Born Yesterday Jokes
38 born yesterday jokes and hilarious born yesterday puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about born yesterday that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Born Yesterday Short Jokes
Short born yesterday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The born yesterday humour may include short baby born jokes also.
- I tickled my little brother's foot I tickled my little brother's foot yesterday and my mom went crazy and said,
"Wait until he is born" - I tried to steal candy from a newborn baby, but he slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn't born yesterday.
- A joke about abortion. Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday. - I earned an Oscar for being the best producer. He was born and named yesterday after my long fight against fertility.
- Today is the only day in my new grandson's life that he can't say I wasn't born yesterday . Because he was. We are stoked btw
- When I was born I had the choice of being rich or having a good memory... I remember like it was yesterday!
- A rare white koala was born yesterday in an Australian zoo. At first they thought it was an albino, but realized that it didn't meet the koalifications.
- If you're a scam artist, you should probably never go for an aborted fetus After all, they weren't born yesterday.
- My attempt at trying to steal candy from a baby wasn't successful... Turns out he wasn't born yesterday.
- Abortion Joke Fetus 1: Hey there, Joe. Want to buy some magic beans?
Fetus 2: No, Steve. You can't fool me. I wasn't born yesterday.
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Born Yesterday One Liners
Which born yesterday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with born yesterday? I can suggest the ones about born and birth day.
- Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because he wasn't born yesterday
- Why can't you trick a miscarriage? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
- I am smarter than George Jetson Because unlike him, I wasn't born yesterday
- Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday
- Why are miscarried children very smart? Because they weren't born yesterday.
- Why can't you fool an unborn fetus? It wasn't born yesterday..
- Why are Mayflies so naive ? Because they were born yesterday
- -My son ruined the dishwasher yesterday -Oh no, that's bad, what did he do?
-He was born. - What do you call a Mexican baby born yesterday? Diego
- Why can't you fool an oboe red baby? Because he wisent born yesterday.
- Immaculate conception is spreading rapidly, with adult born yesterday!
- Why can't you fool a newborn baby? It wasn't born yesterday!
Born Yesterday Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about born yesterday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean babies born jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make born yesterday pranks.
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said; maybe they'll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
It's the day after my birthday and I feel like an idiot.
Probably because I was born yesterday.
A man goes to pick up his newly born son.
So the new father goes to the hospital and says to the doctor, "hi I'm here to pick up my newly born son."
The doctor says, "sure! Come right this way!"
The doctor goes across the room, picks up the baby, turns and drops the baby.
The father says, "what the--!"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry, im sorry!" Picks up the baby, brushes it off and walks closer to the new father.
Then, the doctor drops the baby again. But this time, giving it a little kick on the way down.
The father says, "hey! What's the deal?"
The doctor says, "I'm sorry I'm sorry!" He picks up the baby, brushes it off and walks closer to the new father.
This time, the doctor takes the baby by the ankle, waves it over his head and throws the baby at a wall. Both watching, the baby slides slowly down the wall. The father says, "my goodness! What on earth is wrong with you?! You're going to hurt my newborn!"
The doctor says, "hahaha, don't worry! Your baby was already dead yesterday!"