Border Patrol Jokes
23 border patrol jokes and hilarious border patrol puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about border patrol that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Border Patrol Short Jokes
Short border patrol jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The border patrol humour may include short border crossing jokes also.
- A German is visiting France. The border patrol officer asks, "name?"
Hans Mueller.
"Occupation?"
No, just visiting this time. - I see a border patrol car drive by... So I ask my mexican co-woker if he has his visa. He looks at me cofused for a minute then says "no no I only have debit card" (true story)
- What kind of dogs will patrol the Trump wall? Border Collies!
I just came up with this after not sleeping for 30+ hours. Sorry for the cheesy goodness. - I've heard of this "shipping" so I tried it with 2 people I got arrested by border patrol for human trafficking.
- The Australian border patrol is so good... they even stop the good internet from reaching Australia.
- Why is Diego's slogan "Go Diego Go" It was the last thing his mother said before she got shot by the border patrol
- I was crossing the border from USA to Canada, and the border patrol Mountie asked me if I had any guns. I said, what do you need?
Steve Wright gets credit - A r**... is being interviewed by Border Patrol officials "Your name please?"
Ahmed Aziz
s**...?
5 times a week!
No, no, I mean man or woman.
Don't matters, sometimes even goat. - Why does border patrol use airplanes to search for i**... crossing the border? Because they are always hiding in plane sight
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Border Patrol One Liners
Which border patrol one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with border patrol? I can suggest the ones about border wall and patrol.
- Why does the american border patrol guard take Xanax? To stop hispanic attacks.
- U.S Border Patrol Putting the panic in Hispanic
- How do you pick up Mexican Girls? Border Patrol.
- What was the border patrol agent's greatest regret? The Juan that got away.
Uproarious Border Patrol Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about border patrol you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean highway patrol jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make border patrol pranks.
Uvalde citizen gets pulled over
A very cute blonde was pulled over for speeding by an Uvalde motorcycle officer. When he walked up to her window and opened his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the policeman's Ball."
The cop replied, "No, ma'am. You're thinking of the Border Patrol , the Uvalde Police don't have b**...."
A border patrol official comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump...
"Sir, because of the trauma of being separated from their parents, three Brazilian children fell deeply sick last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated. He sinks back in his chair, murmuring "oh my god" to himself over and over. Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...
...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"
A Mexican gets caught by a border patrol agent..
The border patrol agent says to the Mexican,
"If you can put these 3 words in a sentence I will let you go. The words are green, pink and yellow."
The Mexican thinks for a second,
"The phone goes green green green, I pink it up and I say yellow."
An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...
He is immediately stopped by Paxtani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he's the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.
Paxtani border officer: "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?"
Afghan: "Don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?"
Two Mexicans are making an attempt to cross the U.S. border.
A border patrol agent spots them and yells out, "HEY, what do you think you're doing??"
One responds, "We're invading America!"
The agent says, "Just the two of you???"
"No, we're the last two. The rest are already there!"
-Props to John Cleese
Canadian wildfire from BC turned back at USA border by customs and boarder patrol.
Upon admitting to smoking "fields of m**..." on its way to the border, the fire was denied entry, and banned for life from entering the US.