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Bough Jokes

129 bough jokes and hilarious bough puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bough that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bough Short Jokes

Short bough jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bough humour may include short buys jokes also.

  1. This is 40 Questioning her career choices, a 40-year old health care worker who treated pregnant women bough a bright red convertible and skipped town. She was having a midwife crisis.
  2. Did such a great job cutting down a tree yesterday The neighbours clapped as I took a bough
  3. I chopped down a tree yesterday. The people watching thought I did such a good job I took a bough.
  4. I bough my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.
  5. Apple likes to leave things out of their products. The phone I bough from them doesn't have a headphone jack... and the car I bought from them doesn't have windows.

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Bough One Liners

Which bough one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bough? I can suggest the ones about brought and gourd.

  1. What's Bernie Sanders favorite Christmas Carols? deck the halls with boughs of free cash
  2. Bough some shoes from my drug dealer. They were pretty nice

Bough joke, Bough some shoes from my drug dealer.

Comical Bough Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about bough you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buckle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bough pranks.

I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning...

...within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.

I just bought a 3D kindle.

Or a book as it is more commonly known.

I bought a cheese grater for my blind uncle...

...he said it was the most violent thing he ever read.

I bought my dog a new toy...

...but after a few hours it stopped working. I took it back to the pet shop to see if they could fix it. The guy looked at it for a second and said "I'm sorry, sir, but the hamster is dead".

I bought some new speakers today......

I think I made a sound investment.

I bought 2 Chainz' latest album, but it was the censored edition.

It's easily one of the best instrumental CDs I've heard in a long time.

I bought a new thesaurus

It's nothing to write house about

I bought myself a snail to race other snails..

I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster.
If anything it just made it more sluggish

So I bought a pair of shoe from a drug addict yesterday. ..

... And I dunno what he laced them with but I've been trippin ever since

I bought a book on how to build stairs

Its a step by step guide

I just bought condoms..

And when the cashier asked.. "Do you need a bag?" I just said.. No she isn't that ugly.

I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.

It's not her main present, just a stocking filler

I bought my son a fridge for Christmas.

I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.

I bought my Dad a cheap dictionary for Christmas.

He couldn't find the right words to thank me.

I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5

It was a pi rated DVD

I bought a book on eBay called "How to Scam on eBay".

It still hasn't arrived.

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

Bought a Muslim s**... doll today

It blows itself up.

I bought a push up bra today...

It didn't work, I can still only do 2...

I bought a gallon of Wite-Out the other day....

Big mistake.

I bought my son a puppy...

I bought my son a puppy for his birthday but I accidentally ran him over as I was backing out my driveway. At least I still have the puppy

I bought a 5 gallon drum of correction fluid the other day.

Big mistake.

I've just bought a house with period features

She hates that nickname.

I just bought a new computer...

When i turned it on, instead of saying "Welcome", it said " Hello".
It's a Dell.

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said thank you. I said don't mention it.

I bought a fitbit...

I haven't went running yet, but I j**... off for six miles today.

I bought my wife a new puppy for Valentine's Day! She's such a beautiful dog! Unfortunately, I forgot my wife is allergic to dogs... so I have to find her a new home. Can anybody help me out?

She's 5'5", 125lbs, and blonde. Free to good home.

I bought a muzzle for my pet duck....

Nothing flashy, but it fits the bill.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is.

I bought a fleshlight today

My m**... has gotten out of hand

I bought a universal remote the other day

and I thought to myself "Wow, this changes everything!"

When I bought pizza today my hands started to spasm

You could say I got Little Seizures.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday

I know its not the greatest gift, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for our anniversary...

I know it wasn't a great gift, but I loved seeing her face light up when she opened it.

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer

I have no idea what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

I just bought a thesaurus

I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, however when I got home I found that all the pages were blank! I have no words to describe how angry I am.

Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

I bought a locket today and put my own picture in it. Guess now I really am....

Independent

I bought a dog from a blacksmith

as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.

How do you milk a sheep?

Sell headphone for $549.

I bought my girlfriend a fridge for valentine's day..

A bit of an unconventional present, I know!
But you should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

Bought a Russian car...

The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"

I bought a chessboard cake from the bakers last week.

Took one bite, looked up, and said "it's stale mate".
He seemed surprised, said "no, mate".
So I handed him the cake and said "check mate".

I bought a wooden whistle

but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle,
but it steel wooden whistle.
So I bought a lead whistle,
but it steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a copper whistle,
but the copper steel wooden lead me whistle.
So I bought a tin whistle,
now I can whistle.

I bought my son a puppy for his birthday, but I accidentally backed over him in the driveway and killed him...

Sure is gonna be tough raising this puppy without him.

I almost bought a pen because it wrote underwater, but the biggest selling point for me was...

It wrote thousands of other words!

I bought a cheap thesaurus yesterday.

Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.

I just bought a thesaurus and when I got it home, all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I just bought a dog from the town blacksmith

When I took it home, it made a bolt for the door.

I bought Prince's greatest hits the other day for £20.

But I partied like it was £19.99

I bought my mom a fridge as birthday present

Her face really lit up when she opened it.

I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.

A friend of mine said, I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?
She did, I replied, But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, and he hasn't even used it.

He just sits and cries in his wheelchair.

I bought a trash compactor for my ex-wife

Or, as Victoria Secret calls it - a corset

I just bought some 12 year old scotch

Her parents weren't too happy with it though

I just bought an iPhone X

It still hurts where my kidney used to me.

I bought 6 cans of Sprite from the shop today..

But when I got home I realised I'd picked 7up

I bought the new Call of Duty WWII in France.

But for some reason, I can only be a spectator.

I bought a christmas tree today. The guy asked me if I was going to put it up myself.

I said, "No, I'll probably put it in the living room"

I bought a new set of Electric Garden Trimmers.

They're cutting-hedge technology.

I bought condoms at a store and the cashier said would you like a bag with that

I replied saying No she's rather pretty actually

I bought my wife a book on Mindfulness...

... but she didn't appreciate the present.

I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday...

But my wife wouldn't let me plug it in.

I bought a blindfold the other day, but I'm gonna have to return it.

I just can't see myself wearing it.

I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun

The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.

I bought a DVD on dealing with disappointment.

When I opened it, the box was empty.

I bought shoes from a drug dealer today...

I dont know what he laced them with but i have been tripping like crazy

I just bought an ABBA toilet.

What a loo!

I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I f**..., the room smells incredible.

I just bought a new dictionary at my local book store, but when I got home the pages were blank...

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

I bought two jars of queso instead of one...

The other one is just in queso-mergency.

I bought a dog from a blacksmith today

Within 10 minutes of being home he'd already made a bolt for the door

I bought a wooden whistle

...but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle. And it steel wooden whistle.
Then I bought a lead whistle. It steel wooden lead me whistle.
Finally, I bought a tin whistle. Now I can whistle.

I bought a grenade today...

Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.

I bought a new deodorant yesterday.

The instructions say "Remove cap and push up bottom." Wouldn't it be better to put it under your arms?

I bought a really nice 12 year old scotch

obviously his parents weren't very pleased

So, I bought my sister a fridge for her birthday.

You should have seen her face light up when she opened it.

Bought a deodrant stick today...

It said 'remove top and push up bottom'
I can hardly walk but my farts smell lovely.

I bought a pug for my wife.

Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles and layers of fat, the pug seemed to like her.

I bought my wife a mood ring.

Found out if she's in a good mood it turns green.
If she's in a bad mood it leaves big red circles on my forehead.

I bought a toilet brush since I saw one in pretty much everyone's bathroom...

but after giving it a try for a week I decided to go back to using toilet paper.

jokes about bough