Book Jokes

Funniest Book Short Jokes

Short book jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The book humour may include short album jokes also.

1. If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 harry potter books, it spells out a secret message HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
2. I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book... She laughed at me, and said
   "Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
   So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
3. Helen Keller once described a cheese grater as... "The most violent book I have ever read"
4. Breaking News Trump's personal library just burned down The fire consumed both books and he hasn't even finished coloring the second one
5. My parents read the book I was writing. They said the main character wasn't likeable. It was an autobiography...
6. I decided to kill off some characters in the book I am writing It would definitely spice up my autobiography.
7. I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She whispered: "They're right behind you."
8. They say Kim Jong Un has read every single book That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader
9. Librarian: Can I help you? Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-
   Librarian: Being psychic?
   Dave: No...
   Librarian: One day that will work.
10. A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover

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Book One Liners

Which book one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with book? I can suggest the ones about journal and fiction.

1. What do u call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for years? Church
2. Two mice are chewing on a film roll One says, "I liked the book better"
3. What do you call a book club that's been stuck on only one book for years? The Church
4. Why does Kim Jong Un love books? Because he is the Supreme Reader.
5. Kim Jung Un loves to read books, what does that make him? A glorious reader.
6. I've been reading a book on euthanasia... It's so good I can't put it down.
7. Look, I'm all for coloring books... but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.
8. I read a book about Stockholm Syndrome. At first I hated it, but by the end I loved it.
9. $2.1 million worth of textbooks were stolen the other day All eight books were recovered.
10. A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,
11. "I'd like this book on revenge please" Cashier: "You'll pay for that."
12. Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words.
13. What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years? Church
14. I have written a book on Penguins In hindsight, paper would have been better.
15. I just booked some cheap seats from United. They were in the nosebleed section.

Writing A Book Jokes

Here is a list of funny writing a book jokes and even better writing a book puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm writing a book called 'Stop Overreacting.' If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
• Venus Williams and Bruno mars were sitting at a bar talking about where they were from. ​
  The bartender said, "Hey - you two should write a book!"
• I decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing. It would definitely spice up my autobiography a little.
• I'm writing a book about WD-40. It's Non-Friction
• Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.- Pavlov's Dog
• I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.
• Do you think they would write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot? They really should.
  It would be a real Page-turner
• My wife said, Why don't you stop with your terrible jokes and write a book instead? I said, That's .....a novel idea.
• I've just finished writing my book on penguins... My wife thinks it would be better on paper.
• A friend of mine is writing a book on Californian sea lions. I assured him that paper would be much easier.

Book Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny book name jokes and even better book name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Today, when my son asked, "Can I have a book mark?" I burst into tears... 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
• There was a man named peta who was reading a book called "Animals" He didn't like it so he put it down
• My son came to me & said: 'Can I have a book mark?' 14 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Jeff
• What do you call a book that lists the names of every drug on Earth? Addictionary
• If comic books have taught me anything it’s that something named OMICRON is going to be near impossible to defeat unless we all work together to defeat it.
• Today my son asked, "Can you lend me a book mark?" I immediately burst into tears.
  12 years old and he doesn't know my name is Brian.
• Finally they named the book about the Titan Submarine.
  20,000 Leaks Under the Sea
• Why was the band named "Books" So no one would judge them by their covers
• Read a book about gay marriage in Ireland The authors' names are: Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.
• My kid just asked "can I please have a book mark?" 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian

Book Week Jokes

Here is a list of funny book week jokes and even better book week puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Blind friend and a cheese grater I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
• The Donald Trump Presidential Library burned down last week. Sadly, both books were lost, and one of them had just barely been coloured in.
• It's three weeks late, but the "History of Clocks" book I ordered finally arrived. It's about time.
• I bought a book online called "How to scam people online" It's been weeks, I still haven't received it
• A blind person gets a cheese grater as a Christmas gift from a friend. A week passes and he calls his friend and says to him : " That's one of the most violent books i've ever read".
• I bought my blind friend a cheese grader for his birthday. A week later…
  He said it was the most violent book he's ever read…
• I ordered a book of puns last week. I didn't get it.
• I'm reading a book about meeting deadlines. I should have finished it a week ago.
• To everyone who received a book from me at Christmas... They're due back at the library in two weeks...
• Book club leader: "So last weeks assignment was Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. What did everyone think?" [No one responds]

Book Cover Jokes

Here is a list of funny book cover jokes and even better book cover puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• You can't judge a book by its cover Now you can't even assume it's a book
• My friends and I started a band and called it 'Books' so.. No one can judge us by our covers.
• I wrote a book about famous pianists It covers all the key players
• It is hard to find a good book They are all under cover
• The real proof that one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover The real proof that one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover is that math text books have pictures of kids having fun on the front.
• Never judge a book by its cover Use the paragraph on the back instead..
• You shouldn't judge a book by its cover... Unless it's a book about making good first impressions.
• Just like people, I never judge a book by its cover... Unless that cover is brown. In which case I roll up my windows and lock my car doors.
• Did you hear about the book cover designer? He made the front page.
• Never judge a book by its cover But judge a Mexican restaurant by their chips and salsa

Uproarious Book Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about book you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make book pranks.