Short brain damage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brain damage humour may include short brain damaging jokes also.

  1. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
  2. Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.
  3. My friend crashed his motorbike. He's brain-damaged and both his legs are broken.
    You know, I'm really not surprised that he crashed his bike then.
  4. COVID-19 can damage the heart, lung, and brain. Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.
  5. They're making a new beauty and the beast where the princess is brain damaged and everyone picks her up to do curls. She is a dumb Belle
  6. If I could describe all the horrible things that a lifetime of inhaling paint has done to me in one word, ... ... that word would be brain damage.
  7. Q tips can cause brain damage. Be careful not to put disinformation too far into your ear canal.
  8. What are you watching tonight? The game where players make enough money to risk getting brain damage, or the debate where the players already have brain damage?
  9. I was in a horrible accident a few years ago, and I suffered some brain damage and lost feeling to my whole left side. I'm feeling all right now
  10. My friends said they couldn't reach me after I went blind and suffered brain damage I told them I was out of sight, out of mind

Share These Brain Damage Jokes With Friends

Brain Damage One Liners

Which brain damage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brain damage? I can suggest the ones about brain surgery and head injury.

  1. Your momma's so fat she gave her memory foam mattress brain damage....
  2. Two men walk into a bar They walk away with a concussion and brain damage
  3. If I had a nickel If I had a nickel for every time I hit my head, I'd have brain damage.
  4. What is it called when starvation causes brain damage? A hungry hungry hippocampus!
  5. How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? By giving it severe permanent brain damage.
  6. Pain is temporary... Brain damage is forever.
  7. Brain damage is just like playing golf
  8. I've banged so many chicks I can hardly remember them all Because of the brain damage.
  9. Jimmy has 7 apples, 4 oranges and no watermelons. What does Jimmy have? Brain Damage.

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Brain Damage Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about brain damage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brain cells jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make brain damage pranks.

Some bloke started talking to me in the pub last night.

"My mate came off his motorbike today," he said.
"Oh really?" I asked.
"Yes," he replied. "He has slight brain damage, two broken arms and is completely blind in one eye."
"Blimey," I said. "No wonder he came off it then."

An 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with no memory and brain damage.

The doctor asked him a series of questions:
Do you know where you are?
I'm at Rex Hospital.
What city are you in?
Do you know who I am?
Dr. Hamilton.
the old grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge.
guys i have copied this joke and edited formating. its not my original creation.

What do brain damage and m**... have in common?

After the first few strokes, there's no going back.

A parrot accidentally swallowed a viagara tablet and went berserk

He started h**... everything he could lay his wings on .
The owner called the vet who said that the overheating could damage his brain so asked him to put the parrot in a freezer.
The owner somehow caught the parrot and forced into the freezer and forced it shut.
After 10 mins, he slowly opened only to find the parrot sweating profusely.
The owner asked 'why are you sweating?'.
The parrot said ' Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?'

Two friends are driving through a town...

They see a billboard saying:
v**... + water = kidney problems;
r**... + water = liver problems;
Whiskey + water = heart issues;
Gin + water = brain damage;
Says one to the other dude, looks like there are some serious issues with water supply in this town

My ex called me today, begging me to look at an MRI she had recently

She said it would prove she had been acting crazy due to brain damage. Having been lied to so many times before I scoffed. Told her I wasn't having any of her psycho schematic b**...

God knows how many souls could have been saved ..

If the demonic possession hasn't been so often misdiagnosed for brain damage ...

A man who was brain damaged witnessed a robbery.

When the police came, they asked him what he saw. The man just stood there.
Sir, the policeman said, tell us what you saw.
I cannot remember.

After DiCaprio got brain damage, he decided to quit acting and become a ballet dancer.

What a leotard.

There once was an old cathedral in rural England...

There once was an old cathedral in rural England. It was near a small village and most of the people that lived there attended church every week. This was a sad time for the people of this village, as the much beloved bell ringer for the church had fallen ill and died.
The head minister of this cathedral had taken the death quite hardly, as he had been good friends with the man. Reluctantly, he put up a notice in the village square that they would be needing a replacement bell ringer. He knew that a man for the job was needed before the f**... of the old ringer.
Now, the day after notice was posted, the minister was in his study reading when a young man no older than 20 walked in. The minister looked up and asked, "What can I do for you, young man?"
The man, visibly eager to speak, replied, "I'm here about the posting you've made. I want to be the next bell ringer." There was an enthusiasm on this man's face that caught the minister's attention.
The minister, somewhat recognizing this enthusiasm, inquired, "Well that may be something we could discuss. But first, I must know, have I seen you here at the church or around town? You seem rather familiar."
"No, sir, I don't believe we've met before," the man replied.
"Ah, well then, it's very nice to make your acquaintance," said the minister. He reached out to shake the young man's hand, when he noticed something very out of the ordinary. The man had no arms! The minister pulled back his hand and apologized for the gesture.
"It's no problem, sir, I've been without them for my whole life, I'm quite used to that." The man redirected the conversation back to the job. "Now, I'd really like to talk about becoming the next bell ringer!"
The minister, slightly taken aback, wondered whether the armless man was serious. "My dear boy, surely you must be joking. You've got no arms! I mean no offense, but there is no way you could pull those heavy ropes to ring the bells."
The young man still had an eagerness about him, insisting that the minister give him a shot. "I can do it, let me show you! Please sir, I know I can do it. Come with me up the bell tower and I'll show you!"
At this point, the minister was wondering whether the man had some sort of brain damage as well. There was absolutely no way a man with no arms could ring those bells. But, being the generous man that he was, the minister decided to at least humor the man and go up into the bell tower with him.
Once they reached the top of the tower where the bells were held, the minister asked how the young man was going to ring them. "Like this," he simply replied with an odd smile on his face. The man took some step back towards one open arches that made up the bell tower, disregarding the ropes that hung next to him. He began walking slowly, then burst into a sprint, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell.
The minister couldn't believe it. This armless man had just mad the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard come out of that bell. Astounded, he turned to the man and exclaimed, "Dear boy, did you really just do that?"
Unfazed, the young man responded excitedly, "Yes sir! Would you like me to do it again?" Without waiting for an answer, the man once again stepped back to the arch, took a running start, jumped, and smacked his forehead against the bell.
Now, the minister was truly speechless. Although his previous thoughts about brain damage were almost certainly proven, he simply could not believe how beautiful the sound was that the bell made. He looked at the man, seeing no sign of harm to his head, but only a smile that showed how confident he was. The minister then made the final decision to make this young man the next bell ringer.
A few days had passed, and it was time for the f**... for the former ringer. Nearly the entire village showed up to mourn his passing. As the f**... dragged on as only funerals can, the newly appointed ringer made his way up the tower to give the bells a good BWONG-ing after the final eulogy had ended. This was his biggest break, his chance to show the entire village that he could be a great ringer. The excitement from that first day had swelled up until this point.
He listed for the sound of the last "Amen" from the congregation. It was his time now. The armless man closed his eyes to take it all in. After a deep sigh, he took some steps back, broke into a run, jumped, and smacked his forehead on the edge of the bell. Then, to his surprise, he tripped on a large old nail as he landed, stumbled toward one of the arches, and, unable to balance himself, fell out of the tower to his death.
The f**...-goers heard this strange sound and all rushed outside to see what was the matter. To their surprise, they found the newly appointed ringer dead on the ground. The crowd began talking among themselves, wondering who knew this man and whether any of his family was present. One man thought he had recognized the deceased man earlier with a family, but couldn't quite put his finger on it whether it was him or not. Everyone could agree that this man looked familiar.
As the minister finally reached the body through the crowd, he knelt down and wept beside him. A woman in the crowd asked, "Father, did you know who this man was?"
"No," he solemnly answered, "but his face sure rang a bell."