Boy Scout Jokes
79 boy scout jokes and hilarious boy scout puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boy scout that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Boy Scout Short Jokes
Short boy scout jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boy scout humour may include short girl scout jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns? One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'
- A Boy Scout decided to start a business fixing horns on cars and trucks… He called it "Beep Repaired."
- What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person? The Boy Scout comes home from camp.
^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry. - The Boy Scouts came up with the strongest knot in the world... You just leave a pair of earbuds in your pocket while you're hiking.
- I heard they're letting girls join the boy scouts now. They're going to help the boys pitch a tent.
- My son was worried about going to a Boy Scouts meeting for the first time... I told him he had knotting to worry about.
- Why did it take three Boy Scouts to help the little old lady cross the road? Because she didn't want to go.
- What's the difference between a jew and... ...Do you know what's the difference between a jew and a boy scaut?
A boy scout comes back from a camp. - Why are Boy Scouts such great murderers? Because they leave no trace.
- Him: "Why do you always have to correct everything I say? What are you, trying to earn your Pedantry Badge in Boy Scouts or something?" Me: "It's actually a pin, not a badge..."
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Boy Scout One Liners
Which boy scout one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boy scout? I can suggest the ones about scout and girl scout cookies.
- When does a cub become a boy scout? When he eats his first brownie
- What did the boy scout do that the jewish boy couldn't Come home from camp
- Call of Duty is like the Boy Scouts, everyone's gay, and there's a lot of camping.
- How are socks like Boy Scouts? They always come pre-paired.
- Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts? He hates camping
- I gave an annoying boy scout two ropes and asked him "Can you knot?"
- I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts... ...for eating a Brownie.
- How was Boy Scout camp? Intents
- What the diffrence between a boy scout and a jew? The boy scout comes home from camp
- My son went on a camping adventure with the Boy Scouts group He told me it was in tents.
- I would never want to join the Boy Scouts of America They're just a bunch of BS
- When I was younger, I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts I ate a Brownie.
- Why don't Boy Scouts sell cookies? Because who would buy a cookie with BS on the box.
- How do you get kicked out of the Boy-scouts? Eating a brownie.
- Why can't Boy Scouts be MLG? Because they're campers.
Cheerful Boy Scout Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about boy scout you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soldier guy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boy scout pranks.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a boy scout?
A boyscout who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
What's the difference between a Boy-Scout and a Jew? Boy-Scouts get to leave camp.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...
The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
When does a Boy Scout become an Eagle Scout
When he eats a Brownie
What do you call your first time drinking and driving?
An Indian boy scout patch
What's black and blue and hates s**...?
The boy scout in my trunk.
An ex-boy scout leader goes shopping for food..
He gets home and opens his bag of beef jerky..
"Tastes like boy scouts," he said.
The Boy Scouts are kinda like Adobe flash player
Way too many patches
A scout master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert? he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc. Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand.
Yes, Davey, what are the three most important things you would bring with you? asked the scout master.
Davey replied, A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards.
Why is that, Davey? asked the scout master.
Well, answered Davey, the compass is to find the right direction, and the water is to prevent dehydration.
And what about the deck of cards? asked the scout master impatiently.
Davey replied, Well, sir, as soon as you start playing solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten.'
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
What did the pack leader say to the white girl trying to get into Boy Scouts?
Can you knot?
A priest is walking through the woods at night
He is stopped by a policeman. The priest asks, "What seems to be the problem, officer?" The policeman replies, "A Boy Scout was abducted in the area, and we are looking for a potential child m**...." The priest thinks for a second, and says, "I'll do it."
I'm sick of this boy scouts training.
It drives me knots
yoga + boy scouting = concentration camps
A man decided to rest after taking a drive...
And goes to sleep in his car. Minutes later a cyclist knocks on his window, waking him up and asks, "Excuse me, do you know what the time is?".The man replies, Sorry, I don't know the time." After going back to sleep, he is awoken again by a jogger, who asks, "Sorry, but do you know what the time is?". The man, quite annoyed, says " I don't know what the time is!" After the jogger leaves, them man makes a sign saying "I do not know what the time is!", leaves it in his window and goes back to sleep. Then, again there is a knock on the window and standing there is a Scout. "What is it you want?", asks the man. The boy replies, "The time's 5:43."
My brother used to be a Boy Scout...
I just wish they wouldn't have taught him how to tie a noose
Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?
Me: Not unless it's named Ted Cruz
My car horn hasn't worked for a long time.
Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, "Beep repaired!"
A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park...
A priest and a rabbi were sitting on a bench at the park. They both watched with interest as a troop of boy scouts marched by on a nature walk. Through the side of his mouth, the priest murmurs to the Rabbi, "I'd sure like to screw those boys over there..."
To which the Rabbi replies, "Screw them out of what?"
An American, A Canadian and a Boy scout are on a plane.
The plane hits turbulence and is about to c**....
the pilot comes out and says "The plane is going down. Everyone for himself!" grabs one of the remaining 3 parachutes and jumps out.
The American says. "We're number 1 so i get to live" hastily grabs 1 of the 2 remaining chutes and jumps out.
The Canadian looks at the boyscout and says "Im sorry things have to end this way... who gets the last parachute?"
The boyscout replies
"oh dont worry, the American grabbed my backpack"
TIL h**... was a big fan of the Boy Scouts.
In fact, he wrote a book about it titled *Mein Kampfire*
What do you call a Jewish Boy Scout?
A happy camper.
Why are Boy Scouts safest when travelling with a senior?
They'll always have dry wood on hand to start a fire
- this came to me in a dream... maybe it should have stayed there? *shrugs*
My car horn hasn't worked in a while...
I ended up having a boy scout from my church fix it and all he said was "Beep repaired."
No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.
What do you tell a boy scout who has finally learned to build his own fire by hand?
Conflagrations!
As a Boy Scout, I failed my cooking badge.
I kept eating the Brownies before they were ready.
Pixar movies over the years
What if toys had feelings?
What if bugs had feelings?
What if monsters had feelings?
What if fish had feelings?
What if superheroes had feelings?
What if cars had feelings?
What if rats had feelings?
What if robots hadd feelings?
What if boy scouts had feelings?
What if gingers had feelings?
What if feelings had feelings?
What if dinosaurs had feelings?
What if Mexicans had feelings?
Apparently the boy scouts do accept gay members.
When I asked for proof, they said, "Webelo you."
Boy Scout: Sir, the lads and I found a snake. Is it poisonous?
Me: No, this snake is not poisonous at all.
* one of them picks up the snake, which bites him. He begins to spasm and foam at the mouth.*
Me: However, this snake is very venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time.
What do you get when you cross a road with an old lady?
A Boy Scouts badge.
Whats the difference between a boy scout and someone in auschwitz?
Only the scout gets to leave the camp.
What do Boy Scouts and b**... fetishists have in common?
Knot a lot.
You hear the one about the incontinent boy scout?
s**... intense.
A scout master and a Boy Scout are walking in to the woods
The sun is setting and the Boy Scout looks up and says, it's starting to get dark, I'm scared. The scout master responds you think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone
The Captain's Drink
Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"
America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly "irate"?
Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate"
the boy scout
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "The horn quit working on my car," the guy tells the bartender. "I was going to take it to the shop, but this boy scout down the road said he fixed cars as a hobby and offered to do it. Hey, here he is already." The boy scout walks into the bar and hands the car keys back to the guy. "Beep repaired," the boy scout says.
Why does nobody like playing FPS games with Boy Scouts?
Because they're good at camping.
(Credit goes to the Scout's Life magazine I got today for making one of the worst scout jokes I've ever seen.)
