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Bowel Movement Jokes

52 bowel movement jokes and hilarious bowel movement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bowel movement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bowel Movement Short Jokes

Short bowel movement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bowel movement humour may include short bowel jokes also.

  1. I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
  2. A really good bowel movement may not be the absolute greatest thing in the world But it's a solid #2.
  3. I got hungry while playing scrabble, so I ate all of the pieces Tomorrows bowel movement could spell trouble
  4. "I've been having really painful bowel movements," I told my doctor. "How long?" he asked.
    "I can't be sure," I replied. "It's not like I measure them."
  5. A man goes to an astrologer and then to a doctor for advice because he has trouble in performing bowel movements. Both of them said the same thing..... "Uranus is not in the right position".
  6. A guy tells his doctor "I have a good pee every morning at 7.. "And a good bowel movement at 8." Doctor says "OK so what's the trouble?" Man says "I don't get out of bed till 9!"
  7. I just bragged about my bowel movement and my father scolded me for being conceited... ...now I feel empty inside.
  8. Doctor's Office Visit The doctor asked me how my bowel movements have been lately, I told him very dark. He asked me to describe so I said, "every time i look into the bowl, it spells out 'DIE'"
  9. I swallowed some scrabble tiles yesterday... My next bowel movement could spell disaster!
    Haven't seen this in a while, thought I'd repost
  10. A recently discovered European WWII era manuscript tells the story of a young Jewish girl who often had liquidy bowel movements. It's called *"The Diarrhea of Anne Frank."*

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Bowel Movement One Liners

Which bowel movement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bowel movement? I can suggest the ones about stool and diarrhea.

  1. I have a nice solid bowel movement every morning at 6AM. Problem is... I wake up at 7.
  2. My doctor asked me to keep track of my bowel movements, I said how? He said keep a log
  3. What do you call it when your intestines start protesting? A bowel movement.
  4. After a Week of Diarrhea... I would rate today's bowel movement a sold 2.
  5. What do you call a group of anuses fighting for their rights? A bowel movement
  6. What movement did the cholera outbreak in 1854's London cause? The bowel movement.
  7. What was Mozart's first movement? His bowels.
  8. What do you call it when a cannibal's guests leave the dinner party? a bowel movement
  9. What's the best way to track your bowel movement? Keep a log.
  10. i pinched out a bowel movement while reaching for a stool.
  11. What do you call a rapper who has regular bowel movements? Puelz Santana
  12. This joke up me crack everytime I hear it Will tell you after next bowel movement.
  13. How long does eating a baby stick with you? until your next bowel movement
  14. When do people have unhappy bowel movements? On sad-t**...-days.

Bowel Movement Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bowel movement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toilet bowl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bowel movement pranks.

A man goes into the doctor...

The doctor asks the man what his issue is.
Man: "Doc, i have this problem where i'm having bowel movements at 6 a.m."
Doctor: "That's great! You're regular!"
Man: "No it's not, i don't get up until 7 a.m."

Undefined illness

Who said that health care in Canada was not up to par???

A Muslim immigrant in Toronto goes to the doctor and says "I feel terrible."

The doctor examines him and then says:

"You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage.

Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for three days."

The Muslim does this and goes back to the doctor 3 days later and says "I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "You were homesick."

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.

A top research doctor recently did a breakthrough study of diarrhea and other bowel movements.

It was a real crapshoot.

Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7.

But that's very health, Mr Johnson.
It would be but I don't wake up until 8

dreaming again

"Please help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7!"
"But that is a very healthy thing, Mr. Richards!"
"It would be, if I didn't usually wake up at 8:30!"

Help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7!

Doctor: Well that's good, it means you're healthy.
Man: You'd think so, but I don't wake up until 8am!

A man goes to the doctor and announces, "Doctor! I have a bowel movement every morning at 7:00"

"That's perfectly healthy", replies the doctor.
"But I wake up at 7:30!"

I've heard that couples who are close sometimes share pictures of their bowel movements

Turns out she doesn't like my s**...-posting.

A man tells a doctor he is concerned about the regularity of his bowel movements.

- "Each morning at 8 am."
- "So what's the problem with that," the doctor asks.
- "I don't wake up until nine."

"Tell me about the pattern of your bowel movements?" asked my doctor.

I said, "Streaky and brown."

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and b**... functions.

The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I c**... like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"

Three old men sitting on a park bench…

Man #1: I wish I can sleep through the night, I get up every 2 hours to pee.
Man #2: You think that's bad? I'm constipated and haven't had a bowel movement in a week.
Man #3: You think you guys have problems? I sleep throughout the night and every morning at 7:30 I empty my bladder and have a big bowel movement.
The other two men look confused…How's that a problem? They ask.
Man #3: I don't get up until 8:00am…

Maurice is 70 years old and makes an appointment to see his doctor. His doctor asks him a few questions.

His doctor asks him a few questions: "Do you have any problems urinating?"
Maurice replies "No, Doctor. It's very regular, every morning at 7am."
"And what about your bowel movements?"
Maurice replies "They're fine also, Doctor. Every morning at 8am."
"So then why did you come to see me?"
"I don't wake up until 9am"