Booth Jokes
123 booth jokes and hilarious booth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about booth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud and have a good time with these funny jokes about phone booths, photo booths, dunking booths, kissing booths and confessional booths. Enjoy reminiscing about your time spent in the fairground hall and explore the fun menu of booths available.
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Funniest Booth Short Jokes
Short booth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The booth humour may include short cabin jokes also.
- Civil War spoilers Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.
- I took my kids to the aquarium. "If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!" I suggested to my son.
"Grow up," said the woman behind the ticket booth. - A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump. They've both given it a lot of thought.
- Man outside phone booth: Excuse me, you've been on the phone.. ...for 29 minutes and you haven't spoken a word .
Man inside: I am talking to my wife! - My great grandad used to make fabric booths for clairvoyants and fortune tellers.. He was a con-tent creator.
- My voting machine broke in my voting booth today... I guess you could say it had electile dysfunction.
- I went through the Lincoln tunnel today and I gotta say, I'm not ok with the name of where you pay your toll… …The John Wilkes booth ?!?!
- Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth? Because he had a javelin through his head.
- Why don't religious people like rap music? All rappers do is hop in the booth and confess to a bunch of crimes they've committed.
That's Catholicism. - Nietzsche tells a joke. A man walks into a bar.
The man sees himself sitting at a booth in the bar.
The bar blinks out of existence.
God is dead.
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Booth One Liners
Which booth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with booth? I can suggest the ones about conference room and boo who.
- How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth? All of them.
- Did you hear about the John Wilkes photo booth? It only takes head shots.
- You know who's a real showstopper? John Wilkes Booth
- What do you call a booth babe at Apple's events? ICandy
- You know which actor is best known for his headshot? John Wilkes Booth
- Have you guys scene the new john Wilkes booth movie? I've heard it's mind blowing.
- What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck.
- Why was the sacajawea coin made? because the Trail Of Tears had a toll booth.
- I got a voting booth to decorate my house today it really polls the room together
- What do you call a sad cantaloupe in a telephone booth? Melon call ya
- Did you hear about the party in the phone booth? It was off the hook
- What would Sonic say if he ran a booth at a carnival? Come on, step it up!
- You know your voting in San Francisco when... The voting booth has a glory hole.
- Why was Lincoln shot? Because he was sitting in John Wilke's booth.
- Why does Al Gore hate eating out? Because he always gets an inconvenient booth.
Phone Booth Jokes
Here is a list of funny phone booth jokes and even better phone booth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth? A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tostitos - What does a corpse and a phone-booth have in common? I don't need permission to come inside either.
- What's black, white, covered in blood, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a spear through her head!
- Why did the football player tackle the phone booth? To get his quarter back! Hahahahahha
- How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone booth? Throw in a tin of beans
- How many dead babies can you fit in a phone booth? 324.5
- Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
- How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion. - Phone booths are disappearing It's getting harder and harder to leave the matrix.
- Yo mama so fat Yo mama so fat she b**... dialed me from a phone booth.
Confessional Booth Jokes
Here is a list of funny confessional booth jokes and even better confessional booth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop m**.... He said Sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop.
Photo Booth Jokes
Here is a list of funny photo booth jokes and even better photo booth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Some day my prints will come!
- Our friend, Lincoln never made it to the kissing or photo booth.. Because of John Wilkes Booth.
Telephone Booth Jokes
Here is a list of funny telephone booth jokes and even better telephone booth puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [Racist] How many Ethiopians fit in a telephone booth? All of them.
- Yo Mommas so s**... she got lost in a telephone booth.
- Yo momma's so fat, the only way to get her out of a telephone booth is to grease her thighs and throw a t**... in the street.
Silly & Ridiculous Booth Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about booth you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean desk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make booth pranks.
What did Biggie Smalls say to the restaurant host?
Gimme The Booth!
Drunk in confession booth.
A drunk staggers into a church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to just sit there. Finally,the priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"
So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]
and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don't worry, he's totally heme-less".
Corniest joke I know.
Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh
Since We're Posting Jokes From Our Grandpas...
A twenty-something with a rainbow colored mohawk is sitting at a booth at a restaurant. After a while he realizes an old man sitting there staring at him. He goes back to eating but the old man is still staring at him. Eventually, he goes over and asks "look, can I help you?" and the old man says "well son, years ago I had s**... with a parrot and I was wondering if you might be my son."
What do you pay at the s**... booth?
The death toll.
Indian Election Joke...
How can you get one million Indian youths into a polling(voting) booth at the same time?
Tell them there's a Call Center Job Inside!
I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the v**... Mobile booth.
It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs.
a man goes to confess after 25 years
So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of p**... n**... calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"
A man walks into a church confession booth ...
"Father, I have a confession to make; I had a t**... with two hot teachers."
"Well my son, we all have our transgressions. I want to you say 10 Hail Mary's".
"Father I can't do that, I'm Jewish !"
"Then why are you telling me this ? "
"Father, I'm telling EVERYBODY"
Breakfast Wife
(Overheard at work)
I was eating breakfast at a dinner with the old lady when the man at the next booth says to his wife, "Please pass the sugar, sugar".
A short time later at the booth on the opposite side of me, the man says to his wife, "Please pass the honey, honey".
Annoyed, my wife says to me "How come you never talk sweet to me like that?"
"Ok", I say, "Please pass the bacon, pig."
Confession
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confessional booth and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally,the drunk replies:"No use knockin' mate, there's no paper in this one either."
A joke I heard some time ago
A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."
A mathematician goes to a confession booth...
He says to the priest: 'Father, I have a sin to confess'
The priest says: 'Don't worry, tell me and the lord will see if he can forgive you'
The mathematician says: 'I used the opposite side instead of the adjacent to calculate cos.'
A drunk enters...
...a confessional booth. The priest is waiting for the sinner to speak up, but the drunk doesn't say a word. After a while the priest coughs... nothing... he coughs again... nothing. The priest was patient until now, but enough is enough: he starts b**... on the wooden grid. The drunk finally speaks up:
"You're knocking to no avail, buddy... there ain't any toilet paper here either..."
Which actor's performance had Abraham Lincoln on the edge of his seat?
John Wilkes Booth.
An 80 year old man walks into a confessional booth
He tells the priest that he just had a t**... with two 20 year old girls. Father said "I'm glad you confessed, adultery is a sin, and your penance is to say five Hail Maries." The 80 year old replied, "I've never said the Hail Mary, I'm Jewish."
The good father asked, "Then why did you come here to tell me this?"
"I'm 80 years old and just had a t**...," he replied. "I'm telling everyone"
A guy takes his date to the carnival...
....and asks his date what she wants to do. She replies "I want to get weighed." So he takes her to the Guess Your Weight booth and continue their date.
They go on a few more rides and again he asks her what she wants to do. "I wanna get weighed" she says once again. So they get her weighed again and go one a few more rides and then he takes her home.
When she gets home, her mother asks her how her date went.
She replied, "Wousy"
A dad takes his kid to the zoo.
Kid: "Daddy, will they ever let that gorilla out of there?"
Dad: "Let's get going now boy, this is just the ticket booth."
Why would John Wilkes Booth kill Abraham Lincoln?
You would too if the guy in front of you at the Theatre was wearing a Top Hat!
John Wilkes Booth is one of history's greatest stand-up comedians
I heard he really killed at Ford's Theatre.
What was Lincoln's worst decision as President?
He should have asked for a table, instead of a Booth
What did Adele say to the priest when she got into the confession booth?
Hello from the other side
Border crossing
I was driving back to Canada with my family when we came to the border. After a short wait in line, we get to the guard booth, and he asks if I have anything to declare. With a sigh, I turn to my wife and say, "Honey, I want a divorce."
A drunk staggers into the confessional booth at church...
The priest enters the other side and asks: Can I help you my son?
In a strained grunting voice, the drunk says: Yeah, have you got any paper?
A joke I told to my feminist girlfriend
Me: What lies between the kitchen and the bedroom?
Her: I don't know, tell me.
Me: Not a voting booth.
If Ruth Bader Ginsburg became a robber targeting highway toll-collection stations ...
Then she would become Booth Raider Ginsburg.
A drunk stumbles out of a bar...
...and meanders down the street. He makes his way into a church and enters the confessional booth. A priest is there and waits a minute, but the drunk says nothing. He waits 5 minutes, then 10, and still there's silence. Finally, the priest knocks loudly on the dividing wall, and the drunk pipes up, "Sorry, pal, I can't help you. I've got no paper over here, either."
I heard Abe Lincoln was having a fine old time at Ford's Theater...
that is until he asked John Wilkes Booth for a headshot.
Did you hear about the Al Gore documentary on the Abraham Lincoln assassination?
"An Inconvenient Booth"
A lonely man sits at the bar...
He watches a goofy looking little man sitting and talking to a gorgeous lady, eventually walking out arm in arm.
He asks the bartender "How does he do that?"
Bartender replies "I dunno. He's here every night, and takes home the prettiest lady in the bar every time. And all he does is sit back there in that booth and lick his eyebrows."
A frog, a duck, and a skunk want to go to the movies together
A frog, a duck, and a skunk want to go to the movies together. But, when they go up to the ticket booth, the man working there tells them that only the frog and the duck can watch the movie.
"What?! Why can't I?" asks the skunk.
"Well, the movie tickets cost $1 each. The duck has a bill and the frog has a greenback, but you've only got a scent!"
Forgive me, Father, for I am sinning.
I'm jerking off right now, in this confession booth.
To the Bible.
And don't act so surprised, you were the one who told me to come to Jesus!
An ugly girl was sitting alone in a restaurant
I feel bad for that girl. I said to my date.
Moments later, a man who appeared to be her boyfriend walked over and sat down in her booth.
I feel bad for that guy.
Marty Mcfly stole the DeLorean and went back in time to kill John Wilks Booth. Why?
Because he was trying to kill the precedent
Why did a time traveller kill John Wilks Booth?
Because he was trying to kill the precedent
Did you hear about the supreme court justice who was caught stealing the scraps from restaurant booths?
Police identified her as Booth Raider Ginsburg.
Father, forgive me, for it has been a long time since I've been to confession,
A man went into a confessional booth and
discovered a fully equipped bar with beer on
tap and a wall stocked with a dazzling array
of the finest Cuban cigars. When the priest
walked into the room the man said, Father,
forgive me, for it has been a long time since
I've been to confession, but I must say the
confessional box is much more inviting than
I remember.
Get out, the priest ordered. You're on
my side.
The two women at the kissing booth made a bet to see who could raise the most money
All day long it was neck and neck
Why does John Wilkes Booth get all the best acting jobs?
He has all the best headshots.
(Credit to my friend Isabella)
Scientists in Mississippi have invented a chamber that turns people into racists while they're inside.
They're calling it a "voting booth".
A young catholic boy goes in for his first confession
A young catholic boy goes in for his first confession.
As the boy goes into the booth he asks the priest, "What are you doing father?"
The priest answers, Its called m**... and soon you will be doing it."
The boy asks, "Why do you say that father?"
Priest: "Because my hand is getting tired.
John Wilkes Booth
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theatre."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
What do John wilkes booth, lee harvey oswald and kobe bryant have in common?
They never miss a shot
A drunk enters a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth sits down but says nothing
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there, not saying a word.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
To which the drunk mumbles, Sorry, can't help you. There's no paper on this side either.
There are two booths set up at a Trump rally.
Someone asks "why isn't anyone lined up at this booth?"
"It's a kissing booth."
"Why's everyone over at the other booth?"
"That's the punch line."
A magician walks up to a fisherman's booth.
The magician pulls a quarter from the fisherman's ear. The fisherman looks at the magician annoyed. The magician says can you do any better? The fisherman says sure and then pauses. The magician says annoyed "How are you going to start the trick. The fisherman just says... Pick a cod, any cod!
A man has a booth at a fair with a talking cat...
A woman walks up and asks, "Can your cat really talk?"
The man turns to the cat and asks, "Which leader is attributed to the most deaths in human history?"
The cat says, "Mao."
The woman, who is annoyed by this ruse, walks away.
The cat turns to the man and asks, "Should I have said Genghis Khan?"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church...
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin', there's *no* *paper on this side* either!"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic church
He enters a confession booth and sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk man shouts, "Ain't no use knocking! There's no paper on this side either!"
A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk in a bar. As they approach the bar, they see a blood donation booth. The rabbit hops to the nurse to be the first to donate. The nurse looks at him and ask: What's your blood group?
The rabbit says: "I dunno, I think I might be a Type-O."
In a confession booth...
ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.
PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.
ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.
PRIEST: You forgot pride.
ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.
Teenage boys
Two teenage boys go to confession. In the booth the first boy admits having s**... with a girl but refuses to name her. The priest asks, 'It wasn't Mary Jones, was it?' The boy says 'No, Father it wasn't'. The priest asks' 'Was it Angela Brown?'. The boy replies 'No, Father. it wasn't. 'It wasn't Jane Carter by any chance?' The boy says 'No father it wasn't' The priest gives up and says 'Well for your penance say fifty Hail Mary's and leave half your pocket money in the poor box.' When the boy leaves his friend asks him how it went. He replies 'Not bad, a $5 fine and three great leads!'
An elderly couple are at McDonald's
They order one meal between the 2 and go and sit down.
The guy in the booth next to them notices they've only got one meal and offers to buy them another one.
The elderly man says "no thank you we share everything"
So the elderly man then cuts the burger in half and gives half to his wife. She starts to eat and the elderly man just sits there.
The man in the booth looks over again and this time notices the elderly man isn't eating yet. So he asks "why aren't you eating as well?
The elderly man replies "I'm waiting for the dentures"