box Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious box puns

PETA is like a box of chocolates

They kill dogs

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The doctor said my voice box is damaged and I may never speak again.

I can't tell you how upset I am.

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I went up to this really cute homeless girl and asked if I could take her home

She looked ecstatic until I picked up her box and started walking away

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Why didn't barbie ever get pregnant?

Because Ken always came in another box.

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Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolate

They'll kill your dog

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Police are like a box of chocolates....

They'll kill your dog.

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I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.

"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"

"To buy groceries," I told him.

"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."

He shrugged and paused.

"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many fuckin' security cameras."

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There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying

I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted

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My daughter asked me today:"Dad, What is sex?"

I had feared this moment would come and didn't think it would come this soon but nevertheless I was prepared.
So I sat her down and explained it all. The birds and the bees, the different sexual orientations, all the positions and of course I had to mention all the STD's and the rules of safe sex.
When I finished she looked at me shocked and confused:
"So... which box should I check on this form? Male or Female?"

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How come Barbie never got pregnant?

Because Ken always came in another box.

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I met a pretty girl.

Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.

The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.

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Life is like a box of chocolates

It doesn't last as long for the obese.

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People think that just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, i should walk around carrying a big ol' boom box on my shoulder.

But I refuse to go with that stereotype.

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I asked a pretty homeless woman...

I asked a pretty homeless women if I could take her home, she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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Fifty Shades got $47 Million at the box office...

There seems to be a lot of women who don't get offended by a billionaire grabbing a girl by the pussy.

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I asked a homeless girl if I could take her home.

She smiled and said yes! But seemed very surprised when I took her cardboard box and walked away.

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Why does Barbie never get pregnant?

Because Ken always comes in another box.

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what's the difference between a black man and a box of donuts?

One of them's already full of holes before the cops see them.

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A bounty hunter rides into town with a completely sealed box.

He goes up the the mayor, holds up the bounty, and says, I've got your bandit just as you requested 'dead and alive'.

The mayor says, not 'dead AND alive', 'dead OR alive'.

The bounty hunter looks at the bounty and then at the box and then at the mayor, and says, I guess we should open the box then.

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A blonde is putting together a puzzle. She is very frustrated and asks her husband for help.

"It's supposed to be a tiger!" she cries.

"Honey," says her husband wearily, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

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I was digging a hole in my backyard...

I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold coins. In my excitement I ran back in the house to tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole.

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Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

It said 2-4 years on the box.

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Two young boys go to a store

They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."

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Women are like a box of chocolates

I'm always stuck with the one's nobody wants.

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What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?

The whites are useless.

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I saw this cute homeless girl on the street..

..so I asked her if I could take her home. She smiled and said "sure", boy the look on her face when I walked off with her cardboard box...

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Husband on second day of marriage :-

He went to the makeup artist who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iphone X box.

Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100.

Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"

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EXTRA-LARGE CONDOMS

A woman asks the pharmacist if he sells extra-large condoms.
The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"
The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait to see if anyone buys a box?"

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A man went to the register with only a box of condoms.

The cashier asked 'Sir, do you want a bag?'

He replied 'No thanks, she's not that ugly'

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Three guys in a cell are just starting life sentences...

The first guy pulls out a deck of cards and says, "We're going to be here a long time, so when we get bored we can play poker."

The second guy says, "Great idea. I brought a harmonica, so when we get sad I can play a song to cheer us up."

The third guy pulls out a box of tampons. "What the hell are they for?" ask the first two guys.

"Well, it says on the back that I can ride, swim, ski, *and* play tennis with these."

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A blonde is working on a puzzle...

She calls her husband over and says, "This is the hardest jigsaw puzzle I've ever seen in my whole life!"

The husband responds, "What do you mean, honey?"

She says, "Well there's a picture of a tiger on the box, but looking at all these pieces, I don't see how in the world this is going to ever make picture of a tiger."

The husband says, "That's alright honey, let's just put all the cereal back in the box."

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the homeless woman

I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.

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Why is the Toblerone chocolate shaped like a triangle?

So that it'll fit inside the box.

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Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?

As he was finishing eating, she asked "Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?

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Help Requested: A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl.

A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super bowl. They are box seats plus airfares and hotel accommodations. He didn't realize when he bought them that this is the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.


If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church in New York City at 5 PM. Her name is Donna. She will be the one in the white dress.

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What are the most funny Box jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Box? Well, here are the best Box dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Box pick up lines to share with friends.

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