Bowl Jokes
152 bowl jokes and hilarious bowl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bowl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out this roundup of bowl jokes! From the Super Bowl to the dust bowl, this collection of jokes about bowls of all kinds is sure to make you chuckle. So grab your ladle and get ready for a hearty helping of bowl-shaped hilarity!
Quick Jump To
- Short Bowl Jokes
- Bowl One Liners
- Super Bowl Jokes
- Toilet Bowl Jokes
- Iron Bowl Jokes
- Lawn Bowl Jokes
- More Bowl Jokes
Funniest Bowl Short Jokes
Short bowl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bowl humour may include short bowel jokes also.
- These bowling Green Massacre jokes are too soon Out of respect, we should at least wait until it takes place.
- I think the most patriotic part of the entire super bowl was Rihanna's halftime performance Because there's nothing more American than for a woman to work while she's pregnant.
- How to determine the gender of your cat ? pour some milk in a bowl and place it next to the cat, if she drinks it, your cat is a female, but if he drinks it, the cat is a male
- My wife asked me: "Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home." I replied: " I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"
- After winning the game, I threw the ball into the crowd just like they do on TV. Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.
- What is Chipotle most known for? - A. steak Bowls
- B. Delicious Tacos
- C. Chips
- D. Burritos
- E. Coli - I think my goldfish likes it when I take him out of his bowl… He sure wags his tail a lot…
- My wife walks into the kitchen Me: it sure is muggy outside
Wife: if you put all the mugs on the porch I'm leaving you
*Sips coffee out of bowl* - What's the difference between my ex and a bowl of spaghetti? Spaghetti wiggles when I eat it.
- It was my son's birthday, so I took 4 of his mates for a burger and then bowling. They had a great time, he would have loved it
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Bowl One Liners
Which bowl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bowl? I can suggest the ones about vase and beaker.
- Super Bowl Halftime At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0
- What do you call fifty guys watching the Super Bowl? The Detroit Lions.
- What did everyone do after the Super Bowl was over? Watch the second half.
- What does a vegetable get in bowling? A-spare-I-guess
- One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Fruit Loops... ...but Toucan.
- My wife asked my if I had seen the dog bowl. I said "I didn't know he could!".
- Why is Michael Jackson bad at bowling? Because He's dead.
- The Minnesota Vikings walk into a bar To watch the Super Bowl
- I already know what the score will be in the Super Bowl before the game even starts. 0-0
- This was the most Superbowlly Super Bowl ever *Super Bowl LI
- Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl? A: Turn off the XBox.
- What did Voldemort say to Peter Pettigrew when they went bowling? *Kill the spare.*
- Anyone see 50 cent perform at the Super Bowl? Inflation is real
- If you missed the ball drop last night.... Just watch FSU in the Rose Bowl
- I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.
Super Bowl Jokes
Here is a list of funny super bowl jokes and even better super bowl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am from the future I can predict the score of the super bowl LVII before it starts... 0-0
- I totally forgot the Super Bowl was tonight! Don't worry; so did the ~~Patriots~~ Falcons.
- Why did the Broncos wear white jerseys in Super Bowl 50? Because it's hard to catch a white bronco in California.
- What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl? He turns off the PlayStation.
- Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich? Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
- "Son, what would happen if neither team won the Super Bowl?" "It's a Tide ad."
- Fun Super Bowl Game: Every time they show Ray Lewis on the screen, stab someone in your party and then deny it was you.
- What do you call a room full of men watching the Super Bowl on a big screen TV? The Patriots
- They said that the Super Bowl was going to be exciting. But that was a LIII.
- What do the Super Bowl and a doctor's office have in common? Aaron Rodgers won't get a shot at either.
Toilet Bowl Jokes
Here is a list of funny toilet bowl jokes and even better toilet bowl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mum, can I lick the bowl? No! Flush the toilet like everyone else.
- The toilet bowl was stolen from the local police precinct last night. The cops have nothing to go on.
- Dogs and toilet I yelled my dog to stop drinking out of the toilet.
Later that day my dog yelled at me for peeing in the water bowl - My girlfriend left stains on the toilet bowl. I thought she'd be easier to flush than that.
- "Daddy, can I lick the bowl?" No, you can flush the toilet like normal kids!
- Phone in rice Once my phone fell in the toilet so I put it in a rice bowl .
That is how you get starving 5 year old chinese kids to fix your phone. - millennial superstitions If your phone drops in the toilet bowl, you will have seven years of frustrating eyebrows.
- What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet bowl you just peed in? Cancer. Cancer is much much worse.
- Mommy, mommy can I lick the bowl out? Noooo...just flush the toilet like a normal person......
- Why do pterodatcyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl late at night? To make the "p" silent
Iron Bowl Jokes
Here is a list of funny iron bowl jokes and even better iron bowl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Breaking news: A man has drowned in a bowl of Cheerios®. Ironically his family didn't get a chance to say goodbye.
- It's ironic that Russell Wilson and Ciara are dating ...to win the Super Bowl, all his team needed was 1 or 2 steps
- Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
- How do you make a grown man bawl his eyes out? Show him a highlight video of the '13 Iron Bowl game.
Lawn Bowl Jokes
Here is a list of funny lawn bowl jokes and even better lawn bowl puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: It sure is muggy outside. My wife: I swear to God, if I look outside and see all of our mugs on the lawn I'm divorcing you.
Me: *sips coffee from a bowl*
Uplifting Bowl Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about bowl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bowl pranks.
So a blonde girl takes her goldfish to the vet...
...and she says to the veterinarian, "Hey, I think my goldfish has epilepsy; it has these awful seizures!"
The veterinarian takes one look at the fish and replies, "Well, it looks alright to me."
The blonde replies angrily, "Well Jesus, let me get it out of the bowl first!"
What's the difference between Notre Dame and Lucky Charms cereal?
One of them belongs in a bowl.
Do you know how to make Notre Dame style eggs?
You put them in a bowl way too big for it...and then beat repeatedly for 3 hours
Why did the bowling pins stop working?
They went on strike!
A homeless man walks by a bar...
He sees a man sitting in front of a steaming bowl of chili. And the homeless man is so hungry he walks inside the bar and tells the man he's very hungry. The man at the bar just shoves the chili over to the homeless man and nods. The homeless man is surprised but starts eating right away, as he gets to the bottom of the bowl he sees a dead mouse. The homeless man throws up the chili back in the bowl. The man at the bar says "I did the same thing ten minutes ago".
The Super Bowl
Surprised to see an empty seat at the Super Bowl, a diehard fan remarked about it to a woman sitting nearby.
"It was my husband's," the woman explained, "but he died."
"I'm very sorry," said the man. "Yet I'm really surprised that another relative, or friend, didnt jump at the chance to take the seat reserved for him."
"Beats me," she said. "They all insisted on going to the f**...."
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
What's the first step in making Bronco cookies?
Beat em in a bowl for three hours.
I was watching the Super Bowl with some friends...
and my fiancee's friend, who isn't very keen on sports, is commenting on the shoe polish streaks under their eyes.
She says "I just don't get it, what do those black things even do?"
I reply, "Well, play football, mostly."
So a tech support has a house call...
When he gets there a little old lady answers the door. She let's him in and tell him to sit on the couch while she gets her laptop. She steps away and the tech notices a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table and helps himself to some while he waits. When she comes back the tech says "I hope you don't mind I ate some of your nuts." The little lady says "Help yourself! I just s**... the chocolate off them anyways."
Confucius say..
Man who stand on toilet bowl, high on p**....
A man is getting ready to go on a business trip...
He has been suspicious of his wife cheating on him. So he places under his bed a spoon attached to a string that hangs on the metal frame with a bowl of milk under it. He measures the weight of his wife in bed alone to make sure it is not in the milk unless there is more weight.
The man leaves and comes home after a few days and looks under his bed to find a bowl of butter.
Why did the elephant paint the bottom of its feet yellow?
So it could hide in a bowl of custard.
Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No?
That means it's working, the crafty b**....
At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch...
So I told a bunch of my friends "I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation."
Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them "Here's the punch line."
This is a completely true story, so I do not regret it.
A bowl of cornflakes walks into a bar
The barman says "get out, we don't serve breakfast here"
A bowling ball jumped off the roof of a tall building.
Looking among the pieces of shattered bowling ball, the Physicist in the crowd regretfully said, "He had so much potential..."
I know I know. I'm not a dad but I teach physics and I've never made up a joke before....
What's the difference between a woman and a bowl of ramen noodles?
A bowl of ramen noodles is actually ready in 5 minutes.
The woman and her chili.
A man walks into a bar and notices a woman sitting at a table. In front of her on the table is a full bowl of chili. Since the man is very hungry, he asks her if he can have her chili. She agrees, giving him the bowl. The man starts to quickly put spoonfuls into his mouth. As he gets to the end of the chili, he sees a dead rat at the bottom. This causes him to v**... back into the bowl.
In response, the woman said: "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."
What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common?
You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back.
A Mother, her daughter, and a bowl of olives...
The mother takes an olive, puts it in her mouth, goes, "mmmmm...", the daughter tries one for the first time, goes "ewww...", mother eats another, again, goes "mmmm...", her daughter tries yet another, then begins to cry. Her mother asks, "why are you crying", her daughter says "you're getting all the good ones"
If you drop your phone in water, put it in a bowl of rice.
At night the Asians will come and fix it for you.
LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight.
When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?
If it ends up on your wall you're probably r**....
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...
A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.
Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."
The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.
The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."
Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"
Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."
Whenever I go bowling....
I enter my name as "3 t**...".
That way, occasionally the monitor says "Congratulations 3 t**...! You got a spare!"
"Mommy, mommy! Can I lick the bowl?"
"No, flush it like everyone else"
I saw my buddy dressed as a bowl of soup...
I didn't know if he was friend or pho.
I always used to ask my mom if I could lick the bowl...
... She'd always say "No! Just flush it like a normal person!"
[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?
Orange Jews from concentrate
Super bowl tickets
A buddy of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfare, accommodation, etc., but he didn't realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can't go.
If you're interested and want to go instead of him, it's at St. Peter's Church, in New York City, at 5 p.m. Her name's Louise. She's 5' 6", about 120 lbs., good cook, makes $130,000 a year! She will be the one in the white dress."
*this was forwarded to me by my dad just now, never heard before, thought was worthwhile for a chuckle.
A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...
And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoyed clerk," we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"
"Well," says the rabbit," in that case I'll just have a bowl of tomato soup."
The clerk is now incensed. "Sir, we don't have food! The sign outside clearly says 'men's clothing store'! Can't you read?"
"Listen, buddy", says the rabbit,"if I could read, I would have asked you for a menu!"
So my cousin s**... up bigtime
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
What's it called when a cat meows for food when their bowl is half full?
Fake Mews
I saw a climate scientist eating pasta out of a pink leather bowl
He was eating carb on dyed ox hide
I asked my mum if I could lick the bowl when she was finished.
She replied "why can't you flush it like everyone else"
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
I went bowling with my daughter.
Next time I'll just use a bowling ball.
A tub, pail, can, basket, canister, vat, kettle, cask, p**..., keg, barrel, and bowl.
I needed to make a bucket list before I die.
"Mummy, can I lick the bowl?"
"No Samantha you can flush like everyone else does"
Me: "Gee honey, it sure is muggy out today!"
Her: "If I walk outside and all of our mugs are on the front porch, I'm leaving you."
Me: *sips coffee from a bowl*
A man is attending the Super Bowl, when he notices an empty seat.
Thinking this to be strange, the man asks the person sitting next to the empty seat if he knows who sits there. The guy replies: Well, I bought two tickets for my wife and I a long time ago, but she passed away. So the man asks: Couldn't you have brought someone else?
"They're all at the f**...."
Smart first grader
A first-grade teacher can't believe her student isn't hepped-up about the Super Bowl. It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?
Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too, says the student.
Well, that's a lousy reason, says the teacher. What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?
Then I'd be a football fan.
I always used to lick the bowl clean.
Until my parents told me to flush it like everyone else.
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2018 Super bowl.
Both box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at St Christopher's Church, in Baldwin at 3pm. Her name is Ashley, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too.....She'll be the one in the white dress.
Yo mama was so fat,
Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Life is like a bowl of soup.
You only get blown if you are hot.
A man lines up for food in Soviet Russia...
After two hours of waiting he gets his turn and offers his bowl.
Out of soup. says the officer in charge and waves him aside.
The man refuses to leave. He tosses the bowl on the table and curses the regime for failing his starving family.
The officer motions to the guards and they wrestle the ranting man away. As they shove him outside, one says to the man:
Back then we could've shot you in the snow, comrade.
The man goes back home to his wife. She sees him looking glum as he walks in and asks:
Ran out of soup again?
Even worse, he replied. They ran out of bullets.
I friend of mine has two tickets to the Super Bowl.
They are box seats, and include travel and hotel accomodation. He didn't realise when he bought the tickets that it was the same date as his wedding - so now he can't go.
So if you're interested and want to go instead of him. It's at St James's Church in Bootle at 3pm. Her name is Susan. She will be the one in the white dress.
Burritos are like blunts
If you cant roll, get a bowl
Daughter: Can I lick the bowl, Mommy?
Mother: No you little freak, get back in there and flush like everyone else.
My girlfriend told me I was disgusting for l**... the bowl after I finished.
I guess she's used to most people just flushing.
A man goes to the Super Bowl but his tickets are for the upper tier. He spots an open seat on the 50-yard line and grabs it.
The guy sitting next to him says, Actually, this seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967.
I'm sorry to hear that, says the first man. Couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?
Nope, replies the second guy. Everyone's at the f**....
Maroon 5
At the Super Bowl
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate?
Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
I was very angry when my waiter served me bowl of dust. But then he pointed out, it's written right there on the menu...
"We only use the finest ingredients"
I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup
That's it, no joke. Don't like it? Pho queue.
A couple of shrimp were at the bar next to me, eating a bowl of fries. I went to ask if I could have one, but the bartender stopped me. "Don't bother," he said, "they won't share.
They're two shellfish."
"A man scored a three hundred and one in bowling."
"How can you bowl a three hundred and one?"
"Well you can't bowl a three hundred and lose!"
What did the one hippie llama say to the other hippie llama?
Alpaca bowl
My Canadian friend eats a bowl of fries, cheese curds and brown gravy every single morning.
It's just his daily poutine.
I said to my wife, 'it's really muggy outside today."
She looked at me and replied, 'if I go outside and all of our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leaving you!"
\*\*Me: Smugly continued sipping coffee from a bowl
No one bird can eat a bowl of fruit loops...
But toucan!
(First post here, hope you like it.)
What do you call a hen staring at a bowl of shredded lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad
