She laughed at me, and said
"Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
"The most violent book I have ever read"
It was an autobiography...
Not only was it embarrassing, but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.
That must be why everyone calls him the supreme reader
As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?
The clerk said, Kiss my ass… get out… and stay out!
The man said, Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah that's the one"
Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-
Librarian: Being psychic?
Dave: No...
Librarian: One day that will work.
Cost me a fortune in stamps
He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
1. Murderer 2. Police telling me everyone is dead 3. That book I ordered about positive thinking
If no one buys it I'm going to kill myself.
Then the librarian caught me.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
One says, "I liked the book better"
So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die.
A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"
The Church
The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."
She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
I found this history text book from 1873 at a flea market today, and it's super old school. On page 23, there is a thing that says look on page 150 in pencil in the top margin- so I go to page 150 and the guy had written you are a fool for looking . Fuckin got me bro. Trolled me 143 years in the future good for him.
But then the librarian yelled at me and made me leave the library.
It's so good I can't put it down.
Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?
He asks the receptionist if the pornography is disabled. To which she replies, "No. We just have regular pornography, you sick fuck."
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah that's the one"
She said, "It's not in yet".
I replied, "YES, That's The Book!"
The librarian asks "hard back?"
The guy replies "yeah little heads too."
Because you have a lot of fucking problems I don't want to deal with.
Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.
Yoda: Hello, welcome, you are.
Man: Hi, I'd like to book a triplex for the weekend.
Yoda: Sorry I am, only duplex we have.
Man: Are you sure? I really need the triplex.
Yoda: There is no tri, only du.
If she doesn't like the book she can go fuck herself.
At first I hated it, but by the end I loved it.
A key!
This is one of the oldest jokes ever recorded. It was found in a 10th century book of Anglo Saxon poetry.
I'm sad as a coconut.
Did you ever wanted to be joking with someone about Book? Well, here are the best Book dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Book pick up lines to share with friends.