Boot Camp Jokes
18 boot camp jokes and hilarious boot camp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boot camp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Boot Camp Short Jokes
Short boot camp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boot camp humour may include short summer camp jokes also.
- My six year old niece made up this joke. I think she may be a comedic prodigy. Why did the sweater go to boot camp?
To warm up! - What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp? I don't know. I'm retiring next month.
- At Pirate boot camp BOATSWAIN: "That concludes orientation. Any questions?"
ME: (raises rubber hook hand) "Why do they call it trimming the mainsail? Why not mast abating?" - To trainees at boot camp in regards to their SOs: "If you left a big piece of cake on your kitchen table the day you joined the military... would you expect it to be there when you got back?"
Share These Boot Camp Jokes With Friends
Boot Camp One Liners
Which boot camp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boot camp? I can suggest the ones about camps and kid camp.
- What do you call a soldier who never made it past boot camp A cop
- Where do shoes receive their military training? Boot Camp
- Why couldnt the egg make it through boot camp? Cuz he cracks under pressure.
- What is the first thing they do at boot camp? Take the privates out and inspect them.
- Why did the T-rex fail boot camp? He couldn't do pushups
Uplifting Boot Camp Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about boot camp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boarding school jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boot camp pranks.
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school?
A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
A lot of you probably heard this before. I heard it for the first time and felt like sharing
Washing hands
(Joke was funnier before covid)
A soldier and a sailor are at a bar near where they are both stationed. They are standing next to each other at urinals and the soldier gets done first and washes his hands. The sailor gets done and goes right toward the door instead of washing his hands
Soldier: hey sailor, in boot camp they taught us we need to wash our hands when we get done in the bathroom
Sailor: in boot camp they taught us not to pee on ourselves
The IT man
One of Microsoft's finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.
The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!
The Czechoslovakian and the German
A Czech and a German entered into a contest. The point of the contest was to guess the right 7 numbers and win an all expense paid trip to Alaska to hunt a grizzly bear. The contest ended and it turns out the two men guessed the same winning numbers, so both got to go on the hunt.
After arriving in the camp and getting settled they decide to head out tomorrow with the guide to hunt the mighty bear. But the next day the guide is feeling under the weather so the two men decide to go out alone. After hiking through rugged mountains for hours they come into a clearing and see two bears, a male and a female. The German takes aim and pulls the trigger... "Click"! The all expense paid trip didn't come with ammo. The sound startled the bears and they charged. The Czech pulls his knife and rushes at the bears. The German tries to pull his p**... but stumbled backwards, hit his head, and fell into a river. When he comes to he sees the guide kneeling over him.
After being briefed on the situation they
decide to track the bears and save the Czech. They find the female bear chewing on a boot, the guide takes aim and... "Bang!", the bear is dead. The two men cut open the bear and her stomach is empty except for a few fish. The German utters the immortal words," The Czechs in the Male"