Bound Jokes
70 bound jokes and hilarious bound puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bound that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Explore the hilarious side of the college-bound life — with jokes that run the gamut from raunchy dominatrix stories to the ridiculousness of contraptions and web-related humor. Get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Bound Short Jokes
Short bound jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bound humour may include short contained jokes also.
- How did Kanye find out that Kim was bound, gagged, and held at gunpoint? She released the video on pornhub.
(Too soon?) - Wheel chair bound congressman Madison Cawthorn lost his primary tonight. Now it's not just his doctors telling him that he can no longer run.
- There's this wheelchair bound kid that gets bullied alot. It's really sad cause he can't seem to stand up for himself.
- My wife told me that before I come to bed, she'd like me to start the dishwasher, set the coffee maker, and bring her some water. I said, "Ok, but I'm bound to forget one of those two things."
- My wheelchair bound girlfriend broke up with me. I think it was because she couldn't stand me.
- Why did the golfers wife call for help when he hit the ball out of bounds? Because he stroked out!
- What do you call an organic compound in which a hydroxyl is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl?? See? Sometimes alcohol IS the answer!!
- To Whom It May Concern: I'm sorry your first name is Whom but with a last name like Concern, your parents were bound to name you that.
- What did the wheelchair-bound software developer say when asked to speak at an Apple Keynote? "Sorry, but I don't do stand-up comedy."
- If you're looking for a relationship, become a roofer. You're bound to find hot shingles in your area
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Bound One Liners
Which bound one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bound? I can suggest the ones about sealed and collapsed.
- Man is like spider... ..bound to have sticky fingers after being on the web
- I like my women like I like my books. Leather-bound.
- A man is like a spider.... when he is on the web, he is bound to get his hands sticky....
- I like my men like I like my books Well read and bound in leather.
- What do you call a frog making leaps and bounds? Frogress
(just made this up) - Reddit and Fencing have something in common There's bound to be a riposte
- The changes with NASCAR were bound to happen...... They've been turning left for years.
- I like my woman how I like my books Leather-bound and broken spined.
- What do you call a wheelchair bound Leo? HanDicaprio. .
- What do you call a constipated paladin? Duty bound
- Have you ever heard of the exhausted frog? He was out of bounds
- What did the compiler say to the hair line? Input is out of bounds
- Why shouldn't you shortchange a skunk? It's bound to make a stink.
- The new Walking Dead is like leaving milk out the fridge. It's bound to be spoiled.
- Confucius says Man entering airport door sideways bound to Bangkok
Wheelchair Bound Jokes
Here is a list of funny wheelchair bound jokes and even better wheelchair bound puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I saw a kid getting bullied at my school today... I would've stood up for him, but I'm bound to a wheelchair.
- My friends attitude changed ever since he was left wheelchair bound He used to be a stand-up guy
- Why does the canibal only eat wheelchair bounds? Because he's a vegetarian
- Lego introduces a wheelchair bound minifig. He lost his mobility after stepping on a lego.
- Why did the wheelchair-bound girlfriend break up with her boyfriend? He kept pushing her around.
- What do you call a wheelchair-bound nun who lives high up on a mountain? A) High roller
B) v**... mobile
C) Nun of the above - How come we call walkie-talkies "walkie talkies", but we don't call vacuums "pushie suckies"? Because that title is reserved for wheelchair bound h**....
- A recent accident has left me wheelchair bound. I'm a burden to my family and my morning bathroom routine is t**...... I can't stand to look at myself.
- Which company does the former wheelchair-bound nun work for? ...v**... Mobile
College Bound Jokes
Here is a list of funny college bound jokes and even better college bound puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Just because I'm below grade average and my family is poor, doesn't mean I won't be applying to colleges There's bound to be one college with an opening position as a janitor.
Hilarious Fun Bound Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about bound you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean locked jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bound pranks.
Lourdes
A wheel-chair bound chap decided to visit the healing waters of Lourdes. It was very crowded but he spotted a gap and went for it at such a pace that he ended up in the pool, wheel-chair and all. When they fished him out he was quite disappointed to find that he was still unable to walk, but found consolation in the fact that his wheel chair had a brand new set of tires.
The trouble with having an Asian f**... AND a f**......
You're bound to get off on the Wong foot.
Book of Dad Jokes [X-Post with DadJokes]
A father and his son are having drinks at a bar to celebrate the birth of the son's first child.
The dad hands his son a thick, leather bound book and says, "son, this book is a collection of the world's greatest dad jokes. Now that you're a father, it's time that I passed it on to you."
The son gets a little teary and says, "oh, Dad, I'm touched." The father responds, "Nice to meet you Touched, I'm Dad."
A gambling addict begins his 5th stretch of therapy...
"It failed 4 times in a row, so it's bound to work this time."
Confucius say
Man is like spider, bound to have sticky hand after being on web.
I think it might be a good idea to not buy gold right now.
Is a statement that is bound to get gilded.
Tonight you will be bound and beaten until you almost loose consciousness and your tear ducts are dry
Sorry wrong sub
My local b**... club was robbed last night...
we were all left bound and gagged.
We absolutely loved it.
The Race "Bound 2" Fail
Why did Kanye West's daughter run the opposite direction at her race?
-When the race began her parents shouted "GO NORTH WEST!!!"
So I went into mcdonalds and ordered some fries.
There was a chubby girl working, she seemed busy and kinda stressed out. She informed me the fries are cooking, and will be ready in about 3 minutes. I told her "no problem" and waited for my fries. After a few minutes she brought me my order and said "sorry about the wait" I said "no problem chubby, you're bound to lose it sometime".
Children are like t**....
If anyone hurts mine then I'm bound to cry.
"Don't get your p**... in a bunch" is terrible advice
They're bound to be more expensive when purchased separately.
A lady goes to a therapist to talk about her failing relationship.
Lady: Doctor! My husband has been pushing me around and constantly talking behind my back when we are around!
Therapist: That tends to happen when you're bound to a wheelchair ma'am.
My wife tied me up and asked if I really loved her
I said yes of course, but I was bound to say that
A couple of secs
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's s**...?"
"OK," he thinks, "this day was bound to come, and I'm not going to let my little princess learn about s**... from the streets."
So, he sits her down, and tells her all about the birds and the bees. He tells her about conception, i**..., puberty and m**....
Then she asks, "Daddy, what is 'A Couple'?"
And he carries on, "A couple is two people like your mom and me." And he goes on to describe gay, lesbianism, etc...
The father finally asks, "So why did you want to know about 'a couple' and s**...'?"
"Oh, mummy said lunch would be ready in a couple of secs..." the girl replies.
After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study.
It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE .
When we opened it, all it contained was gran's phone number.
TIL: The Titanic was not just a passenger liner, but also a cargo ship
Among other things, it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise bound for Mexico. When Mexico heard that they would not receive it, they understandably upset, and decided to name a day in memorial of it. They called this day Cinco de Mayo.
A Florida Man...
There's no joke here but I know you clicked it cause it was bound to be crazy
What do you call a shellfish that is really into b**...?
A mussel bound freak.
A couple months ago, my girlfriend and I started experimenting with b**.... I was quite into it, but I could see she wasn't having fun herself. But we kept at it and now I think she's really starting to enjoy it.
She was bound to like it eventually
A man dies and goes to Heaven...
When he meets Peter, he sees billions of clocks behind him.
"What's the deal with those clocks?" the man asks.
"Each of these clocks is bound to a person on Earth, either dead or alive," Peter replies. "Every time they lie, the pointers shift."
Peter then gives some examples: "This one is Mother Theresa's. It says 00:00, because she never lied. This one is Abraham Lincoln's. He lied twice..." etc.
The man, curious, then asks: "So... where's Mark Rutte's clock?"
"Oh, it's in my office: I use it as my fan!"
What do Pokemon and stds have in common?
If you toss your b**... around randomly for long enough you're bound to catch one
My wheelchair bound grandpa is in the nursing home.
I went to visit him for the first time. As we're discussing the local baseball team, he starts slowly leaning to the right in his chair. A nurse come running over and straightens him back up.
As the topic turns to football, he slowly starts leaning to the left. The same nurse rushes over to straighten him up again.
As she walked away, I asked:
Me: So gramps, how do you like living here so far?
A tear starts running down his face as he gets this wistful look in his eyes.
Grandpa: it's not too bad. I just wish they would let me f**....
