Boyf Jokes
80 boyf jokes and hilarious boyf puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boyf that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Boyf Short Jokes
Short boyf jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boyf humour may include short sync jokes also.
- Girl: Do you think I am ugly? Me: I don't know, ask your boyfriend.
Girl: Wait I don't have a boyf...
Me: Case closed.
Share These Boyf Jokes With Friends
Cheerful Boyf Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about boyf you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beau jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boyf pranks.
My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution
Could this be a red flag?
My boyfriend is leaving me because I procrastinate too often.
It's fine though,
I'll win him back eventually.
My boyfriend and I were at my daughter's volleyball game...
when we noticed a couple in the bleachers.
They were being VERY affectionate.
She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on his ear.
He had his hands on her too.
I said to my boyfriend,
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
He said, "Watch them, you already know how to play volleyball. -_-"
How is Rihanna's boyfriend and power tools the same?
They're both Black and Decker.
The New Boyfriend
[redacted]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Granny's boyfriend
A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."
Why is Barbie's boyfriend afraid of commitment?
He's a chic Ken.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Better Boyfriend （18+Dirty jokes）
Two girls were comparing boyfriends.
"Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!"
"Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard l**... there is!"
I think my sister's boyfriend is beating her.
Now I don't have any physical evidence. I don't see any scratches or bruises. But I had dinner at her place last weekend and her cooking has gotten WAY better!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend (of an 11 year age difference) said this to me the other day...
True story: My boyfriend and I were taking a walk and he happened to be wearing his reading glasses (which I find adorable).
Me: Ooh, you look like a s**... teacher in those glasses. I think I need to stay after school...
Him: Yes, I'll show you how many times 38 goes into 27.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, my boyfriend said my h**... weren't very good
I beat him into submission.
What'd I tell my boyfriend after he broke up with me?
"Now that I'm one of your ex-girlfriends, I look forward to you actually flirting with me now!"
A boyfriend says to his girlfriend, "Baby, you're kind of like Charles Barkley..."
"...You've been on the team for so long and you're still not getting a ring! Happy Valentines day!"
No need for a boyfriend
Cause who needs a boyfriend when I have my grades to keep going down on me
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend offered to do analingus if I'd trim a "landing s**......"
I told him he should be more worried about Skid Row.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think my boyfriend is a member of the k**...
Because he is a wizard under the sheets.
A blonde's boyfriend dies after choking
She tried calling 911 but couldn't find the eleven.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My daughter's boyfriend came round.
"Don't even think about having s**... with her," I told him, while she was in the toilet.
"OK, sir. I understand," he panicked.
"Good," I replied, "I wouldn't want you to be as disappointed as I was."
My boyfriend broke up with me today
He said he wanted to celebrate Independence day
My boyfriend and I are Cherokee Indians. He stood me up at our favorite restaurant last night...
But it's OK. I don't think we could have stayed anyway, we didn't have a reservation.
Boyfriend and Girlfriend
Boyfriend and Girlfriend are sitting in their apartment, the boy is playing Xbox One.
Boy: Why do you look so sad?
Girl: ...
Boy: Turns of his Xbox one.
Girl: Why did you stop playing?
Boy: Because there is something much better than my Xbox.....
Girl: *Blushes*
Boy: Turns on PS4.
My boyfriend said that he wanted to get into my pants.
Turns out he's a cross-dresser.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend told me my stutter is cute
I told him to f-f-f-f**... off
My boyfriend cheated on me
So I convinced him to get matching tattoos... he went first and I went home
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Putin's boyfriend say when he wants s**...?
Putin, Putitin
Boyfriend asked me to put a few planks of wood together...
Nailed it!
My boyfriend is the best cook
With only two nuts, a sausage and some milk he can fill my stomach for 9 months.
I'd like to thank my boyfriend for translating "mucho" for me
It means a lot
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does it mean when your boyfriend is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
A boyfriend and a girlfriend are taking on New Year's Eve
Girlfriend: What'cha doin'?
Boyfriend: Watching the ball drop on my laptop.
Girlfriend: Cool. What's your New Year's resolution?
Boyfriend: 1080p
Why is Sophia's boyfriend so smart?
Because he's a philosopher
I should've known my boyfriend was a communist.
There were plenty of red flags.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend looked so excited when I told him I was going to get him an e**... for his birthday!
I couldn't understand why he looked so disappointed when I handed him the keys to his new Ford
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Last 3 Boyfriends gossip
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing the boyfriends they've had in the last year.
One girl says "The last 3 boyfriends I've had, I've named after soda pops. The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up.
The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do.
The third I called Jack Daniels. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. Isn't Jack Daniels hard liquor?"
The girl smiles and says "Yes it is"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend wanted a t**... with Dwayne Johnson.
It was fun, but I wish we had gone a little slower with it, because I found myself between a Rock and a hard place pretty quickly.
I can't believe my sister's new boyfriend is black..
I mean.. She said she met him at work..
I want my boyfriend to treat me like a textbook
spend a lot of money on me and then never touch me after
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend and I both drive Hondas.
He's got one of those boxy ones, and mine is a mid-size sedan. And neither of us has our own place, so we mostly end up just having s**... inside the car. His is a little bigger, so we usually use his.
Recently, however, he's been wanting to experiment a little bit, and he's saying we should try some things out while having s**... on top of his car, instead of inside it.
But if I'm gonna have s**... with my boyfriend in a way that's out of his Element, it will have to be on my own Accord.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend got a s**... change without telling me...
Woah-man!
My boyfriend called me and told me to go over to his house as no one was home....
I snuck over to his house....no one was home.
I don't need a boyfriend.
No boyfriend = No problem
No girlfriend = No expenses
My boyfriend left me because of my anxiety issues...
Oh, wait. He just went to the kitchen to grab some coffee.
My boyfriend and I used to argue over the duvet.
I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish and he liked to sleep with a blonde lady called Leanne.
My boyfriend and I met on the internet!
My boyfriend and I met on the internet. My mother asked him what line he used on me and my boyfriend replied, I just used a modem.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend spent the whole day at the s**... bank.
He didn't come back home
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend is such a d**.... He tried to hold the door for me.
"What's wrong with that?"
"It was a revolving door."
My boyfriend asked me if I have both kidneys.
Turns out he just wanted me for my body.
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring
The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.
I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
My boyfriend wanted to roleplay as a barista
I ordered a long black but he gave me a short americano
My boyfriend broke up with me
He called himself a loan wolf and I'm not good with finances.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
My boyfriend asked me why I like showering in boiling hot water
I told him a snack tastes better cooked.
My boyfriend suggested that we should get Mexican food for dinner tonight
I thought it sounded like a good ques-idea
Boyfriend and boy friend are different.
Because the space in between is called friendzone.
What did Hermione's boyfriend do when he heard she was pregnant?
He ron off.
Mary's boyfriend called Mary on her birthday...
Mary - m boyfriend - b
b: hey honey
m: hey
b:do you remember that mall we went to last month?
m : yes?
b : and you saw a jewelry shop there?
m : yes?
b : and you really wanted that ring?
m (starting to get a bit exited) : yes?
b : but we didn't get it cause we couldn't afford it back then?
m (getting really exited) : yes?
b : well, there's a MacDonald's in front of it, you want some nuggets?
When she says "I want a boyfriend exactly like you, but not you.", which zone am I in?
For example zone
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend just called me a p**...
Because I'm an empty vessel.
My boyfriend just told me he's asexual
I'm not taking it hard.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend is k**... me out of his house for constantly singing lyrics from "Take on me"
He said he's giving me the weekend to move all my stuff out, and he asked me when I would be able to finally leave, so I replied with "I'll be gone in a day or two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boyfriend is ending it up with his girlfriend on the phone......
Him: Babe, I'm breaking off with you. Your father threatened me yesterday.
Her: oh no! What did he say to you?
Him: he said "If you see my daughter ever again, I'll get a 12 inch iron rod and heat up half of it red hot and put the cold half up your a**..."
Her: why the cold half??
Him: so I won't be able to take it out!!
My boyfriend got diagnosed with diabetes.
Now he wants me to call him my sugar daddy.
What do you do if your boyfriend hates fruit jokes?
You let the ManGo!
My boyfriend just left me because I have anxiety attacks.
My boyfriend never gets my fruit puns
Perhaps I should let this mango.
My boyfriend said I have daddy issues
That's hilarious because I never even met the man!
My boyfriend doesn't know me at all, he keeps giving me birds as gifts, and I don't understand it. Should we break up?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend was breaking up with me and started to walk out the door
So I jammed my knee into his stomach.
You can't leave, I kneed you
My Boyfriend said I'm starting to annoy him because I relate everything to Batman….
What a joker!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend asked me if girls ever pee in the shower. I said "yeah, they do. Sometimes I do by accident."
"what do you mean, by accident?"
"relax. Sometimes it happens when you're having a s**...."
My boyfriend likes to keep the house freezing.
I hate it because I'm always cold, but he gave me a suggestion. He said to stand in the corner since it's usually 90 degrees over there.
My boyfriend is upset that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
I ask my boyfriend where do you wanna go for the holidays. He said somewhere I've never been before
i said try the gym
My boyfriend is like the forest floor
Nuts and leaves
A boyfriend and girlfriend die at the same time and go to heaven
They go up to see St. Peter on the pearly gates. They ask him Can we get married in heaven?
St. Peter says Hold on, I'll check.
The couple wait 72 hours and then finally St. Peter comes back and says Yes, you can get married in heaven.
The couple then asks What about a divorce?
St. Peter replies I just spent 3 days finding a minister. Do you have any idea how long it's gonna take to find a lawyer?
My boyfriend is an atheist and treats me like a goddess
He acts like I don't exist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend asked me who my favorite vampire is...
I said, I don't have one, they all s**....
My boyfriend made a save in a soccer game.
That's how I knew he was a keeper.
