Boy Jokes

152 boy jokes and hilarious boy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article has it all! Get ready for a night of laughter with our collection of hilarious jokes about altar boys, lady boys, frat boys, lassies, sweeties and lads! Read through our selection of jokes and prepare to roll on the floor laughing!

Funniest Boy Short Jokes

Short boy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boy humour may include short lass jokes also.

  1. A boy asked his Bitcoin-investing dad... ...for $10.00 worth of Bitcoin currency.
    Dad: $9.67? What do you need $10.32 for?
  2. Why did elon musk choose SpaceX to land on mars? Because if he chose SpaceY he'd land on 14 year old boys.
  3. My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."
  4. Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
  5. My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila. You're coming home now! she screamed.
    No, I'm not, I laughed.
    She said, I'm talking to the kids.
  6. Boy: What's a palindrome?
    Teacher: racecar
    {10 years later}
    Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
    Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
  7. When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen. I was touched.
  8. You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant, If it floats it's boy ant.
  9. A boy asks his father Dad, what does 'gay' mean? Father: It means 'to be happy'.
    Son: Are you gay?
    Father: No, son. I have a wife.
  10. What is the difference between BTS and Logan Paul? BTS is a boy band from Asia; Logan Paul is a boy banned from Asia.

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Boy One Liners

Which boy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boy? I can suggest the ones about sweetie and lad.

  1. I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms leg.
  2. What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!
  3. What did the boy with no arms get for his birthday ? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet
  4. MOM! I'm being called gay in school. Who is calling you that son?
    A bunch of cute boys.
  5. How did Kevin Spacey find the little boy in all the Tall grass? Satisfying.
  6. As a young boy my mom would always tuck me in at night She always wanted a girl.
  7. If you Google "lost mediaeval servant boy" You get "This page cannot be found".
  8. How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy.
  9. You know what separates the men from the boys? Social services.
  10. You call it necrophilia.... But I call it cracking open a cold one with the boys.
  11. What did the Indian boy say to his mom before he left? Mumbai.
  12. "It's a boy! " Frank exclaimed. "It's a boy!" And he never visited Bangkok ever again.
  13. What is a vampire's favourite thing to do? Crack open a boy with the cold ones.
  14. I just flew back from a Transformers convention And boy are my arms tires
  15. How did the priest find the little boy in the tall grass? Delightful

About A Boy Jokes

Here is a list of funny about a boy jokes and even better about a boy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between Thailand and America? Thailand reunites boys with their families.
  • When I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner, she said with a straight face, "uncooked boys." Ramen. Took me second, but I was much relieved when I figured it out.
  • Avril Lavigne could have just called her song Skater boy instead of Sk8er Boi. Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?
  • A man is washing his car with his son... ...after a while the boy says to his Father Dad, why can't we just use a sponge?
  • I'm glad the cave rescue is complete.... Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results
  • A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!
    They named him Ravi O. Lee
  • What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a guy who fixes bicycle horns? One's motto is 'Be Prepared', the other's is 'Beep Repaired'
  • If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy" Credit to my friend Chris
  • What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.
  • My wife is pregnant with a boy and i want to call him Lance My wife said its such an uncommon name.
    So i told her back in medievil days people were called Lance a lot

Little Boy Jokes

Here is a list of funny little boy jokes and even better little boy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
    He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
    I said, "Your parents."
  • When I was a little boy, my dad taught me that any little boy or girl, even me, could grow up and become President someday... I'm starting to believe him.
  • What do you call a little boy made of pasta who comes to life? Pi-gnocchi-o
    (I really wish you could hear how hard I'm laughing to myself)
  • A man just released from prison was walking down the street shouting, "I'm free! I'm free!"... A little boy yelled back at him, "that's nothing, I'm four!"
  • Why does Japan have a low obesity rate and a low birth rate? They don't like Fat Man and Little Boy
  • Why is the birthrate in Japan so low? Last time they had a little boy, 66,000 people died.
  • When Mary had a baby boy, the wise men weren't surprised... ...but you should have seen their eyes when she had the little lamb.
  • Little Boy: Daddy I want to be like president Trump when i grow up! Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both"
  • A little boy asks grandpa to make a noise like a frog. Grandpa asks why? Because mummy said the moment you croak is when we're all going to Disneyland!
  • I saw a lonely little boy sitting all by himself on a swing, so I went over and gave him a push… He still wouldn't get off, so I punched him.

Girl Boy Jokes

Here is a list of funny girl boy jokes and even better girl boy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted
  • Girl: What are your plans for today? Boy: Me and a friend of mine are going to buy some glasses.
    Girl: And after that?
    Boy: And after that we'll see.
  • How can you tell an ant's gender? 1. Get a glass full of water
    2. Throw the ant into the glass
    3. If it sinks, it's girl ant
    4. If it floats, it's boy ant
  • Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys Well not to brag or anything but
    I'm bad at everything
  • Is Google a boy or girl? Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas
  • Confucious say, "Is good for girl to meet boy in park... but is better for boy to park meat in girl."
  • A girl asks a boy "What does your dad do for a living?'' He replies "He's a magician."
    She asks "Is he good?"
    He says "Yeah, he disappeared 8 years ago."
  • What's the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti? Meatballs.
    My 10 year old daughter just told me this and I had to share.
  • My 9 year old told me this one. What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti? Meatballs.
    She's so petite and delicate so it was perfectly hilarious.
  • "Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?" "I wanted to pickup a fork that fell on the kitchen floor..."

Boy To Girl Jokes

Here is a list of funny boy to girl jokes and even better boy to girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you tell the difference between a boy ant and a girl ant? Drop the ant in a glass of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant.
    If it floats, it's buoyant.
  • A logician has just given birth. The logicians friend asks her is it a boy or a girl?
    The logician replies yes
  • Is Google a Boy or a Girl? A girl, because it tries to complete your sentences for you, and it *never ever* forgets what you said.
  • Voldemort is like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
  • How to tell ant gender Put the ant in water and if it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, boy ant.
  • Why don't girls have willys... A little boy came running into the kitchen an declared, "Mom, now I know why girls don't have willys! They fall off, and I found yours under your pillow."
  • I asked my boss if I could have time off work because I was having a baby When I came back the boss asked So was it a boy or a girl?
    I said I don't know, I'll tell you in 9 months
  • A little girl and a little boy were sitting in a bathtub together.. The little girl looks down and asks, "can I touch it?" He answers, "NO WAY- YOU ALREADY BROKE YOURS OFF!"
  • Boy and girl in class asked the teacher a question.
    "Can kids of our age have kids?"
    Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
    Boy said to girl :
    "See I told you not to worry!!!!"
  • I used to think I was a boy trapped in a girl's body Lasted bout nine months, I'm fine now.

Altar Boy Jokes

Here is a list of funny altar boy jokes and even better altar boy puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I was an altar boy, Father Murphy always said that I was his favorite and was so much nicer than the other boys... I was touched...
  • Two altar boys are hoping to work in a church. They are walking down the aisle in the church when the priest sees them. He walks up to them and says, "Gee, I've never come across your faces before."
  • How do you castrate the pope? Kick the altar boy in the chin.
  • A priest and a rabbi are at a wedding... the priest sees an altar boy, and says, "man I'd really like to screw him." The rabbi responds by saying, "out of what?"
  • Why do Priests screw altar boys Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god
  • How does a nun get laid? She dresses up like an altar boy.
  • Two nuns at a Catholic Church Two nuns at a Catholic Church near me got pregnant.
    On an unrelated note, they dressed up as altar boys for Halloween.
  • What do wine and altar boys have in common? Catholic priests like them aged eight years
  • How do you castrate a priest? Punch an altar boy in the back of the head
  • How do you get a priest to sleep with a nun? You dress her up like an altar boy

Comedy Boy Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about boy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean flagpole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boy pranks.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys for Thanksgiving, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.
"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.
"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans

I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.
Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.
Me: Pinocchio?
Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"

A boy and his dad are talking.

"Hey Dad."
"Yes son?"
"Did you ever get shot in the army?"
He looks at his son in silence. Tears start to form in the Dad's eyes, and he quietly replies;
"No, but I was shot in the leggy."

My best friend passed away recently, and grieving before his grave I said,

"Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?"
A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he looks a lot like my best friend.
I'm really happy that my prayer worked.

Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

Finally, a blonde joke I haven't heard before…

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
Because I'm the Goalie!


A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months.

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, your brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: deeply sighs Denephew.

An African man visits his friend in the US

I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!
You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.
Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this d**... country .

A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?

I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.

Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either"

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They're disgusted by his haircut, tattoos, and piercings. Later, when he leaves, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."
"Oh, please, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

A boy excitedly reports to his miserly father...

"Papa!" the boy exclaims. "Instead of buying a bus ticket, I ran home behind the bus and saved a dollar!"
The father immediately slaps the child. "Spendthrift!" he screams. "You could have run home behind a taxi and saved twenty!"

A 3 year old boy examined his t**... in bath

Mom He asked Are these my brains
Not yet She replied

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They're appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.
The boy leaves and the girl's mom remarks, Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy.
* Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service? *


An 8-year-old choir boy catches the priest m**....
He said, "What are you doing father?"
"It's called m**...," the priest replied. "You'll be doing this soon."
"Why father?" he asked.
"Because my wrist is killing me," the priest replied.

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

Pope Francis, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.

They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane. 
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. 
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.  
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.

A scrawny teenage boy asks his muscular friend how he gets so many girls to sleep with him.

The muscular friend says, "Here's what you do: next time there's a party, get a large potato and stick it down your pants and act normal. You'll see - that'll turn you into a chick magnet."
A minute later, all the girls at the party run away from the scrawny kid, screaming and laughing and pointing.
The muscular friend sees this and comes over to his scrawny friend. "Dude," he says. "You have to put the potato in the front."

I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!" He replied, "Of course! Take the afternoon off." When I returned to work the next day, he came to my desk, smiled and asked, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?" I shrugged, "I don't know..."

"I'll tell you in nine months!"

Why did the Proud Boy check on his sad friend?

To make sure his friend was feeling... alt-right.
Feel free to downvote me to reddit h**......

A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."

One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.
"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.
"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."

My wife minored in psychology. She's always using all her amateur psychology when we argue.

When I fired the pool boy, she said, "Well, you know, you're only firing him because he's so young and good looking, and you feel threatened and insecure, because it reminds you of your own mortality, and you're projecting all these insecurities onto someone else in a very passive/aggressive way, because these feelings are just too traumatic for you to deal with."
I said, "Honey...we don't have a pool."

A boy paid a girl $10 to climb a flagpole...

She agrees and climbs the flagpole. When she gets home she tells her mother what happened. Her mother said "honey, he just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same boy was standing by the flagpole and said "I will give you $20 to climb the flagpole." Again she agrees and climbs. She goes home and tells her mother "mom the boy paid me to climb the flagpole again, but I outsmarted him this time. I didn't wear any underwear."

Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?

Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 10 months

The woman asked the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're both fine. And, your brother named them for you.
Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Ohh, that's actually a nice name. What about the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.

I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.

"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

A Russian boy asks his dad for 1000 rubles to buy some candy from the store

His dad replies 1000 rubles? 1600 rubles is way too much to spend on candy. How much candy can 2300 rubles even buy?

Old German joke

An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."

A boy asked his father, "Dad, what does gay mean?"

"It means happy son." Replied the father.
Then the boy asked, "Then Dad, are you gay?"
"No son, I am married." the father replied.

Vladimir Putin visits a school...

He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". "Mother Russia of course!", says the boy. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". "You, great president!", replies the girl. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, what do you want to be when you grow up?". The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "An orphan!".

A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project

For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.

A little boy caught his mom riding his dad.

The little boy said, Mom what are you doing?
She said, Son, your daddy's stomach is too big so I sit on top to flatten it out.
He said, Aw momma you're wasting your time because when you're not here the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up!

Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.

Concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"

It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face.

We never went back to Thailand.

"Craig, I caught your son playing 'doctor' with my daughter!"

"Oh lord, that kid. My boy didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?"
"I'll say! The co-pay he charged was outrageous!"

"It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room.

And never visited Bangkok again.

A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.

But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"
"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."

A boy walks in on his dad m**......

He asks him, "Daddy what are you doing?"
His dad responds, "Don't worry son, you'll be doing it soon."
The boy then asks, "Why's that daddy?"
His dad answers, "Because my arms getting tired.."

The little black jewish boy...

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black? The dad replies, Why do you want to know, son? Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!

A young lady from my office just sent me an email

saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"
Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?

I was in bed with this r**... girl when her father, her brother and her boyfriend busted in the room...

....and boy was he mad.

A boy asks his dad a question

A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"
The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."

I woman had just given birth to a baby boy...

The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the f**... to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him c**...-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"

As my daughter was walking out the door to go on her first date, in my best grumpy old tough guy dad voice, I growled, "I want her home before midnight." The boy she was going with stopped dead in his tracks, turned slowly around and with wide eyes replied....

"But you already own her home!"

A young boy is bathing with his mother

Boy says, Whats that hairy thing mom?
Mom replies, That is my sponge.
Oh yes, says the boy, The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it.

Three boys were talking after school...

Three boys were talking after school while waiting for their fathers to pick them up. The first one boasts: "My dad is a Formula One driver. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:15."
The second boy says: "That's nothing. My dad is a jet pilot. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:05!"
The last boy looks at his companions and says: "Pfff.... amateurs! My dad works for the government. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 4:45!"

A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?"

His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black."

A blond Joke I've only heard once before.

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun k**... a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
'You ok?' she says.
'Yes.' he says.
You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'No, it's probably best I stay here.' he says.
'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
"Because I'm the Goalie!"

A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".
The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."

An old man is dying..

His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.

A woman wakes up from a coma and...

A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew

Which bible verse does a priest say often to the altar boy?

**Psalm 81:10.**

**....** open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

Boy: [kissing g**... couch] you wanna take this upstairs?

Girl: He-he, sure baby.
Boy: Awesome! Grab the other end, and try not to scuff the banister.

A middle school boy comes home crying...

His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"

Why does everyone assume that just because I'm a 40 year old loser that I live in my parent's basement?

My parents don't have a basement. I live in my bedroom like a big boy.

jokes about boy