Boys Jokes

145 boys jokes and hilarious boys puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boys that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Boys Jokes

Short boys jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boys humour may include short girls jokes also.

  1. A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad... ...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
    Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
  2. Why did elon musk choose SpaceX to land on mars? Because if he chose SpaceY he'd land on 14 year old boys.
  3. My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."
  4. Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
  5. My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila. You're coming home now! she screamed.
    No, I'm not, I laughed.
    She said, I'm talking to the kids.
  6. Boy: What's a palindrome?
    Teacher: racecar
    {10 years later}
    Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
    Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
  7. When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. I was touched.
  8. You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant, If it floats it's boy ant.
  9. A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean? Father: It means 'to be happy'.
    Son: Are you gay?
    Father: No, son. I have a wife.
  10. What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul? BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

Quick Jump To

Boys joke, What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about boys can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of boys puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Boys One Liners

Which boys one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boys? I can suggest the ones about boyfriend and mates.

  1. I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms leg.
  2. What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!
  3. What did the boy with no arms get for his birthday ? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet
  4. MOM! I'm being called gay in school. Who is calling you that son?
    A bunch of cute boys.
  5. How did Kevin Spacey find the little boy in all the Tall grass? Satisfying.
  6. As a young boy my mom would always tuck me in at night She always wanted a girl.
  7. If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy" You get "This page cannot be found".
  8. How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy.
  9. You know what separates the men from the boys? Social services.
  10. You call it necrophilia.... But I call it cracking open a cold one with the boys.
  11. What did the Indian boy say to his mom before he left? Mumbai.
  12. "It's a boy! " Frank exclaimed. "It's a boy!" And he never visited Bangkok ever again.
  13. What is a vampire's favourite thing to do? Crack open a boy with the cold ones.
  14. I just flew back from a Transformers convention And boy are my arms tires
  15. How did the priest find the little boy in the tall grass? Delightful

Young Boys Jokes

Here is a list of funny young boys jokes and even better young boys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"
    Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?
  • A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks "Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"
    Papa is surprised and asks "20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?"
  • [Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"
  • A young jewish boy asks his father for $50 His father replies: "$40? what do you need $30 for?"
  • This bloke said to me This bloke said to me, "Tim, as a young boy, was your mother very strict with you?" I said, "Let me make one thing absolutely clear. My mother was never a young boy."
  • A young boy asked his dad why does Santa only visit once a year? The dad replied because he's in jail the rest of the year for breaking and entering .
  • Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes Porsche cars.
    Son: Thanks dad.
    Dad: You're welcomed, young boy.
  • This is my all time favorite joke Old man: I love my job
    Young boy: all you do is round up sheep
    Old man: what did you say to me?
    Young boy: you herd
  • A friend asked me "As a young boy, was your mother very strict?" I said "Let's get one thing straight, my mother was *never* a young boy."
  • A young girl asked her mother "mom, when you had me did you want a boy or a girl? The mother responded "I wanted a backrub".

Boys Life Jokes

Here is a list of funny boys life jokes and even better boys life puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a little boy made of pasta who comes to life? Pi-gnocchi-o
    (I really wish you could hear how hard I'm laughing to myself)
  • Last week a young boy saved a priests life in the United States... ... he discovered the priest had early stage testicular cancer...
  • Boy: Would you like to be the sun of my life? Girl: Awwww yes!!! Boy: Good then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me.
  • Girls like bad boys, so why can't I get a girlfriend? I'm bad at literally everything. (If you came here expecting a joke, I'm sorry, the joke is my life)
  • What's it called when a 12 year old African boy that's crying? A mid-life crisis
  • Why did the boy fail to become a footballer ? He didn't have any goal in his life
  • What's the worst period in a teenage boy's life? The one his girlfriend misses.
  • Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings? He went to Jared.
  • Greek Life Q: Why did the young Greek boy run away from home?
    A: He was not being reared right!
  • Boy rockss Boyfriend: Can you be the moon of my life?
    Girlfriend: Awww Yes sweetheart...!
    Boyfriend:Great!then stay 9,955,887.6 away from me..!! :P

Teenage Boys Jokes

Here is a list of funny teenage boys jokes and even better teenage boys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
  • Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
    Teenage boy: "October 12th."
    Employee: "What year?"
    Boy: "Every year."
  • A teenager buys condoms for the first time... The cashier says, "That'll be $9.95 plus tax.".

    Horrified, the boy exclaims "I thought they stayed on by themselves!"
  • "I have the brain of a german shepherd and the body of a teenage boy. They're both in my trunk and I want you to see them."
  • How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar? They both want to unzip your genes
  • A teenage boy is like an alarm clock Comes in handy once a day
  • How are teenaged boys like the enzyme helicase? They both want to unzip your genes!
    credit goes to Hank from CrashCourse on Youtube :)
  • The entire plot of spiderman A teenage boy finds out he can shoot white stuff out his body
  • Teenage twin boys in a "special needs" class were suspended for online gambling while at school... Turns out they have DoubleDown syndrome.
  • How do teenage boys keep warm? Jackit

Catholic Boys Jokes

Here is a list of funny catholic boys jokes and even better catholic boys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.
  • As the old Catholic saying goes, Condoms: they're what separate the men from the boys
  • What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he hits puberty.
  • A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, "I want to screw him." The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"
  • What's the difference between Acne and a Catholic Priest ? Acne only comes on a boys face when he's twelve.
  • What is the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest? A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13.
    This joke is all in good fun, sorry if anyone happens to be offended!
  • Why don't catholic priest believe in condoms? Because little boys can't get pregnant.
  • Two nuns at a Catholic Church Two nuns at a Catholic Church near me got pregnant.
    On an unrelated note, they dressed up as altar boys for Halloween.
  • What do wine and altar boys have in common? Catholic priests like them aged eight years
  • What does Walmart and catholic priest have in common. They both have boys pants half off.
Boys joke, What does Walmart and catholic priest have in common.

Howlingly Hilarious Boys Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about boys you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean teen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make boys prank.

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

Two Native Americans

Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit
down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there
s**... back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says,
"How would you boys like a b**...?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him
unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do
that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting
a job!"

Health Class

Three boys received their grades from their s**... education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.
"One day we should get her for this," said the first boy.
"I agree. But what should we do?" said the second.
"I've got it!" said the third. "We can kick her in the nuts!"

The two troublemakers

A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame.
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually.
So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we did it!"

Two boys were walking in the forest...

... and they came across the most beautiful women taking a bath in a hot spring. Upon seeing this, one boy took of running, and the other went after him. When he caught up to the other he asked "Why did you run off?". To this the other replied "Well, my mom told me that if I ever saw a n**... women I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard!"

Two boys sitting to pee

Two five year old boys are sitting at the p**... to pee.
When one says, " Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
" I've been circumcised." Says the second boy.
" What does that mean?"
"It means they cut the protective skin skin off the end."
" How old were you when it was cut off?"
" My mom said that I was two days old."
" Did it hurt?"
" You bet it hurt, I couldn't walk for a whole year!"

After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black...

...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief


A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which he replied. "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye

A w**... Contest.

Three 3rd Graders, an Irish, an Italian, and a Black are in the bathroom during recess and they decide to have a w**... contest to see who has the biggest w**...! The Irish boy pulls his out first and it's pretty small. The Italian goes next and it's about average. Then the Black Boy pulls his out and it's clearly the largest, but the other boys say "Well you won, but it's because you're black!"
So that night when the black boy goes home, his mom asks him what he did in school that day. He tells her how they did coloring, and reading, and what they learned, and how he played recess, but then he says "And mom, today me and my friends had a w**... contest, and I won! But mom, the others boys said I only won because I'm black". To which his mom replies "Tyrone, you didn't win because you're black, you won because you're 17!"

Two small boys meet on the first day of school

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.


A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their d**...?"
"Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow in the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

How did the blind priest find the choir boys?


Three boys are bragging about whose dad is the fastest runner...

The first says "My dad is a hunter. He can shoot an arrow, run to where it's gonna land and catch it!"
"That's nothing!" says the second boy "My dad's a police officer. He can shoot a bullet and be at the target before the bullet hits!"
"My dad can run the fastest!" says the third boy. "He's a civil servant. He works till 4 and is always home by 3:30!"

Taxidermist walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"

s**... Education

Two boys get their report cards and notice that they both got Fs from their s**... education teacher.
"I can't believe we failed s**... ed," says the first boy. "My dad's gonna kill me."
"I know," says the other. "I'm so mad I could kick Mrs. Wilson in the nuts!"

Smart pills

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''
''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like c**....''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''

How many prepubescent teen boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

He said "screw" lolol

A middle-aged teacher named Mrs. Jackson saw one of her first grade boys making rude faces at the preschoolers on the playground

She said "You know, Liam, when I was a little girl I was told that if I made ugly faces it might freeze and stay like that."
Liam replied "Well sorry Mrs. Jackson, but you can't say you weren't warned.

Two boys are in the woods...

...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting n**... in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see n**... chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a n**... girl before I'm married, I'll turn to stone and I felt something getting hard!"

A man walked into McDonald's and saw a black woman with 8 children running all around her.

"Mike, stop that!" she shouted at one.
"Mike, stop bothering your brother," she yelled at another.
"Mike, how many times do I have to tell you not to pick your nose," she chided yet another.
"I'm sorry ma'am," the man said, "but... are all your boys named Mike?"
"Yes sir," she replied.
"Isn't that confusing?" he asked.
"No, they all have different last names."

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?

Pimples don't come on boys faces till they hit 13

If our last names came from the jobs of our ancestors...

Then I feel really bad for the boys of the "Dickinson" family tree.

A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?"

"What's that?" asks her mother. "That babies come out of the same place where boys put their p**...?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager, "won't it knock my teeth out?"

Little Johnny was made fun of...

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being s**.... Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

& they're like "How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"

Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys

Well not to brag or anything but
I'm bad at everything

Two boys argue over whose parents are better.

The first boy says, "My dad's better than your dad."
The other boy says, "Well, my mom is better than your mom."
The first boy pauses, "I guess you're right. My dad says the same thing."

A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.

A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
"But wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well? Won't they find out?"
"And who's gonna tell?"

No, that snake's not poisonous at all.

A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.

Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".

"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"

Had to quit my band after nobody came to any of our gigs.

Going to miss the boys from "Private Function".


Two young boys are waiting for their
What operation are you having done?
Getting my tonsils out, what about you?
Oh that's bad, I had that done when I was born
and I couldn't walk for a year

What do you get when you cross necrophilia with group s**...?

Popping open a cold one with the boys

So Trump is working with Putin on cybersecurity...

In other news, the principal at my school is working with the boys to install a surveillance system to insure privacy in the girls' locker room.

Two young boys go to a store

They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."

The dating scene at Hogwarts must really s**....

Since every girl there has a magic wand, they don't really need the boys at all.

A married man left work early one Friday afternoon...

Instead of going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck) partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a barrage of epithets from his furious wife. After a couple of hours of nagging and berating, his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days!?!"
"That would suit me just fine!!!"
Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little, just out of the corner of his left eye..

Three boys were talking after school...

Three boys were talking after school while waiting for their fathers to pick them up. The first one boasts: "My dad is a Formula One driver. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:15."
The second boy says: "That's nothing. My dad is a jet pilot. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:05!"
The last boy looks at his companions and says: "Pfff.... amateurs! My dad works for the government. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 4:45!"

When I was an altar boy, Father Murphy always said that I was his favorite and was so much nicer than the other boys...

I was touched...

What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

A rook moves in straight lines and a bishop has s**... with young boys.

I have two boys, 5 and 6.

We're no good at naming things in our house.

Three boys are hanging around a farm trying to get a glimpse of the farmer's daughter showering.

The farmer notices them and he grabs his shotgun. They run and hide in the barn, each in one sack. The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks.
He kicks one. From the sack, a sound comes out: Meow!
"Must be a cat." He moves on.
Kicks the second sack: Woof! Woof!!
"Must be a dog." He moves on.
He kicks the third sack: The sack says: "Potatoes!"

Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river

One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful n**... woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a n**... woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!

What's the difference between Thailand and America?

Thailand reunites boys with their families.

I'm glad the cave rescue is complete....

Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results

A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar

she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.
"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."
So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"
"Really? What did you do?"
"I told them 'I'm not going to be fooled into reposting!"

3 boys are bragging about their grandfathers

The first boy said: "My grandpa's mansion is worth a million dollars."
While the second said:"Well my grandpa's mansion is worth 5 million, he has a private basketball court and a clubhouse too. "
The last one said:" My grandpa's roof is worth 15 million alone... "
The other two replied:" Wow, where does your grandpa live?"
He replied:"under the overpass of course! "

Little Emily went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say "No", they only want to look at your knickers."

Emily said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag"!

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy,

the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother. It's only natural for young boys and girls to explore their sexuality by playing doctor at their age, the neighbor said. Sexuality?! the mother yelled. He took out her appendix!

Two little boys are at a wedding when one leans over to other and asks:

"How many wives are we allowed to have?"
His friend answered "Sixteen. Four better, four worse, four richer and four poorer!"

Two teenage boys are walking down an alley

when they see a stray dog l**... its c**....
The one boy says, Man, I really wish I could do that.
His friend responds, I don't know, you'd better pet him and see if he's friendly, first.

Since people are translating their native jokes, I hope no one has posted this yet

There were 3 boys who were being chased by the police. John the wise, Peter the smart, and Jose the dumb.
As the police were gaining on them, they each decided to hide in a box in an alley way.
The policeman ran up to John's Box and kicked it.
Thinking quickly, John said "Woof woof"
The policeman shrugged and said "Ohhh, its just a dog"
He then went up Peter's box, and kicked it.
Peter followed John's example, "Meow meow"
The Policeman shrugged again and said "Ohhh, its just a cat"
He then went to the last box, which hid Jose and kicked it
"Potato Potato"

Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.

They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.
The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?

Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church.

One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him.

Me: I have a fear of the Backstreet Boys

Therapist: tell my why
Me: *shrieks in t**...*

s**... education

Three boys received their grades from their female s**... education instructor. One got a D+, the second a D- and the third an F.
One day we should get her for this, said the first boy.
I agree. We'll grab her... said the second.
Yeah, said the third. And then we'll kick her in the nuts!

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers

The first boy says, My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.
The second boy says, That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.
The third boy says, I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!

Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either"

Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?

He heard Boys pants were half off.

Two boys are arguing when the teacher enters the classroom. The teacher says, What are you two arguing about?

One boy answers, We found a ten-dollar bill and decided whoever tells the biggest lie gets to keep it.
You two should be ashamed of yourselves, said the teacher. When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was. The boys looked at each other and handed the ten dollars to the teacher.

Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels

"you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum
"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"

Each year, a lawyer takes his holidays at an out of the way, country hotel.

With each visit, he continues his affair with the hotel owner's daughter.
On his visit this year he finds out she has given birth to twin boys.
Why on earth didn't you tell me? said the astonished lawyer.
You know I would have married you and provided for the babies.
The woman replied, That may be so. But when I told my parents I was pregnant, we talked over the options and decided it was far better to have a couple of b**... in the family than a lawyer".

Teenage boys

Two teenage boys go to confession. In the booth the first boy admits having s**... with a girl but refuses to name her. The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' The boy says 'No, Father it wasn't'. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. The boy replies 'No, Father. it wasn't. 'It wasn't Jane Carter by any chance?' The boy says 'No father it wasn't' The priest gives up and says 'Well for your penance say fifty Hail Mary's and leave half your pocket money in the poor box.' When the boy leaves his friend asks him how it went. He replies 'Not bad, a $5 fine and three great leads!'

Doctor, doctor . . . All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

**Doctor:** " Sounds like a really bad case of *parking sons disease* "

A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from town, when the girl stopped the boy.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a h**... and I charge $20 for s**...." The boy reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the boy just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

When I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner, she said with a straight face, "uncooked boys."

Ramen. Took me second, but I was much relieved when I figured it out.

My 7 year old organically made this up!

Super Bowl halftime show, watching with my wife and boys, wife says The halftime show is a bunch of rappers from the 80's and 90's, including Eminem, I really like him.
7 year old: Mn'Ms are good, but I like Skittles better
Wife: Not the candies silly, the rapper!
7 year old: Why would you just eat the wrappers!?

Me: I'm scared of The Backstreet Boys

Therapist: Tell me why
Me: ***screams

Doctor, doctor . . . All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!

Doctor: Sounds like a really bad case of parking sons disease.

"Proud Boys" should change their name, to avoid being tied to PRIDE events...

... to something like "Reigning Men."

The Beastie Boys have released a 5 part documentary! Parts A through D are freely available to download, but

You have to fight for your right to Part E!

Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee.

One turns to the other and says, Your dinky doesn't have any skin on it.
That's because I've been circumcised, he replies.
Cor! What does that mean?
It means the skin's been cut off the end.
How old were you when they did that?
About two days old.
Did it hurt?
It sure did. I didn't walk for a year.

A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion

when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"
The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."
The rabbi asked, "And then?"
The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."
The rabbi again asked, "And then?"
The priest again pondered the question before responding "Then I would become Pope!"
The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked "And then?"
The priest, exasperated, cried "What else could I become? God Himself!?"
The rabbi quietly responded "One of our boys made it"


A minister passed a group of teenaged boys sitting on the church lawn. Evening, boys. What are you doing? Nothing much, Pastor, replied the one lad. We're just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about his s**... life. Boys, boys, boys! intoned the minister. I'm shocked. When I was your age, I never thought about s**... at all. The boys looked at each other and then said in unison, You win, Pastor!

Boys joke, Liar

jokes about boys

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these boys jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.