Boy Scout Jokes
72 boy scout jokes and hilarious boy scout puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boy scout that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Boy Scout Short Jokes
Short boy scout jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boy scout humour may include short girl scout jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns? One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'
- A Boy Scout decided to start a business fixing horns on cars and trucks… He called it "Beep Repaired."
- The Boy Scouts came up with the strongest knot in the world... You just leave a pair of earbuds in your pocket while you're hiking.
- I heard they're letting girls join the boy scouts now. They're going to help the boys pitch a tent.
- My son was worried about going to a Boy Scouts meeting for the first time... I told him he had knotting to worry about.
- Why did it take three Boy Scouts to help the little old lady cross the road? Because she didn't want to go.
- Him: "Why do you always have to correct everything I say? What are you, trying to earn your Pedantry Badge in Boy Scouts or something?" Me: "It's actually a pin, not a badge..."
- Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior? They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire
- this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs* - An ex-boy scout leader goes shopping for food.. He gets home and opens his bag of beef jerky..
"Tastes like boy scouts," he said. - As a Boy Scout, I failed my cooking badge. I kept eating the Brownies before they were ready.
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Boy Scout One Liners
Which boy scout one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boy scout? I can suggest the ones about scout and girl scout cookies.
- When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first brownie
- How are socks like Boy Scouts? They always come pre-paired.
- Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts? He hates camping
- I gave an annoying boy scout two ropes and asked him "Can you knot?"
- I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts... ...for eating a Brownie.
- How was Boy Scout camp? Intents
- My son went on a camping adventure with the Boy Scouts group He told me it was in tents.
- Why don't Boy Scouts sell cookies? Because who would buy a cookie with BS on the box.
- How do you get kicked out of the Boy-scouts? Eating a brownie.
- Why can't Boy Scouts be MLG? Because they're campers.
- Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous? Me: Not unless it's named Ted Cruz
- What do you call a Jewish Boy Scout? A happy camper.
- I'm sick of this boy scouts training. It drives me knots
- The Boy Scouts are kinda like Adobe flash player Way too many patches
- What do you call your first time drinking and driving? An Indian boy scout patch
Cheerful Boy Scout Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about boy scout you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soldier guy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boy scout pranks.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Worlds Smartest Man, Worlds Strongest Man, a Preacher and a Boyscout
...are all on a plane and it's about to c**....
Problem is there is only 3 parachutes.
So...
The worlds smartest man grabs a parachute and says, "I'm the worlds smartest man, I can solve many problems and find solutions for the future of humanity". He jumps out the plane.
The worlds strongest man grabs a parachute and says, "I'm the worlds strongest man, I am a role model to many, and I can save many lives by just aspiring people by my physique". He jumps out the plane
With one parachute remaining, the preacher looks at the boy scout and says, "I've led a very good life my son, take the last parachute, God will take care of me"
The boy scout looks at the preacher and says, "We both can jump! The worlds smartest man grabbed my backpack!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The President, the First Lady, a boy scout and a pilot are on a plane.
(Not sure if this one has been submitted already)
Suddenly, a bird gets stuck in one of the engines, causing it to burst into flames. The pilot tells the passengers that the plane will c**..., but there are only 3 parachutes on the plane.
The president grabs one and says, "I am the most important man in the country! The people need me!" and quickly jumps out of the plane.
The first lady grabs another parachute and says, "How will the president be able to manage his children without his wife?" and jumps out of the plane as well.
Now, only the boy scout and the pilot are on the plane. The pilot says, "You should go. You have more of your life ahead of you than I do. Go on and change the world."
The boy scout says, "We can both go, there are two parachutes left!"
"Huh? How is that possible? There were only 3 parachutes!"
"The president took my backpack. C'mon, lets go now!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's black and blue and hates s**...?
The boy scout in my trunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Call of Duty is like the Boy Scouts,
everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't
Come home from camp
A scout master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert? he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.
Yes, Davey, what are the three most important things you would bring with you? asked the scout master.
Davey replied, A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.
Why is that, Davey? asked the scout master.
Well, answered Davey, the compass is to find the right direction, and the water is to prevent dehydration.
And what about the deck of cards? asked the scout master impatiently.
Davey replied, Well, sir, as soon as you start playing solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten.'
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
What did the pack leader say to the white girl trying to get into Boy Scouts?
Can you knot?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A priest is walking through the woods at night
He is stopped by a policeman. The priest asks, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" The policeman replies, "A Boy Scout was abducted in the area, and we are looking for a potential child m**...." The priest thinks for a second, and says, "I'll do it."
A man decided to rest after taking a drive...
And goes to sleep in his car. Minutes later a cyclist knocks on his window, waking him up and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what the time is?".The man replies, Sorry, I don't know the time." After going back to sleep, he is awoken again by a jogger, who asks, "Sorry, but do you know what the time is?". The man, quite annoyed, says " I don't know what the time is!" After the jogger leaves, them man makes a sign saying "I do not know what the time is!", leaves it in his window and goes back to sleep. Then, again there is a knock on the window and standing there is a Scout. "What is it you want?", asks the man. The boy replies, "The time's 5:43."
My brother used to be a Boy Scout...
I just wish they wouldn't have taught him how to tie a noose
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a jew and...
...Do you know what's the difference between a jew and a boy scaut?
A boy scout comes back from a camp.
My car horn hasn't worked for a long time.
Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, "Beep repaired!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park...
A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park. They both watched with interest as a troop of boy scouts marched by on a nature walk. Through the side of his mouth, the priest murmurs to the Rabbi, "I'd sure like to screw those boys over there..."
To which the Rabbi replies, "Screw them out of what?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American, A Canadian and a Boy scout are on a plane.
The plane hits turbulence and is about to c**....
the pilot comes out and says "The plane is going down. Everyone for himself!" grabs one of the remaining 3 parachutes and jumps out.
The American says. "We're number 1 so i get to live" hastily grabs 1 of the 2 remaining chutes and jumps out.
The Canadian looks at the boyscout and says "Im sorry things have to end this way... who gets the last parachute?"
The boyscout replies
"oh dont worry, the American grabbed my backpack"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL h**... was a big fan of the Boy Scouts.
In fact, he wrote a book about it titled *Mein Kampfire*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What the diffrence between a boy scout and a jew?
The boy scout comes home from camp
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I would never want to join the Boy Scouts of America
They're just a bunch of BS
No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.
What do you tell a boy scout who has finally learned to build his own fire by hand?
Conflagrations!
Pixar movies over the years
What if toys had feelings?
What if bugs had feelings?
What if monsters had feelings?
What if fish had feelings?
What if superheroes had feelings?
What if cars had feelings?
What if rats had feelings?
What if robots hadd feelings?
What if boy scouts had feelings?
What if gingers had feelings?
What if feelings had feelings?
What if dinosaurs had feelings?
What if Mexicans had feelings?
Apparently the boy scouts do accept gay members.
When I asked for proof, they said, "Webelo you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross a road with an old lady?
A Boy Scouts badge.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between a boy scout and someone in auschwitz?
Only the scout gets to leave the camp.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Boy Scouts and b**... fetishists have in common?
Knot a lot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You hear the one about the incontinent boy scout?
s**... intense.
A scout master and a Boy Scout are walking in to the woods
The sun is setting and the Boy Scout looks up and says, it's starting to get dark, I'm scared. The scout master responds you think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Captain's Drink
Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"
America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly "irate"?
Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate"
the boy scout
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "The horn quit working on my car," the guy tells the bartender. "I was going to take it to the shop, but this boy scout down the road said he fixed cars as a hobby and offered to do it. Hey, here he is already." The boy scout walks into the bar and hands the car keys back to the guy. "Beep repaired," the boy scout says.
