Bra Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Bra jokes. There are some bra brah jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bra crotchless puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Ridiculous Bra Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now take off my bra and panties." and so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

With a very seductive voice, a wife asked her husband, Have you ever seen $20 all crumpled up?

No said her husband. She gave him a little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons, reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled $20 note.

She then asked Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up? No, I haven't he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She seductively unzipped her skirt and pulled out a crumpled $50 note.

Now she said. Have you ever seen $40,000 all crumpled up? No way! he panted, becoming even more excited,

She said Look in the garage.

What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?

They just give you a bra and say "Here, fill this out."

My girlfriend came home and told me to take off her shirt so I did

Then she told me to take off her skirt so I did. Then she told me to take off her bra and panties so I did. Then she told me to never wear her things again

jokes about bra

Tripped over my friends bra...

..she is always setting booby traps!

My sister asked me to remove her clothes.

So I took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt."

I took off her skirt."Take off my shoes."

I took off her shoes.

"Now take off my bra and panties."

and so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

So my wife said "take off my shirt".

So I did as she said and took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I continued and took off her skirt.

"Take off my shoes." Once again, I did as she said and I took off her shoes.

"Now my hose, bra, and panties." And lastly, I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

A lady calls her butler into her room and says, "Jeeves, take off my dress"

He casually says, "Yes, Madam", and removes the dress. Then she says, "Jeeves, take off my underwear". Again, he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the undergarment. She then says, "Jeeves, take off my bra". Again, with no hesitation he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the bra. Then she says, "Now out of my sight! If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt.

Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."

So I took off her skirt.

Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."

So I took off her bra and panties.

Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift

What is the German word for a bra?

stoppenfromfloppen

You can explore bra boob reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bra downtrodden dad jokes. There are also bra puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I stared intensely as my neighbour removed the red dress, then the bra, then the silk underwear.

"Oo yeah," I whispered to myself, as I looked through my telescope, "you keep emptying that washing machine, baby."

Victoria's Secret has launched a revolutionary new bra, "Croatia"

..it has lot's of support but no cup

A bag of Frito Lays and a bra are the same...

Once you open them you realize there's only half of what you thought inside

My favorite type of bra

is algebra.

After spending 20 minutes trying to take my girlfriend's bra off, I've decided to give up

I wish I'd never put it on now

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Thank you.

it's just taken me half an hour to get my girlfriends bra off

it's the last time i'm trying it on

What did the mermaid forget to bring to math class?

Her algae bra

When I get home im going to tear my wife's bra right off

The straps are killing me

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra.

It was a booby-trap.

Haven't worn a bra in 4 days....

I love being a man

How do you say "bra" in German?

Dat schud stoppem frum floppen.

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriends bra. I gave up in the end.

I wish I never tried it on in the first place.

Prince Harry and William must feel so awkward in a strip club

Imagine having to put pictures of your gran into a stripper's bra

After playing racquetball at the gym, two guys hit the shower and were getting changed...

and the first guy was putting on a bra. The second guy looked surprised and asked "How long have you been wearing a bra?" The first guy answers "Ever since my wife found it under the bed".

What do you call a bra in Germany?

A Stoppemfromfloppen

I don't understand why guys think it's so difficult to take off a girl's bra.

I can do it with both hands behind my back!

Bench Bros...

Two guys are in the gym working on their bench pressing when a busty coed comes up to the rack next to them and begins to do her workout. One guy turns to his spotter and says "hey you think that's a push up bra?" And his spotter says "nah brah, that's a squat"

I bought a push up bra today...

It didn't work, I can still only do 2...

Wife told her husband

A man's wife comes up to him and tells him, Take off my shirt. So he does.

She then tells him, Take off my skirt and high heels. So he does.

Then she tells him, Take off my bra and underwear. So he does.

Finally she tells him, I better never find you wearing my clothes again.

My secretary doesn't wear any bra or panties to work.

But he types really well.

Judy entered a church

She was wearing a see through blouse and no bra.

"You can't come into this church dressed like that!" Exclaimed the priest.

"But I have a divine right!" Replied Judy.

"You have a divine left too, but you still can't come in dressed like that!"

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters.

Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"

My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes yesterday.

She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra.

What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common?

They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen.

My girlfriend came home from work last night and immediately said, "Claud, take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

Ive just spent 20 minutes trying to get my girlfriends bra off.

I really shouldn't have put it on in the first place.

My Girlfriends Bra

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriend's bra. I finally just gave up. Now, I am really wishing I wouldn't have tried it on.

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriends bra...

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriend's bra. I gave up at the end. I wish I had never tried it on in the first place.

Dave's wife tied him to the bed posts last night.

Dave's wife tied him to the bed posts last night. Unable to move, he could do nothing to stop her slowly stripping down to her bra and pants in front of him.

She knelt on the bed, between his thighs and said

"Ok big boy, what would you like me to take off next?"

Dave gulped: "My glasses, please."

Did you hear about the new bra they call the Sheepdog?

It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.

I just spent over a half hour trying to get my girlfriend's bra off...

Man I'll never try wearing that again

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realise it's half empty.

What does a mermaid mathematician wear?

An algae bra!

My girlfriend asked me to take off her clothes.

So I took off her shirt.

Then she said, "Take off my skirt."

I took off her skirt.

"Now take off my bra and panties."

And so I took them off.

Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

A young man walks into a ladies clothing store...

"I need to buy my girlfriend some gloves, but I don't know what size her hands are."

The beautiful young employee presses her hands into his and says, "I'm a 'small'. Does that help?"

"Oh yeah," he says. "You're hands are the exact same size as hers."

"Do you need anything else?" the young girl asks him.

"Now that you mention it, she also needs a bra and panties."

I tripped over my sister's bra the other day

It was boobie trap

A bra, a battery, and a set of jumper cables walk into a bar...

The battery and cables sit down at a table while the bra approaches the bartender.

Bra says, "Three pints, please."

Bartender replies, "I'm not serving you."

The bra asks why not.

Bartender answers, "Because you're clearly off your tits and your friends look like they're about to start something."

A girl looked at me funny last night as I struggled to take her bra off...

She was probably wondering why I had it on in the first place.

A man in a bra.

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, How long have you been wearing that bra? The friend replies, Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment.

Sexy time with my girlfriend

So, me and my girlfriend are making out.
She says, "take off my shirt!"
I took off her shirt.
She then says, "take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt.
She also says "take off my shoes!"
I took off her shoes.
Finally, she says "take off my bra and panties!"
I took off her bra and panties.
She then looks at me and says "I don't wanna catch you wearing my things ever again!"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Either way he's getting at least two cups

My wife came into the bedroom & said "Take off my bra"......

So I took her bra off.

She then said "Take off my panties"

So I took her panties off.

She then said "Stop wearing my underwear!!"

I walked into my sisters room and tripped on a bra...

It was a booby trap!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Stolen ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^from ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^The ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Last ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Of ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^us

My step-sister walked into my room one day and

My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."
So I took off her shirt.

Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."

So I took off her skirt.

Then she says, "Take off my bra and panties..."

So I took off her bra and panties.

Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"

I went to go apply for a job at Hooters today

They just handed me a bra and said Here fill this out

She said "undress me with your words"

So I replied by saying "there's a spider in your bra".

A middle aged lady decides to revamp her sex life with her husband.

She asks her friends what she should do and the concensus is to get some sexy lingerie and surprise him. So she goes out and buys a lacy bra and crotchless panties. That night when her husband is in bed watching TV she appears in the doorway wearing the lingerie and says 'hey big boy! Fancy some of this?', he looks over casually, his eyes widen, he sits bolt upright in the bed and shouts 'fuck no! Look what it did to your panties!'.

A runner walks into a bar

An ultra runner jogs into a bar and orders a beer. She reaches into her sweaty sports bra and pulls out a sweaty crumpled $5 bill to pay. The bartender gingerly picks up the damp bill with a pair of tongs and dumps it in a bucket. "You realize every time I get money with bodily fluids on them I have to report it to the government," the bartender grumbles. "It's gross income."

In the locker room after the game...

The guys have finished playing, have showered, and are getting dressed. Dennis pulls out a black lace bra and panties and starts to put them on.

His team mates begin laughing, and making fun of him. The coach asks, "Hey, Dennis! Since when did you start wearing women's underwear?"

Dennis replies, "Since my wife found them under the passenger seat of my car."

How did the cops catch the bra thief?

They set a booby trap.

Two autocorrecting iPhones walk into a bear

Bard*

BRA*

BOAR*

JESUS %#$&ING CHRISTINA AGUILERA

I was woken late last night about 3am

By my next door neighbor in a very revealing negligee, bra, thongs and high heel boots, and asking to borrow a cup of sugar.

I said, 'fuck off dave, I've got work in the morning'.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

He gets beaten by the woman wearing it as that's not how dyslexia works

A dslexic man walked into a bra.

His wife's washing was hanging out to dry and he wasn't looking where he was going. The man's dyslexia was admittedly pretty irrelevant to the event.

What does a push-up bra and a bag of chips have in common?

When you open them, they're only half full.

What did the Wonderbra say to the regular bra?

Do you even lift?

My wife told me to take off her shirt

I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt off. "Take off my shoes" I took off her shoes. "Now my stockings, bra, and panties!" I took all of them off. Then she looks at me and said, "I dont want to catch you wearing my things ever again!"

What did the bra say to the hat at the end of the undergarment party?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

Bra Sazes

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!


(A) Almost boobs.
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

When he gently removed her bra, she whispered

why were you wearing my bra?

How do you catch a bra?

With a booby trap!

I tripped over my wife's bra

She set a boobie trap

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

But they didn't serve milk

What do you call a bra that tightens the more you try to take it off?

A booby trap!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bra panty puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working bra lingerie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes