Brad Jokes

63 brad jokes and hilarious brad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about brad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh at Brad jokes! Whether it’s Chad and Brad, Brad the Robot, Brad Williams, Corey, Hamilton, or Cindy, there’s a joke here for everyone. From lighthearted stories to classic one-liners, join us as we explore the world of Brad jokes.

Best Short Brad Jokes

Short brad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The brad humour may include short chad jokes also.

  1. Just an innocent question Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Brad Pitt's is short, Madonna does not have one, and the Pope doesn't use it.
    What is it?
    >!A last name.!<
  2. A. Schwarzenegger has it long, Brad Pitt short, madonna does not have it and the Pope does not use it. What is it? A surname.
  3. [using Ouija board] "yo Brad, can you hear us?" [Brad responding...]
    this is gonna take a while, Brad died in 1999.
  4. Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.
  5. Brad Pitt visits his doctor. "Hey Doc, you ever see me in that movie Seven with Morgurt Freeman?" "Uh do you mean Morgan?"
    "Oh yeah, sorry Doc. Morgurt Morgan".
  6. Arnold's got a long one, Brad's got a short one, and the Pope doesn't use his... I'm talking about their last names, you pervert!
  7. Brangelina is no more. And it's really sad to see that Brad Pitt is now just 'Br' while Angelina Jolie gets her whole forename back.
  8. So I asked my partially blind friend if he thought my dad looked like Brad Pitt He said, "yeah I can kinda see that..."
  9. This woman said that I reminded her of Brad Pitt. I was flattered, until she mentioned it was when he played Benjamin Button.
  10. Arnold has a big one. Brad has a small one. The Pope doesn't use it. Obviously, I'm talking about their last names.

Quick Jump To

Brad joke, Arnold has a big one. Brad has a small one. The Pope doesn't use it.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about brad can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of brad puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Brad One Liners

Which brad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with brad? I can suggest the ones about bran and brat.

  1. Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats? Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt.
  2. Do you know what my dad and Brad Pitt have in common? Neither came to my birthday party
  3. What do you call a small nail hole? A Brad Pit.
  4. Brad and Angelina gave us Brangelina. Now we have Shitstorm to talk about.
  5. What do you call the divorce between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? a Brexit
  6. Kevin Spacey once gave head to Brad Pitt... ... in the last scene of "Seven".
  7. What shoes does Brad wear? Loafers!
  8. What is Brad Pitt's cousin called? Of course it is Toast Pitt.
  9. What do you call a pregnant Brad Pitt? Bred Pitt.
  10. My cousin My cousin's name is Brad Johnson.....
  11. What is Brad Pitt's Indian cousin's name? Bradpeet
  12. Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
  13. heres a list of all my crushes orange

    brad pitt
    in that order!!
  14. So Angelina wants her marriage to Brad Pitt to be made Null and Voigt.
  15. Have you seen the trailer for the new Brad Pitt action thriller? Spanks on a Plane

Brad Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny brad name jokes and even better brad name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The Queen Elizabeth doesn't have one. The Pope has one, yet he does not use it. Arnold Schwarzenegger's is big, and Brad Pitt's is small. What am I talking about?
    A last name, you pervs.
  • Is your son's name Brad? Because it wud b rad if it was :P

Brad And Angelina Jokes

Here is a list of funny brad and angelina jokes and even better brad and angelina puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are fighting over the custody of their adopted Ethiopian child. Although eventually one of them will lose and have to keep her.
  • Angelina Jolie to divorce Brad Pitt Bradxit

Brad Williams Jokes

Here is a list of funny brad williams jokes and even better brad williams puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A friend of mine got us two tickets to Brad Williams. He said I've seemed really sad lately, and that I could use a pygmy up.
Brad joke, A friend of mine got us two tickets to Brad Williams.

The Funniest Brad Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about brad you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean matt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make brad prank.

A husband and wife are talking about their relationship...

and the wife suggests they each pick one person that they can have s**... with without the other getting mad. The husband agrees and lets the wife go first. She thinks about it for a bit and settles on Brad Pitt. The husband nods his head and says "The neighbor."

I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in.....

"Troy." he said, suddenly.
"I am." I replied. "Give me a minute"

Steven Spielberg is casting for his upcoming blockbuster on the history of classical music.

He asks his stars who they want to play. Brad Pitt says, "I want to be Mozart. His pastiche of influences from several European countries has always fascinated me." Tom Cruise chimes in with, "I'd like to be Beethoven. I love the way he handled the transition from Classicism to Romanticism." Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "I'll be Bach."

A woman rubs a lamp and out pops a genie.

''You're a kind lady, so I'll grant you one wish,'' the genie tells her.''See this cat? I'd rather have a strong, handsome man,'' she says.The genie agrees and – p**...! – the cat turns into a Brad Pitt clone. The woman leaps into his lap.''Do you have anything to say before we make love?'' she asks.''Yes,'' he says. ''I bet you wish you hadn't had me neutered last week.''

I wonder if Brady was pressured into cheating.

What did Brad Pitt in Seven and Harvey Weinstein in real life both get?

Gwyneth Paltrow's head.

Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

It's gonna be tough for Brad Pitt to start dating again.

Everybody knows Tomb Raider sequels are terrible.

A woman said to me, "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Brad Pitt?"

I said, "No, nobody."
She said, "They've clearly never seen The Curious Case of Benjamin Button."

Brady once again charged with letting the air out of something.

This time it was the Falcons defense

When my wife and I got married,

we mutually decided to each select that one person who we'd most like to have s**... with and, if by some miracle, it happened, the other wouldn't get angry. She picked Brad Pitt and I went with Uma Thurman (Uma!!). For our 20th anniversary, I thought it would be fun to change things up and she agreed. So, she picked George Clooney and I chose the next door neighbor.

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.

Women say I'm ugly, but when they see my bank account suddenly they compare me to Brad Pitt.

They all tell me that I'm as attractive as I am rich.

My flat mate was always scared whenever my other flat mate went to the toilet

I'd call him and go 'hey Brad is Mike home?' and Brad would reply 'I'm afraid he's in the bathroom'

There is at least one great philosophy in each of Brad Bird's films

The Incredibles: "When everyone's special, nobody is."
Ratatouille: "Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere."
The Iron Giant: "Screw our country, I want to live."

What do you get from crossing Brad Pitt, Vladimir Putin and Adolf h**...?

Bryan Cranston and Brad Pitt are both staring in a new movie about the life of inmates in Guantanamo Bay

Out this summer: "Breaking Brad"

My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with...

She read hers out: 'One, George Clooney; two, Brad Pitt; three, Justin Timberlake; four, Jake Gyllenhaal; five, Johnny Depp.' I thought, I've got the better deal here: 'One, your sister... That's where our conversation ended..

I saw Brad Pitt on the street then I suddenly became a hot movie actor and he turned into your average Joe.

Because we exchanged "looks".

4 people are on a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes.

The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."

Deaf Man Steals Chicken

There once was a deaf man named Jeff who lived in the countryside. He had this neighbor, Brad, who raised some chickens in his front yard.
One day, Jeff was was walking by his neighbor's house and saw one fat juicy chicken that caught his eye. Seeing that there was no one around, Jeff stole the chicken and made himself a delicious roasted chicken that night.
Next morning, when he saw his neighbor, Brad, the following conversation took place:
Brad: Howdy neighbor !
Jeff: WHAT f**... CHICKEN ??

Did you hear about the cannibal who wanted to eat the cast of Ocean's Eleven?

He filled up on Brad

It's nice to see that celebrities have taken up book writing during the pandemic

One Direction by Kanye West
Guitars by Mel Gibson
Mining by Brad Pitt
Pear Cider by Katy Perry
Ship Building by Tom Cruise
How to Move Things by Jim Carrey
Escape from Prison by Morgan Freeman
American Motors by Harrison Ford
Wild Animals by Will Ferrell

Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.

Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,
Well what does that leave you with?
Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Brad joke, Just an innocent question

jokes about brad

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these brad jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.