Bowel Movement Jokes
44 bowel movement jokes and hilarious bowel movement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bowel movement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Bowel Movement Short Jokes
Short bowel movement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bowel movement humour may include short bowel jokes also.
- I accidentally swallowed a handful of scrabble tiles... My next bowel movement could spell disaster.
- A really good bowel movement may not be the absolute greatest thing in the world But it's a solid #2.
- "I've been having really painful bowel movements," I told my doctor. "How long?" he asked.
"I can't be sure," I replied. "It's not like I measure them." - A man goes to an astrologer and then to a doctor for advice because he has trouble in performing bowel movements. Both of them said the same thing..... "Uranus is not in the right position".
- A guy tells his doctor "I have a good pee every morning at 7.. "And a good bowel movement at 8." Doctor says "OK so what's the trouble?" Man says "I don't get out of bed till 9!"
- I just bragged about my bowel movement and my father scolded me for being conceited... ...now I feel empty inside.
- A recently discovered European WWII era manuscript tells the story of a young Jewish girl who often had liquidy bowel movements. It's called *"The Diarrhea of Anne Frank."*
- dreaming again "Please help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7!"
"But that is a very healthy thing, Mr. Richards!"
"It would be, if I didn't usually wake up at 8:30!" - Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune? She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.
- "Tell me about the pattern of your bowel movements?" asked my doctor. I said, "Streaky and brown."
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Bowel Movement One Liners
Which bowel movement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bowel movement? I can suggest the ones about stool and diarrhea.
- I have a nice solid bowel movement every morning at 6AM. Problem is... I wake up at 7.
- My doctor asked me to keep track of my bowel movements, I said how? He said keep a log
- What do you call it when your intestines start protesting? A bowel movement.
- After a Week of Diarrhea... I would rate today's bowel movement a sold 2.
- What do you call a group of anuses fighting for their rights? A bowel movement
- What movement did the cholera outbreak in 1854's London cause? The bowel movement.
- What was Mozart's first movement? His bowels.
- What do you call it when a cannibal's guests leave the dinner party? a bowel movement
- What's the best way to track your bowel movement? Keep a log.
- i pinched out a bowel movement while reaching for a stool.
- What do you call a rapper who has regular bowel movements? Puelz Santana
- This joke up me crack everytime I hear it Will tell you after next bowel movement.
- When do people have unhappy bowel movements? On sad-t**...-days.
Bowel Movement Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bowel movement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean toilet bowl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bowel movement pranks.
Undefined illness
Who said that health care in Canada was not up to par???
A Muslim immigrant in Toronto goes to the doctor and says "I feel terrible."
The doctor examines him and then says:
"You need to pee and put your bowel movements in a bucket for a week, then throw in a dead fish and some rotten cabbage.
Put a towel over your head and inhale the vapors for three days."
The Muslim does this and goes back to the doctor 3 days later and says "I feel wonderful! what was wrong with me?"
The doctor replied, "You were homesick."
How do blind people know they're finished wiping after a bowel movement?
They taste blood on the TP.
A top research doctor recently did a breakthrough study of diarrhea and other bowel movements.
It was a real crapshoot.
Problems Of Old Men
Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-old said, 'The best
thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee.
I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts.
I have to go over and over again.'
The 85 year-old said, 'The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have
one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on
and it's still a problem.'
Then the 90 year-old said, 'That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am
sharp, I have a good long pee. At 6:30 am sharp I have a great bowel
movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up
before 7:00 am.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've heard that couples who are close sometimes share pictures of their bowel movements
Turns out she doesn't like my s**...-posting.
A man tells a doctor he is concerned about the regularity of his bowel movements.
- "Each morning at 8 am."
- "So what's the problem with that," the doctor asks.
- "I don't wake up until nine."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and b**... functions.
The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I c**... like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"
Maurice is 70 years old and makes an appointment to see his doctor. His doctor asks him a few questions.
His doctor asks him a few questions: "Do you have any problems urinating?"
Maurice replies "No, Doctor. It's very regular, every morning at 7am."
"And what about your bowel movements?"
Maurice replies "They're fine also, Doctor. Every morning at 8am."
"So then why did you come to see me?"
"I don't wake up until 9am"