Bout Jokes
54 bout jokes and hilarious bout puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bout that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Bout Short Jokes
Short bout jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bout humour may include short bung jokes also.
- Brittney Griner had been traded for Viktor Bout This is the first wnba trade that I paid attention to.
- I used to think I was a boy trapped in a girl's body Lasted bout nine months, I'm fine now.
- A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?" - The scarf store A guy walks in to a scarf shop and asks what kind of scarves they sell.
The owner replies "we have wool ones inside and cashmere outside, how bout dat?" - Bad luck today, I have a bout of food poisioning AND I dropped my Galaxy Note 7 in the toilet by mistake :( Talk about explosive diarrhea.
- Doctor Doolittle spies an unfamiliar crocodilian on a South American riverbank. He calls out "I say! Are you a cayman?"
"Not bad, how 'bout you?" answers the croc. - A Texan walked into a bar... The bartender asked, "You got any ID?"
The Texan said, "'bout what?" - What is the difference between a piece of fabric with elastic around the edges, designed to go on a bed, and an unexpected bout of diarrhea when wearing sandals? One is a fitted sheet...
- What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a pornstar with a bout of diarrhea? One shucks between fits.
- Next time I hit the club, I'm coloring myself head to toe with a permanent marker, and that's all I'll wear. Because every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharpie-dressed man.
Share These Bout Jokes With Friends
Bout One Liners
Which bout one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bout? I can suggest the ones about cont and breaker.
- What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit Farts
- I was bout to make a sodium joke but... Na
- What'd the Mexican say when he was upset? I don't want to taco bout it.
- I gave a homeless guy some cheese today. I feel gouda 'bout it.
- Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? It wanted to taco bout his feelings
- Genoa bout the bridge collapse in Italy? Ah well, we won't go over it then.
- If 2 vegans are upset with eachother, is it called beef? Or would it be a brussel bout?
- What did one nut say to the other? Imma cashew outside, how bout dat?
- My Mexican girlfriend got mad at me today I asked her if she wanted to taco bout it.
- What did one web browser say to another during a fight? Cache me outside, how bout dat.
- First rule of tortilla fight club- You don't talk about the taco bout
- What does one processor tell another? Cache me outside how 'bout dat?
- Why is an Oklahoma divorce like a Texas twister? Somebody's 'bout to lose a trailer.
- I've had many traumatic experiences with Mexicans... I don' wanna taco 'bout it.
- Why couldn't anyone help the tortilla? He didn't want to taco 'bout it
Hilarious Bout Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about bout you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean round jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bout pranks.
A joke my Dad made up (says lots bout Dad): A philosopher and a nudist are at a beach resort...
The philosopher asks the nudist, "have you read marx? And the nudist replies, "why, yes! But I think it's the wicker chairs."
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm...
...he announces to everyone in the bar that his dog can talk and he will make a $1000 bet with anyone who doesn't believe him. The bartender saw this as a great opportunity so he took the man up on the wager.
The man looks at the dog and says, "What is the top of a house called?" The dog said, "Roof."
Quite annoyed the bartender vented his grief in defeat. "Well, how bout a different word, double or nothing?" the man said. The bartender begrudgingly accepted as the man asked, "Who was the greatest baseball player ever?"
In a muffled response the dog said, "Ruth."
Furious, the bartender grabbed the man and the dog and threw them out the bar. As they landed on the sidewalk, the dog looked at the man with a puzzled look. "DiMaggio?"
A black knight moves into a new village with only white people...
...after a year, a white girl in the village gives birth to a black child. A shepherd goes up to the knight and says: "I think you had s**... with that girl, since you're the only black person in this entire village." The knight responds: "Well, sometimes weird things just happen, like your single white sheep among your heard of black sheep." The shepherd says: "Hey! You say nothing bout the sheep, I say nothing bout the baby."
That pig is a hero.
One day two farmers are chatting and farmer 1 notices that farmer 2 has an odd pig.
Farmer 1: "hey why does that pig over there only got three legs?"
Farmer 2: "oh that pig, he's a hero. bout a month ago there was a fire at my house and that pig came in, and pulled my whole family out of the house while we were sleeping."
Farmer 1: "oh, so it lost the leg in the fire?"
Farmer 2: "no, a pig like that you don't eat all at once."
Ole and Sven are flying a plane over northern Minnesota
Ole is the pilot, and they are approaching their destination. Sven looks out the window and sees the runway in the distance. He notices the runway looks rather short and says, "Y'know, Ole, dat looks like a really short runway."
Ole replies, "Oh, don't worry. Dis is a small plane after all. Dere's plenty of space for us to land."
As they get closer, Sven sees that the runway is indeed very short, and he says, "Ole, I don't know bout dis, it looks like dat runway is too short."
Ole says, "Ok, I'll press da brakes as hard as I can when we come down, how bout dat?"
But Sven isn't reassured very much. At this point, he can see that the runway is almost certainly too short for them to land. He says, "Ole! Dis runway is way too short. we're gonna c**...!"
Ole says, "Oh shut up. I'll just put de plane in reverse as soon as we land, that'll do it."
So, the plane touches down, and despite Ole's best efforts, they do go off the runway and into the fence. The plane flips over a few times and is heavily damaged, but luckily both Ole and Sven are relatively unharmed. The two climb out of the wreckage, and Sven says, "You see, I was right! Dis runway was too short!"
Ole looks up and down the runway, and then he says, "Aye, it was really short. But look at how *wide* it is!"
Man finds a Genie in a bottle
Man walking along the beach finds a bottle, opens it, out pops a Genie
"Ok, great you found me and all but im busy and you get One Wish. Take it or leave it"
"Well, jeez, I always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate flying, and I get sea Sick. How bout a highway from San Francisco to Hawaii"
"Are you nuts? Do you know how long a bridge that would be? How deep the pylons would go? Why the Engineering alone would be a Monumental undertaking....Pick something else, pick something else"
"Ok, I want to understand Women"
"So you want this to be a Two or Four lane highway?"
mom, pull over imma bout to throw up...
West side california!! wit uppppp
Is it fair to say Marvin Lewis' joke bout Johnny Manziel...
went over everybody's head?
I ate some Girl Scout Cookies that were way past their expiration date...
...and ended up with a n**... bout of samoanella.
Did you hear bout that mafia goon who crossdressed as a female servant?
He was a maid man.
how big is Jared fogel's s**... drive?
bout 5.6TB
(Mild GoT spoilers) Why is Hodor's real name Wylis?
Because everyone wonders what he's talkin' bout.
Why did the fisherman catch the Mackerel and then let it go?
Cause he's all about that Bass, bout that Bass.... No Mackerel.
What is a fisherman's favorite song?
All bout that bass
"I'm all about that bass bout that bass bout that bass"
The Mexican word of the day..
The Mexican word of the day is cashew.
Like I'll cashew outside, how bout dat?
Her: how bout a t**...?
Me: t**...? If I wanted to disappoint 2 people I'd go to dinner with my parents.
Secede from the Union
United States: Should we do something about guns?
Texas: WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
United States: How bout dem immigrants tho
Texas: WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
United States: I like ice cream
Texas: WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
United States: Let's ban w**...
Texas: aiight cool
California:WE CAN AND WILL SECEDE FROM THE UNION IF WE SEE IT FIT TO DO SO
After years of silence, what did Lance Armstrong say to reconcile with his doctor?
Hey Doc, how bout we give it another shot?
Boutta hit 7K karma
Would be a shame if this got downvoted
Patty and Simon are walking home from the pub.
As they're walking past the bus depot Patty has a great idea.
In his thick Irish accent, patty says you know what? How bout we steal a bus and drive home
Aye says Simon. You go in and get one and I'll keep watch
After about 20 minutes Simon starts to wonder where Patty is so he goes in after him. When he finds him he asks what are ye doing?
To which Patty replies I'm looking for the No 57 bus. It goes right past our house!
Simon sighs are ya daft? Get the 43 bus and we'll walk from the round about
The Captain's Drink
Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"
America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly "irate"?
Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate"
Two r**... Eagles are drinking in a bar
One turns to the other, with his leg out, and says You hear bout that Talon ban in the Middle East?
Brittney Griner and Viktor Bout are talking during prisoner exchange, arguing about who lives in a freer country.
Brittney says, "America is the best! I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country."
"Big deal," Viktor says, "I can do that too."
"You can?" Brittney says.
"Sure," says Viktor. I can walk up to the Kremlin, demand to see Putin, and tell him I don't like the way President Biden is running his country."
(Stolen from an old Reagan joke)
