Bouquet Jokes
36 bouquet jokes and hilarious bouquet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bouquet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A bouquet of flowers isn't just a pretty sight; they can also bring some humor to your wedding. From the person that catches the bouquet to the scent of roses and tuxedo-clad groomsmen, here are some bouquet jokes that will have you in stitches. Get ready to laugh and celebrate with these light-hearted jokes about the bridal bouquet.
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Funniest Bouquet Short Jokes
Short bouquet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bouquet humour may include short bunch jokes also.
- This morning my wife walked in and started hitting me with a bouquet of purple flowers… She woke up and chose violets.
- A guy brings his girlfriend a bouquet of flowers "Well I guess I'll have to spread my legs now" she says.
Guy says "What for!? Don't you have a vase?" - A guy comes home with a bouquet flowers for his wife. *"I guess I'll have to spread my legs now"*, she says.
*"Why?"* He asks, *"don't you have a vase?"* - A man gets a bouquet of flowers for his wife. The wife asks him Now I got to spread my legs? . He replies Why? Don't we have a vase?
- My girlfriend caught the bride's bouquet I don't know how are we going to date if she'll get married...
- Still don't know what I did wrong. My girlfriend was happy when I brought her home a bouquet of flowers.
Her mood changed when I told her I found them by a lamp post. - What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match? Tysssonssss
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Bouquet One Liners
Which bouquet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bouquet? I can suggest the ones about florist and wreath.
- I bought my vegan girlfriend a bouquet of flowers. She said 'aww thanks, i was starving'
- "This bouquet is missing some flowers" I said lackadaisically.
- I just got a huge bouquet of roses for my wife I thought it was a pretty good trade
- I had a wonderful job opportunity to make bouquets Sadly I threw it away
Gather Around for Heartwarming Bouquet Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about bouquet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vase jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bouquet pranks.
A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell
She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"
A man wanted to prove to his wife that he loved her more than s**......
so he bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. I suppose now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread , said the wife. Why? asked the husband, Don't we have a vase?
Found this one on Wikipedia of all places
Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*
My favorite joke from The Sopranos
A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. "What? Do you expect me to spread my legs for you now?" says the wife. The husband replies, "honey, I love you, but i think a vase will work just fine."
Credit to Uncle Jun.
A man comes home really really drunk....
...clenching a bouquet of flowers.
He goes to the bedroom, turns on the light and in a slurry voice he says:
"Here ya go honey, these are for you.."
To which his wife angrily replies; "Oh well that's great, I guess now you expect me to spread my legs?"
The man looks at the bouquet, then back at his wife and says:
"Why, you don't have a vase?"
Two girls walking down the street when...
one sees her husband coming out of a floral shop with a bouquet of flowers. She says "Oh shoot, he's buying me flowers. I'll have to lay on my back for two days with my feet in the air. Her friend says "Would'nt it be easier to just buy a vase?
The Argument
A woman has had a huge argument with her husband and is on the phone having a long chat with her friend when she sees her husband returning home with a huge bouquet of flowers.
"Oh no," says the woman. "My husband's home and he's brought a huge bunch of flowers for me."
Her friend is a little surprised. "But that's so sweet of him!"
"Ugh," says the woman. "It means I have to spend all night on my back with my legs in the air."
The friend pauses for a moment. "Don't you have a vase?"
I saw a guy at the flower store. He was trying to pick the perfect bouquet for his wife. He said It's crazy how much money you gotta spend on something that's just going to die.
I said I know... And you gotta buy them flowers...
A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.
The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her.
She then smirks and says to the crowd of women gathered around "I guess this means I will be spending the night with my legs in the air."
The blonde then says "Don't you have a vase?"
A wife was mad at her husband so after work, he bought a huge bouquet of flowers. He comes home and presents the beautiful arrangement to his wife. She says: Do you expect me to spread my legs for this?
He asks, Don't we have a vase?
A man can't decide what to get his girlfriend, a florist, for her birthday.
He goes all around town in search for a gift when he discovers a lovely garden of flowers. Because his wife loves flowers, he decides to pick out a lovely bouquet of daisies, roses and dandelions. The garden is empty and lifeless when he leaves that day.
When the day of his girlfriend's birthday arrives he gives her the handpicked bouquet of the flowers. The girl blushes and says Oh, thank you honey! These flowers are so pretty! They almost make me forget that someone destroyed my garden!
A Polish woman is visiting her friend
A Polish woman is visiting her friend. They are sitting talking at the kitchen table when her friend looks out the window and sees her husband carrying a bouquet of flowers. She turns to her Polish friend and says "great, now I'm going to have my legs up in the air all night"
Her friend replies "hmm usually I just use a vase"
I brought home a bouquet of roses for my wife
She looked at me in disbelief and asked "what did you do wrong"
"What? I just wanted to do something nice for you, buy you a gift, and this is how you act?" I respond
"Yea right, you think I don't know any better, now you want me to lay in bed n**... all week with my legs spread"
"Why" i asked, " you don't have a vase?"
A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street...
... when they see the brunette's boyfriend coming out of a florists with a huge bouquet of flowers.
"oh no", says the brunette, "now he'll want me on my back with my legs in the air".
"why?", asks the blonde. "Don't you have a vase?"
The Valentine's Day Blonde
A woman receives a huge bouquet of flowers from her boyfriend at the office and is clearly upset about it. Her co-workers ask what's wrong.
She replies, very annoyed: "This is just great. Now I guess I'll have to spend the whole evening on my back, with my legs in the air!"
The blonde says, "That's awful! Don't you have a vase?"
I was doing some shopping at the supermarket...
...and had a cart full of groceries and a lovely bouquet of flowers. Coincidentally, my wife walked in just as I was checking out.
She noticed the flowers I was buying and jokingly said "Those had better be for me!"
The teenager at the register turned and said "Even if they weren't, they definitely are now!"
A blonde and a brunette..
A blonde and a brunette were walking past a flower shop when the brunette saw her boyfriend grabbing a bouquet of roses. She turns to the blond and says, "Now I'll be expected to lay on my back with my legs up in the air all weekend."
The blonde questions quizzically, "Why, don't you have a vase?"
A man goes to apologize to his girlfriend
He buys a big bouquet of flowers, goes to her house and rings the doorbell. As his girlfriend opens the door he says:'' uhm well I'm sorry''. The girl responds:'' great, and now I suppose I have to spread my legs?!!?'' on which he says:''don't you have a vase?''
All Weekend ?
A woman is at work. Friday afternoon she receives a bouquet of roses from here husband. oh great she tells her co worker, Now I will Have To Spend All Weekend With My Legs Up In The Air Why asked her coworker, Haven't You Got A Vase At Home ?
On the first day of school,
.. the children brought gifts for their teacher. The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit… She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked,
"Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy...........
"It's a puppy!"
A guy asked his crush to prom, and to his surprise, she said yes! The day before prom, he gets ready for the exciting day.
First, he goes to the tuxedo store to rent a tux, there was a huge line and he finally got the tux after 30 minutes. Next, he goes to the flower shop to buy a bouquet of flowers. There was an even longer line and he waited for 60 minutes to finally get the flowers. Finally, he went to the car shop to rent a limousine. The line lasted 90 minutes and he finally rented a white limousine. On the day of prom, he wears his tuxedo, drives the limousine, and gives the flowers to his crush. At prom, his crush asked him to go grab her a drink. He walks over to the punch table, there is no punchline...
SCOTCH ??
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.
The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.
The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box.
The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked,
"Champagne ?"
"No," said the little boy...
"It's a puppy!"
A Boy Asked His Crush Out To Prom...
A boy asked his crush to prom. His crush agreed, so the boy went to get a suit. There was a long line at the register, but the boy got the suit.
Then he went for a bouquet of flowers, there was another long line at the store, but he purchased the flowers.
Finally, he had to buy tickets, there was yet another long line for the tickets but he waited, and eventually got what he needed.
The boy and his girlfriend were at prom dancing. After the music stopped, the girl asked for a glass of punch. The boy went to get drinks and there was no punchline.
