Bow Tie Jokes
25 bow tie jokes and hilarious bow tie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bow tie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bow Tie Short Jokes
Short bow tie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bow tie humour may include short neck tie jokes also.
- My friend, Ming, told me that I would look more professional if I stop wearing my funny bow tie. I responded, "But I am nothing without my comedic tie, Ming."
- A husband wanted to surprise his wife on their anniversary by putting a little bow tie on his manhood, but got worried she wouldn't notice it after she turned out the lights. She found it touching.
- I recently learned how to s**... a rope and have it come out the other end t**... in a bow. I s**... you knot.
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Bow Tie One Liners
Which bow tie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bow tie? I can suggest the ones about suit tie and suit and tie.
- What do u call a fish with a bow tie? So*fish*ticated
- What did the bow tie say to the top hat? You go on a head, I'll hang around
- What do you call a bow covered in chickens? A hen tie
- What bow cannot be tied? A rainbow
- What do you call a Mexican in a bow tie? Elbow
(El Bow) - Some folks just can't pull off a bow tie... ...and they choke to death.
Bow Tie Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about bow tie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean black tie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bow tie pranks.
A piece of string walks into a bar...
And the bartender kicks him out while yelling "I don't serve your kind in here, string!" The string really wanted a drink though, so he bent over and rubbed his head on the ground for a bit. Then he ties himself in a bow and walks back inside. The bartender sees him and immediately starts yelling "Aren't you that same string I just kicked out?!" To which the string replies "No sir, I'm a frayed knot".
A string walks into a bar.
The bartender goes, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here." The string walks out all sad and defeated, then has a great idea. He ties himself in a bow, cuts off his ends to look all pretty, and struts back into the bar.
The bartender looks at him and goes, "Hey, aren't you that string I turned away before?" and the string goes, "Nope! I'm a frayed knot!"
A man walks into the bar and takes a stool next to a duck on the bar...
Man: what's with the duck?
Bartender: oh he's magic
M: what?
B: magic... So you whisper your greatest desire in his ear and immediately he grants it
M: no way
B: try it!
The man leans into the ducks ear and whispers something and *p**...* a small man in a suit with tails and a white bow tie appears on the bar.
M: well it must be broken because I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist...
3 strings walk into a bar.
The first one orders a drink.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here."
So the second string ties itself into a bow and proceeds to order a drink.
"Nope", says the bartender, "you're a string."
Then the third string ties itself into a knot and frays each end, then orders a drink.
The bartender eyes the string up and down and says, "Aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Frayed knot!"
I recently traveled through time to hook-up with Queen Victoria, the famous n**...-queen of England in the late 1800's.
I was stunned to find out that she wanted me adorned in the latest fashions before we consummated our tri-millenium tryst. She made me wait until I grew large mutton-chop side-burns and a moustache. It took like three weeks. Meanwhile, she had a high fastening and tight fitting frock coat cut to my size with tailored shirts having high upstanding collars tied at the neck with large bow-ties. Finally, after a month, I'm adorned in the finest haberdashery of the day when I come to find out, it is now her time of the month. Since I looked like any gentleman of the era, we had period s**....
A multi-level meta joke
So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a free beer. The bartender says to him I'll give you a free beer if you tell me a multi-level meta joke. So the guy says A guy walks into a bar and asks for a free beer. The bartender says to him 'I'll give you a free beer if you tell me a meta joke.' So the guy says A guy walks into a bar and asks for a free beer. The bartender says to him I'll give you a free beer if you tell me a joke. So the guy says What did the bow tie say to the top hat? You go on a head, I'll hang around. ' So the bartender gave him a beer. So the bartender gave him a beer. So the bartender gave him a beer.
Three pieces of string walk into a bar.
First one goes up and asks the bartender for a drink. Bartender says 'sorry mate, we don't serve pieces of strings here'. The string sits down and his mate says 'I'll give it a try'. Again, the bartender explains that they don't serve pieces of string in the bar. The third piece of string says 'don't worry fellas, I'll get this'. He ties himself in a bow to neaten himself up, messes up his hair and walks up to the bar. He asks for three drinks. The barman looks at him and asks 'are you a piece of string?' 'No, I'm a frayed not.'
A cat in a rainbow afro wig is driving a train
and things are not going well, he's blowing switches, picking up speed and will almost certainly c**... into the town at the bottom of the hill. A police officer sees this hops in her car and chases after the train. Through a daring twist of events the police officer manages to dive onto the train after crashing her car into the river below. When she gets to the engine room she sees the cat is wearing Groucho Marx glasses, and is blowing into a tube that causes its' polka-dotted bow-tie to spin while making a whistle-ish sound. The police officer looks ahead and sees she has only moments to stop the train. Her instincts kick in, she pulls the brake and the train stops inches from crashing into the town and killing thousands.
The moral of the story is a copper is a much better conductor then a silicate.
The Scottsman
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked the he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off in to the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other, with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong a handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said "We must be gone.
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied in to a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
"Lad, I don't know where ya been, but I see you've won first prize"
The Irish Rovers, "The Scottsman"
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”