Born Jokes

Funniest Born Short Jokes

Short born jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The born humour may include short birth jokes also.

1. Doctor: (handing me my new born baby) I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it Me: (handing baby back to him) Bring me the one my wife made
2. My girlfriend just screamed at me for tickling my child's feet She said something about 'waiting until they're born'
3. For my cake day, a joke I made up as a kid: Why is Aquaman such a dedicated super hero? Because he was born with a sense of porpoise.
4. When you are born you actually have 4 kidneys. But as you get older, two of them turn into adult knees
5. A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!
   They named him Ravi O. Lee
   Sorry
6. I was born male and I identify as male, yet... ... according to Tesco's Finest Sticky Toffee Pudding, I'm a family of four!
7. I now identify as invisible Although I was born visible, I am now trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where
8. Circumcisions are painful. When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year
9. Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
10. My daughter was born this morning, July 4th. It's the day I lost my independence.
    (This is also true, she was born around 2:30 this morning and baby and mama are doing well).

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Born One Liners

Which born one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with born? I can suggest the ones about hood and alive.

1. When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body Then I was born
2. My son is 2934 days old today. He was born on 12/12/12.
    
3. Are people born with a photographic memory.... ....or does it take time to develop ?
4. My Chinese son was born before his due date We called him Sudden Lee
5. My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready.
6. When i was born I was so mad at my parents I didn't talk to them for two years
7. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
8. I was a stillborn child My mother didn't want me but I was still born
9. A friend of mine and I were both born on 4/20. We always have a joint birthday party.
10. You hear about the Italian kid born without any arms? Poor kid never learned to talk.
11. What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets.
12. Happy Birthday to anyone who was born today! Sorry your birthday had to be Overshadowed.
13. When I was younger, I felt like I was trapped inside a womens body Then I was born
14. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year & a half
15. When I was born my father said "Now I'm certain I want two children!" I was the third.

Baby Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny baby born jokes and even better baby born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I tried to steal candy from a newborn baby, but he slapped my hand away. Turns out he wasn't born yesterday.
• I just got punched by my friend for trying to kiss his new baby on the forehead. Apparently, I have to wait for the baby to be born first.
• Did you hear about the baby that was born in a high tech. hospital? It came out cordless!
• the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals.
• I told my pregnant wife that everything is going to change after this baby is born. Like my name, address, phone number.
• When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop. He was known as the pasta barista baby.
• A chinese baby was born before due date His parents named him Earl Lee
• What is the difference between Biology & Sociology ? If a newly born baby looks like his father, it is Biology but if he looks like the neighbor that's Sociology.
• Is it safe to say that babies born in the year 2020 will be called.... ...doomers?
• A joke about abortion. Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
  Because it wasn't born yesterday.

First Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny first born jokes and even better first born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was tickling my brothers feet last night... ...and my mum woke up and had a right go at me. It was something about waiting until he's born first.
• My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born... ...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.
• I named my first son Ready On his first birthday, I changed his name to Freddy. Nowadays, people ask him, "Are you ready, Freddy?" And he replies, "I was born Ready."
• When a programmer is born, what are their first words? "Hello world!"
• What will Beyonce say after her first twin is born? I could have another you in a minute
  Matter fact he'll be here in a minute
• What did Saint Peter name his first born son? Saint Repeater
• I became the world's greatest magician when I was born My first trick was making my father disappear.
• My wife was so angry today. She said that she'll never public breastfeed anymore. She also told me that she'll do it only after our first child is born.
• After a long discussion about our future, my partner and I decided to name our first born 'No Pun'. That way they'll certainly be aware that they weren't intended.
• I'm gonna name my first born son "Phones" So when the stewardess asks if he "would like some headphones" he can answer "Absolutely!"

Second Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny second born jokes and even better second born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the best thing about being born on 9/11/99? You had the two biggest candles on your second birthday.
• I went on a date with a girl who was born without feet. I forgot my wallet and asked if she could foot the bill.
  There was no second date.
• There's probably twin girls somewhere, born recently. The first one's name is Laurel, while the second one's name is Laurel.

Last Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny last born jokes and even better last born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was asked at my last job interview if I was a natural born citizen? I had to tell the truth: "Nope. Cesarean!
• My grandmother was born under the sign of Cancer, which is ironic because last week she actually got killed by a giant crab.
• The apostles are at the last supper... Jesus is eating like a slob and spilling wine everywhere and Judas says to him "Were you born in a barn?"
• Did you know: The human brain starts working the moment you're born and never stops until.. your wife asks where you were last night!
• Our baby was born last week.
  When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
  When the kids are in college.
• I find dates interesting, what I find interesting is the coincidences that can crop up. For instance, it's been 6,877 days since I was born. And it's also 6,877 days since I was last inside a women.
• If Hunter Renfrow has another game against Alabama like the last two championships, I've decided that I'm going to name my first born child after him. Hopefully, Jessica will adapt to the new name.
• Dating in your late 30s is weird. I recently dated a girl who was born the year I lost my virginity That's the last time I date someone two years younger than me

Chuck Norris Born Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris born jokes and even better chuck norris born puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When Chuck Norris was born… The doctor said Congratulations! You have two healthy parents.
• When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
  He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
• The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
• When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
• Did you know that Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin? That he built.
• Chuck Norris was born feet first.
  It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
• July 4th is Independence day.
  And the day Chuck Norris was born.
  Coincidence? I think not.
• Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
• Chuck Norris dropped an apple once, and gravity was born.
• Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
  Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Born Jokes

What funny jokes about born you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean creator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make born pranks.