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Books And Authors Jokes

44 books and authors jokes and hilarious books and authors puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about books and authors that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Books And Authors Short Jokes

Short books and authors jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The books and authors humour may include short books and author jokes also.

  1. Have a turkish joke A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"
  2. A man recently took an author to court after he was sold a book that only contained five words. He received a short sentence.
  3. Turkish Joke A prisoner goes to the warden and asks for a book. The guard makes a phone call then says:
    We don't have the book but we have the author across the hall.
  4. Read a book about gay marriage in Ireland The authors' names are: Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
  5. Turkish gallows humor A prisoner goes to the prison library, and asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author."
  6. Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today. JK
  7. In Turkey, a prisoner goes to the prison library and asks for a book. The librarian answers Unfortunately, we do not have the book here. But the author.
  8. Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month? It was a period piece.
  9. What did they rename the Norse god of lightning after he turned into gold and began writing books? Author
  10. I just finished reading a book about preventing skin injuries and burns... The author classified the book as "non-friction"

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Books And Authors One Liners

Which books and authors one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with books and authors? I can suggest the ones about book and author and library books.

  1. Do you know about the Chinese author who wrote a million page book? It was Wei Tu Long.
  2. What author could write the best book on extracting mercury from the earth? Hg Wells
  3. What happens when the God Of Thunder starts writing books? He becomes an author.
  4. Did you hear about the author who writes using invisible ink? Here's a list of his books:
  5. I just got done writing a book! I think I have authoritis...
  6. What book are you reading? Some new Danish author.
  7. This book of incantations is useless. The author failed to run a spell check.
  8. The author of the book "Childish Retorts" died today. RIP Ewan Whosarmy
  9. Breaking News: Criminal author gets 5 years in book case Check out his story!
  10. What happens if you write too many books? What?
    You will get author-itis.
  11. What do you call a teeth specialist who writes books? An author-dontist
    Wahey!
  12. Heard about the gay author? His new book will be coming out soon.

Books And Authors Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about books and authors you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean books jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make books and authors pranks.

Turkish Political Humor

Current Turkish gallows humour: A prisoner goes to the prison library, asks for a specific book. The guard tells him, "we don't have that book... but we do have the author." From Moshik_Temkin on Twitter

A boy brought his new book to show his friend....

He boasts to his friend: "The author must have been very thorough when he wrote this book, he took 10 years to write it!"
"That's nothing", the friend replies, "have you heard of the man who was sent to prison and took 20 years to finish a sentence?"

I appreciate it when authors decide to go for an embossed cover on their book

It's always a nice touch

Several clergy have co-authored a new book.

Its titled, "Ministers Do More Than Lay People"

The author of the Harry Potter books was trying so hard to be funny. But it wasn't funny to me.

J.K. I was Rowling

Why are there no clowns in the Lord of the Rings books?

The author considered it, but realized that the introduction of such a character would be only a Tolkein Jester.

In some quarters, bookstores may be considered dinosaurs, but odd customers are evergreen, as these requests to bookstore clerks prove.
"Can you tell me who the author of Shakespeare is?"
"I'm looking for a book, but I only know the title, not the author. It's called Dante's Inferno."
"I definitely don't want nonfiction. I like autobiographies and history."
"Do you have Shakespeare in English?"

A Pole, a German and a Russian go to prison...

A Pole, a German and a Russian are sent to prison. They each receive a 50-year sentence with no parole. The guard, when putting them in their cells, shows mercy on them and offers to give each of them a small supply of their favourite things to occupy their times. The Pole picks a collection of books by his favourite author, the German picks a case of strong beer, and the Russian picks a huge pack of cigarettes. After the 50 years pass, the guard checks on his prisoners. The Pole thanks the guard for allowing him to gain knowledge in his time, the German complains that he ran out of alcohol a week into his sentence, and the Russian asks the guard for a lighter.

This just in:

"Criminal author gets 6 months in book case"
Feel free to check out the full story!

Library Inventory

A librarian in a small book collection is just finishing up the process of cataloging his physical inventory and is combing through the stacks to double-check his work. Suddenly, he sees a bit of crinkled cover just peeking out behind a shelf in the very back of the building. Confused, he steps quietly over, reaches down, and gently wriggles the attached book free.
In his hands is an old, dusty copy of the The Hobbit, which he knows he hasn't included in his count. He's never even seen this book before! He quickly shuffles to the back room and sits down at his computer. Tapping away, he records the title, print date and location, and inventory code number. Unfortunately, right as he was entering the author name, about to finally finish long months of recording, he threw an unexpected Tolkien error.