Booming Jokes
64 booming jokes and hilarious booming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about booming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Booming Short Jokes
Short booming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The booming humour may include short boomer jokes also.
- People think that just because I grew up in the ghetto back in the 80s, i should walk around carrying a big ol' boom box on my shoulder. But I refuse to go with that stereotype.
- If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom' Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?
- Black people sure love them some boom boxes. I'm not racist,
That's just their stereotype. - *BOOM* Mom: what was that
Me: my shirt fell
Mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that
Me: I was in it - What do you call an airplane that flies backwards? a receeding airline.... bada boom! The little bros joke book is pure gold haha
- If A is for Apple and B is for bear
What is C for?
A nice explosive that goes BOOM! - Grant Imahara walks up to the pearly gates... As he looks around, confused, a booming voice speaks to him across the clouds...
...Myth confirmed. - Prediction: There will be a minor Baby Boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033 we will witness the rise of The Quaranteens.
- A friend of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan.. making land mines that look like prayer mats. He's doing very well, business is booming and Prophets are going through the roof.
- I went shopping the other day for cherries and a new microphone. Bought a BING, bought a BOOM
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Booming One Liners
Which booming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with booming? I can suggest the ones about growing and explosion.
- Wives are like grenades... Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
- Black people love boom boxes .. I hate to generalize, but it's their stereotype ;-)
- Went shopping for cherries and microphones... bought a bing, bought a boom.
- Woman Wives are like grenades… – Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
- How do you say goodbye in Arabic? "BOOM!"
- I asked my cousin if business is booming. He sells explosives.
- What did the Little Boy say when he went to Japan? Ka-boom.
- Who wants some onomatopoeia? BOOM! There it is
- Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!! - Black people love boom boxes. I guess it's just their stereo type..
- I should become a bomb specialist... It's a booming industry.
Heh. - Been thinking of buying property in Syria... heard the housing markets been booming.
- What starts with an A and has a boom at the end? Allahu akbar
- I Recently opened up a Bomb shop. Business has been booming lately!
- We need to get into the fertilizer industry... I hear business is booming.
Cheeky Booming Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about booming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baby boomers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make booming pranks.
I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements...
So far you could say Bismuth is booming.
A man gets into a fight with his wife. (Put together terribly)
They live right on the coast of California, the man gets kicked out of his house by his wife so he goes for a walk along the beach. The man suddenly stops when he hears this loud booming voice.
Terry(Thats his name from now on) I see you have gotten into quite the fight with your wife, its troubling to see you so distraught because you are a very loyal husband, because you have a great relationship with me i am willing to help you. Name one thing you want and i will give it to you.
Terry looks around and is dumbfounded, "God?!" he asks. "Yes it is i, please what could you ever desire?" Terry thinks about it for a little bit and says, "I want a private highway to.... Japan, Italy, and Sweden." God asks Terry if he is sure about that, because that would use a lot of the worlds resources and could cause some serious problems. Terry realizes that wish would be very selfish, so he thinks for a minute and looks up to god and says "God? I know what i want". What is it Terry? Terry asks god to understand everything there is about women, so he can repair his problems with his wife.. God pauses for a minute and says to Terry "So was that highway 2 or 4 lanes?"
A blonde decided to go ice-fishing
...so she packed up all her gear and went ice fishing. She cut a hole and put the fishing line down the hole. After 15 minutes, after feeling nothing, she wasn't sure there would be a fish, so she prayed to her God, asking for a fish to please come bite her line. A few minutes later, a loud booming voice said: "THERE'S NO FISH THERE!" So she packed up her stuff and she found another spot. Again, she prayed for a fish to biter her line, but to no avail. Again, she heard a loud, booming voice, "THERE'S NO FISH THERE!" Still feeling hopeful, the blonde moved her stuff and cut a third hole in the ice. This time, without even praying, the loud booming voice said, "GET OFF THE ICE, THE GAME IS ABOUT TO START!"
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer.
All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish."
At once the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish"
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, my wife says that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing", and how I can make a woman truly happy."
After a few minutes God said, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
A man stumbles and falls into a well....
....and grasps a spindly root that stops his fall but not before he has traversed a hundred feet. His grip loosening, he cries out in desperation, "Is there anybody up there?!"
He looks up only to see a circle of the sky. Suddenly, the clouds part and amidst them comes forth a beam of bright light and a booming voice thunders, "I, the Lord am here. Let go of the root and I shall save you."
The man hesitates before he yells, "Anyone else up there?!"
A man goes ice fishing...
He takes out his ice pick and begins to hack away. Suddenly, he hears a booming voice from above say, "There are no fish there."
He moves to a new spot and begins again. Again comes the voice, There are no fish there either."
He tries a third spot, and again the voice informs him, "Not there either."
Frightened, the man calls out, "Is that you, God?"
"No," the voice booms, "I'm the rink manager."
A hiker stuck on a branch
A hiker slipped over the edge of a cliff, and would surely have fallen to his death except for a branch he managed to grab, just a few feet from the top. He clung there in t**... and yelled, "Help! Can anybody hear me?" A booming voice said, "I am God. Just let go of that branch and I'll catch you." There was a long silence until the hiker hollered, "Can anybody else hear me?"
So this atheist explorer is in trouble...
...with a tribe of savage cannibals. He's cornered with no possible way out when he exclaims in his desperation 'God, I'm s**...!'
Suddenly the clouds part and a booming voice says 'No son, you are not. Take that rock near your right foot and throw it at that old cannibal with the large headdress!'
The explorer obeys, and the chief of the tribe lies dead on the ground.
The voice says 'NOW you're s**...!'
A black man and a white man are arguing about whether God is black or white
They decided to climb to the top of the tallest mountain and call out to God with the hopes of getting a response.
"God! Are you white or black?"
"I am who I am!" comes a booming response.
"See," says the white guy. "He is white!"
"Why would you assume that?!" asks the black guy. "He could just as easily be black!"
"If he was black, he would say, 'I is who I is."
Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?
Because business is booming.
I recently opened a s**... bomb store
Business is booming
Say what you will about ISIS...
But you can't deny their s**... business is booming.
A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach...
...of an island and is surrounded by a group of warriors.
I'm done for, the man cries in despair.
No, you are not, comes a booming voice from the heavens. Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab a spear and push it through the heart of the warrior chief.
The man does what he is told, turns to the heavens, and asks, Now, what?
The booming voice replies, Now you are done for.
So i just started a coffee shop in baghdad...
...and business is BOOMING!!
Two kids were wondering if God is black or white..
So they prayed and asked him. A booming voice from the heavens answered "I am what I am." One kid said, "Well, I guess he's white." The other said, "How can you tell?" "Well, if he was black, he would've answered, 'I is what I is.'"
God's race
One day a black kid and a white kid were debating whether god was black or white. Their debate was turning heated when suddenly the heavens opened and a booming voice and God said "I am what I am!"
Upon hearing this, the black kid gave up his argument and agreed that God is white. The white kid was puzzled and asked the black kid why he changed his mind. The black kid said, "God just said 'I am what I am' if he was black he would've said 'I is what I is'"
[Politics] i**... immigrants are lucky
The government is helping them escape the US
...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs
What did the rich t**... say?
Business is booming.
Business has been booming in the north since Trump's inauguration. . .
They're all stopping in on their way to Canada
A religious old lady prayed everyday for wealth...
She had lived a life free of sin and had suffered greatly through no fault of her own. Every day she went to her local church and prayed:
"God, i have been all my life, please, let me win the lottery"
Every day for many years she did this, until one day, the church roof split open and a booming voice commanded:
"WELL AT LEAST MEET ME HALFWAY AND BUY A TICKET!"
You know...
KFC'S business has been booming ever since Abraham Lincoln became president
I started a company that makes land mines that look like prayer mats.
Business is definitely booming, because prophets are going through the roof.
I should start selling life insurance for ISIS members.
I'm sure it's gonna be a booming business.
Why have there been so much t**... attacks lately?
Because terrorism is booming.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time
All of a sudden, he hears a voice. There are no fish under the ice! He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: There are no fish under
the ice!
He nervously looks up and asks, Lord? Is that you?
No, this is the rink manager!
A man has just died.
As his soul leaves his body and begins to float towards the clouds, he hears a loud, booming voice.
**"Come. Come towards the light, my son."**
And so he does.
Meanwhile, atop his cloud, God laughs, as another human hits his bug zapper.
A drunk Minnesotan decides to go ice fishing
He starts sawing a hole in the ice, but just then a booming voice says, "You will find no fish there."
The drunk ignores it and continues sawing. The voice repeats, "You will find no fish under the ice."
The drunk looks up and says, "God, is that you?"
The voice says, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."
My new tour company
Started a company giving tours of the city of Pripyat, business isn't booming yet but I have received several glowing reviews
It's a great time to invest in retail clothing stock.
Pants and underwear sales in Hawaii are booming.
A guy prays to god. please let me win the lottery .
Nothing happens and the next week he prays again I really need the money, please let me win the lottery .
Another week passes and still nothing so he goes to the top of a mountain and screams out if I don't win the lottery, I'm going to jump! . And then he hears a booming voice...
Buy a ticket!
A Muslim opens a cafe in Hawaii called Aloha Snackbar
Business is booming.
A man is riding through the highway listening to the radio...
Suddenly the radio starts booming: Traffic alert. There is a car driving on the wrong side of the road in Route 54. Please avoid entering the highway until further notice.
The man, confused at this alert thinks to himself One car? There are hundreds of them!
Excuse me, are you a booming real estate property?
because I'm about to pump my liquid assets into you
Janitor in the church
The church janitor is cleaning the large overhead ducts from the inside when he notices a nun praying by herself and decides to have some fun. With the echo and a booming voice he proclaims "your prayers will answered", but the nun doesnt even flinch. He tries again "my child, your sins are forgiven", and again no response from the nun. Thinking she might be deaf, he tries one last time "I Jesus will lead you to salvation", upon which the nun firmly responds "shut up, I'm talking to your mother"
What did the t**... tell his friends
Business is booming ^^^^^^killme
My explosive prayer mat business is booming
They say prophets are going through the roof!
Did you hear about the dynamite company
Well business is booming
Two friends are sitting in the bar drowning in their miseries......
The first one goes "I lost everything with my divorce, wealth, mansion, cars, bank balance etc. and here I am sharing a rented apartment with you. Nothing can be worse than this."
The second one assures him that his situation is much worse than him.
"How??" Demands the first one.
"Well I had a booming business and all the riches" he moaned. "Then it all came crashing down, with losses incurring, I lost my wealth, mansion, cars, bank balance etc. And here I am sharing a rented apartment with you."
"How's your situation worse than mine" growled the first one.
"You see my friend" sighed the second one, "I still have my wife!"
Jesus Returns
A booming voice descends from the heavens. Jesus has returned. I have come to take you unto heaven. People on earth are besides themselves with joy. Thank you Lord, they scream, we are ready. Jews only! He says. But Lord, what about the millions of Christians? And Jesus says, what's a Christian?
A priest and an atheist are playing golf.
The priest is okay, but the atheist is s**.... He keeps missing his shots. Every time he misses a shot, he says 'Damn, missed!' The priest got more and more agitated at the use of the word 'damn', and eventually snapped. He said, 'Do not use that word or God himself will strike you down!' There's an immediate ruble from the sky, and a bolt of lighting shoots down and vaporizes the priest into ash. A booming voice rings out across the golf course, striking fear into the golfers, and says:
'Damn, missed!'
The Voice
A guy decides to go ice fishing. He goes out on the ice and begins cutting a hole to drop his line through. Suddenly a loud, booming voice speaks from far above: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Somewhat spooked, he moves to another spot and tries again. Once again, the deep voice from above: "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Now the guy is thoroughly frightened. He looks up timidly and asks, "Is that you, Lord??" The voice replies, "NO! THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!"
A Dumb Blonde goes Ice Fishing
They head out onto the ice with their bucket, fishing gear, and a big drill. As they put the drill bit on the ice surface, a voice booms out from all around:
**DON'T DRILL INTO THE ICE!**
The dumb blonde looks around fearfully and says meekly, "G-G-God? Is...
The booming voice replies:
**NO. THIS IS THE RINK MANAGER!**
