Book Cover Jokes
55 book cover jokes and hilarious book cover puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about book cover that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Book Cover Short Jokes
Short book cover jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The book cover humour may include short phone cover jokes also.
- A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
- My friends and I started a band and called it 'Books' so.. No one can judge us by our covers.
- The real proof that one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover The real proof that one shouldn't judge a book by it's cover is that math text books have pictures of kids having fun on the front.
- You shouldn't judge a book by its cover... Unless it's a book about making good first impressions.
- Just like people, I never judge a book by its cover... Unless that cover is brown. In which case I roll up my windows and lock my car doors.
- My grandad always said, "You should never judge a book by its cover." And it's for that reason that he lost his job as chair of the British Book Cover Awards panel.
- I just bought a book about musicians playing songs written by other people, and all the information in it is wrong. Turns out you can't judge a cover by it's book.
- Some joker lost his book logging all of his chocolate-covered English toffee bar purchases. It was a Heath ledger.
- I appreciate it when authors decide to go for an embossed cover on their book It's always a nice touch
- Did you know that Harry Potter sold so many books it is possible to cover all of Brazil with them? They also did it when they were in tree form
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Book Cover One Liners
Which book cover one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with book cover? I can suggest the ones about book and book name.
- You can't judge a book by its cover Now you can't even assume it's a book
- I wrote a book about famous pianists It covers all the key players
- Why was the band named "Books" So no one would judge them by their covers
- It is hard to find a good book They are all under cover
- Never judge a book by its cover Use the paragraph on the back instead..
- Did you hear about the book cover designer? He made the front page.
- Never judge a book by its cover But judge a Mexican restaurant by their chips and salsa
- Two books walk into a bar... Or at least they tried. Couldn't afford the cover.
- I managed to read a 1000 page long book from cover to cover. The dictionary.
- I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.
- Chuck Norris is the only person who could truly judge a book by its' cover.
- Don't judge a book by it's cover... But by it's contents
- what do you call a book covered in holes? **the holy bible**
Book Cover Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about book cover you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean book and author jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make book cover pranks.
They say you can never judge a book by its cover. But it’s the only way to
judge a tribute band.
A poor minister was having trouble managing his church.
The income was pitiful, the plumbing rattled, the roof leaked, the air conditioning didn't work, and the church didn't have the funds for any repairs.
The minister got a brilliant idea.
He bought a book about hypnosis, and read it from cover to cover.
At the next service, he took out a watch and chain, swung it back and forth, and lulled the congregation into a hypnotic trance.
He said, "I want everybody to walk down the aisle and put $20 in the plate."
They did, and he had the church's roof fixed that week.
This worked so well that the next Sunday he decided to do it again.
Taking his watch out, he proclaimed, "I want everybody to come down the aisle and drop $100 in the offering plate."
They did, and he got the air conditioning fixed and the parking lot redone.
His third Sunday, he got to thinking, "I haven't been paid in a long time. I deserve a little money."
He started swinging his watch again, and he thought, "I deserve a lot more than a little bit of money. I deserve enough to go overseas and have a cottage on the beach. I deserve a lot more."
He got so excited about what he was fixing to receive, that his hands started to sweat and as the watch slipped from his grip, he yelled:
"S**t!"
It took him two weeks to air out the church.
An Irish, a British, and American soldiers...
...had just helped each other escape from an Axis prisoner camp in WW2 Germany. As they run through the Bavarian forest, they hear alarms sounding, and soon afterwards, they hear dogs barking and guards yelling to each other.
The barking and yelling gets louder and louder, and the escapees realize that they'll be caught if they keep on running, and decide to take cover by climbing up separate trees.
The dogs start circling the tree, and jumping up and down around the trunk on the very tree the American has climbed. The guards shout "Come down or we'll shoot!" Thinking quickly, he quickly calls down "who! who!" The German guards say to each other "Das ist eine owl", and call the dogs off.
The dogs follow the trail to the second tree, and the guards call up "Come down or we'll shoot!" The Brit calls down "CAW! CAW!!!" The guards say "Ahh. Das ist eine crow".
The guards follow the dogs to the third tree where the Irishman had climbed. Again they called up "Come down or we'll shoot!" The Irishman thought for a moment and then called down "Moo! Moo!"
***NOT MINE: ** Shamelessly stolen from an Irish joke book I had as a kid. Yes, I am Irish.*
I wish the book "How to be an adult" came in hard cover...
.. it would be that much more effective at bonking s**... people in the head.
chunk norris is god
1.Chuck norris killed the Dead Sea.
2.When Chuck norris does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is ...pushing the earth down. ...3.There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Chuck norris allowed to live. 4.Chuck norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 Chuck norris can divide by zero.
6.Chuck norris can judge a book by it's cover.
7.Chuck norris can drown a fish.
8.Chuck norris can delete the Recycle Bin.
9.Chuck norris once got into a fight with a VCR player.Now it plays DVDs.
10.Chuck norris can slam a revolving door
A lonely woman checked into a resort...
A lonely woman checked into a resort and decided to call one of the numbers she'd seen advertising regarding male e**... services and sensual massages.
She flipped through the phone book, found an ad with a picture of a particularly strapping young man and picked up the phone.
"Hello?" a male voice answered. "How may I help you?"
"I hear you give a great massage, and I'd really like to experience one," the woman said.
"Well, actually, I should just be straight with you. I'm in town, I'm all alone and what I really want is s**.... I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring toys, rubber, leather, whips and everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night. Tie me up and cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream. I want to do it all. How does that sound?"
"That sounds great," the man replied, "but you need to press 9 to make an outside call... this is Hotel Reception"
Library Inventory
A librarian in a small book collection is just finishing up the process of cataloging his physical inventory and is combing through the stacks to double-check his work. Suddenly, he sees a bit of crinkled cover just peeking out behind a shelf in the very back of the building. Confused, he steps quietly over, reaches down, and gently wriggles the attached book free.
In his hands is an old, dusty copy of the The Hobbit, which he knows he hasn't included in his count. He's never even seen this book before! He quickly shuffles to the back room and sits down at his computer. Tapping away, he records the title, print date and location, and inventory code number. Unfortunately, right as he was entering the author name, about to finally finish long months of recording, he threw an unexpected Tolkien error.
Why God never got a PhD
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
Religious Cowboy
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a toad walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the toad's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the toad. "Your name is written inside the cover."
The Lost Bible
One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."
My old teacher once told me, "Never judge a book by its cover...
...unless that book is h**...."
Never judge a book by its cover..
My Math textbook has a picture of someone enjoying themselves... I did not enjoy myself at all.
A joung Jew loved to read books
He loved to read so much that he read all of the books in the library in his town. So one day he went to a bookstore and asked if they had a book that he haven't read yet. An old Jew that worked there said yes and handed the boy a strange, covered in dust book titled "DEATH". He said to the boy:
"Here is the book that you've probably never heard of. I can sell it to you for $10 if you promise me to never, ever open it at the last page."
The boy agreed and bought the book. He read it and liked it very much, but, as promised, he didn't open it at the last page. One day he could bear it no longer and checked the last page. "Suggested Retail Price: $5".
A father regularly tells bedtime stories for his son
One day, the son asks the father if he could finally choose the book he wanted his father to read for him. The father reluctantly agreed and the son points to a book with a clock on the cover. The father immediately puts away the book, saying that he was saving it for later on.
Months pass when finally, the father retrieves the book. The son questions the father about why he has decided to bring it out now and the father responds, "it's *about time*".
BESTSELLER
Teacher: "What Should Be In A Book To Make It A Bestseller?" Pappu: "A g**... The Cover & No Cover On The Girl"
I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of Free bird being played. I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic. I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.
Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.
A red velvet cake is still a vanilla cake
It's like putting a h**... cover on a math book.
A terrible hairdresser was known for cutting customers' scalps with scissors.
One such customer, fed up and covered in wounds, told the hairdresser off.
The hairdresser snapped back, "Hey buddy, show some appreciation! You only paid $5 for this haircut, and I've already used $10 worth of bandages!"
\- From "Philogelos", an ancient Greek joke book dated to around 200 AD.
It's a miracle
A devout old shepherd lost his favorite Bible while he was out looking for a wayward lamb. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The shepherd couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, It's a miracle!
Not really, said the sheep. Your name is written inside the cover.