Born Jokes

Funniest Born Short Jokes

Short born jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The born humour may include short birth jokes also.

1. Doctor: (handing me my new born baby) I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made
2. My girlfriend just screamed at me for tickling my child's feet She said something about 'waiting until they're born'
3. For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero? Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.
4. When you are born you actually have 4 kidneys. But as you get older, two of them turn into adult knees
5. A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!
   They named him Ravi O. Lee
   Sorry
6. I was born male and I identify as male, yet... ... according to Tesco's Finest Sticky Toffee Pudding, I'm a family of four!
7. I now identify as invisible Although I was born visible, I am now trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where
8. Circumcisions are painful. When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year
9. Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
10. My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
    (This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).

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Born One Liners

Which born one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with born? I can suggest the ones about hood and alive.

1. What do you call children born in whorehouses? Brothel sprouts
   
2. When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body Then I was born
3. My son is 2934 days old today. He was born on 12/12/12.
    
4. Are people born with a photographic memory.... ....or does it take time to develop ?
5. Babies are born with 4 kidneys. When they grow up, 2 of them turn into adult knees.
6. My Chinese son was born before his due date We called him Sudden Lee
7. Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because he wasn't born yesterday
8. I used to feel like a man who was trapped in a woman's body. Then I was born.
9. My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready.
10. My son is a man trapped in a woman's body he'll be born in February
11. Chinese kid was born before the due date Parents named him Sudden Lee.
12. When i was born I was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for two years
13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
14. I was a stillborn child My mother didn't want me but I was still born
15. A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.

Baby Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny baby born jokes and even better baby born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why does the population of Detroit never change? Because as soon as a baby is born, some guy leaves town.
• I tried to steal candy from a newborn baby, but he slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn't born yesterday.
• I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead. Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.
• My mum loses it when I tickle my baby brother's feet It's something about waiting until he is born or whatever..
• Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital? It came out cordless!
• the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals.
• I told my pregnant wife that everything is going to change after this baby is born. Like my name, address, phone number.
• A Chinese baby was born way too early.. So, his parents named him Sudden Lee.
• When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop. He was known as the pasta barista baby.
• What do you call a prematurely born Chinese baby? Sudden Lee

Babies Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny babies born jokes and even better babies born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A chinese baby was born before due date His parents named him Earl Lee
• Mr and Mrs Wong have a baby When the baby is born, Mr Wong immediately knows that Mrs Wong has cheated on him...
  Because two Wongs don't make a white.
• What do you call three disabled babies born at the same time? Cripplets
• what do you call a chinese baby that was born too early? sudden lee
• What is the difference between Biology & Sociology ? If a newly born baby looks like his father, it is Biology but if he looks like the neighbor that's Sociology.
• Is it safe to say that babies born in the year 2020 will be called.... ...doomers?
• There was a royal baby... The royal baby was born 8 pounds, 6 ounces. With the exchange rate, that's like 12.50, American.
• A joke about abortion. Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
  Because it wasn't born yesterday.
• My friend tried to make it to the hospital before his baby was born. But he was dad on arrival.
• Just saw a fun fact that said, "Babies are more likely to be born on Tuesdays." As opposed to what? ADULTS being born on Tuesdays?

First Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny first born jokes and even better first born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was tickling my brothers feet last night... ...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first.
• My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born... ...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.
• I named my first son Ready On his first birthday, I changed his name to Freddy. Nowadays, people ask him, "Are you ready, Freddy?" And he replies, "I was born Ready."
• When a programmer is born, what are their first words? "Hello world!"
• What will Beyonce say after her first twin is born? I could have another you in a minute
  Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
• I'd say it's unfair that kids born into antivax families have to grow up believing that kind of stupidity is okay... ...but that problem sorta solves itself after the first few years, doesn't it...?
• What did Saint Peter name his first born son? Saint Repeater
• I became the world's greatest magician when I was born My first trick was making my father disappear.
• My wife was so angry today. She said that she'll never public breastfeed anymore. She also told me that she'll do it only after our first child is born.
• After a long discussion about our future, my partner and I decided to name our first born 'No Pun'. That way they'll certainly be aware that they weren't intended.

Second Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny second born jokes and even better second born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the best thing about being born on 9/11/99? You had the two biggest candles on your second birthday.
• A bear walk in to a bar Sits for 10 seconds, then orders a glass of water.
  bartender: why the big pause'?
  Bear: I was born with them.
• I went on a date with a girl who was born without feet. I forgot my wallet and asked if she could foot the bill.
  There was no second date.
• There's probably twin girls somewhere, born recently. The first one's name is Laurel, while the second one's name is Laurel.
• Would you believe me if I told you it takes 60 seconds to make a lollipop? There's a s**... born every minute.
• There was a Mexican boy born with two d**.... He named the first one Jose. What did he name the second one? Hose B

Last Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny last born jokes and even better last born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Tickled my little sisters foot last night and mom went crazy about it… Something about waiting until she's born
• I was asked at my last job interview if I was a natural born citizen? I had to tell the truth: "Nope. Cesarean!
• My grandmother was born under the sign of Cancer, which is ironic because last week she actually got killed by a giant crab.
• The apostles are at the last supper... Jesus is eating like a slob and spilling wine everywhere and Judas says to him "Were you born in a barn?"
• Did you know: The human brain starts working the moment you're born and never stops until.. your wife asks where you were last night!
• Our baby was born last week.
  When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
  When the kids are in college.
• I find dates interesting, what I find interesting is the coincidences that can crop up. For instance, it's been 6,877 days since I was born. And it's also 6,877 days since I was last inside a women.
• If Hunter Renfrow has another game against Alabama like the last two championships, I've decided that I'm going to name my first born child after him. Hopefully, Jessica will adapt to the new name.
• Dating in your late 30s is weird. I recently dated a girl who was born the year I lost my virginity That's the last time I date someone two years younger than me
• How long does the average black marriage last? Until the baby's born.

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Born Jokes

What funny jokes about born you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean owed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make born pranks.