booger Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious booger puns

I wrote this little ditty just seconds after waking up.

An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.

The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."


What did the booger say to the finger?

Pick on someone your own size.


What's the difference between a prince and a booger?

A prince is the heir the throne, a booger is thrown to the air.


Use the word beautiful in a sentence...

Little Billy's first grade teacher asked the class if they could use the word beautiful in a sentence.

Little Billy's hand shot straight up, waving in the air like he's trying to shake off a booger, but the teacher ignores him because he is Little Billy.

"Sally," says the teacher, "can you use beautiful in a sentence?"

"The world is a beautiful place," says Sally.

"That's good," says the teacher.

Billy's hand still waves.

"John," says the teacher, "can you use beautiful in a sentence?"

"My teacher is beautiful," says John.

"That's very nice," says the teacher.

Little Billy is still waving his hand and refuses to be ignored.

"Yes?" says the exasperated teacher, finally calling on Little Billy.

Little Billy shoots up out of his seat, stands up and proudly says...

"Last night at dinner my sister told my dad she was pregnant, and he said 'beautiful. Just fucking beautiful.,"


What do you call a gay booger?


*ba-dum tss*


Is that a booger?

No it's (s)not.


What did the tooth say to the booger?

What are you doing here?


Why did the booger cross the road?

So it wouldn't get picked on.


Baby if you were a booger

I would pick you!


I thought it was a booger...

But itsnot.


GOP Debate

Donald Trump has a big dick.

Donald Trump implied that Marco Rubio had a tiny penis

Ted Cruz ate a booger



The other day my girl friend called me her booger sugar

Because she likes to do me in secret In the bathroom.


What's your favorite type of booger?

I know, it's hard to pick.


Why are sloths so green?

Because they can't move fast enough to flick a booger


Where do boogers go when you sneeze?



Sherlock Holmes: "Watson, what is this greenish substance found near the victim?"

Watson, knows it's a booger but is having a brain fart:

"Nose shit, Sherlock"


Boogers are like your family members...

People will judge you if they see you eating them


What's the definition of a snail?

a booger with a crash hat.

Google it.


How do boogers like to travel?

Ah choo choo train.


Your mom is so fat...

she sat on a quarter and a booger came out of Washington's nose.


What did one booger say to the other?

"Run for the hills, the fingers are coming!"


I had the worst day EVER!!!

I found a hair in my booger and it totally ruined my booger :(


You think it's a booger...

But it's not


What weights 15 pounds, is green, and sits on the bottom of the ocean?

A whale booger.


Why did the booger cross the road?

Because the people on the other side were picking on him


Why did Santa flick a booger on Beyonce?

bc shes a cunt


What do you call a booger that you've been squishing for awhile?



Yo momma's so fat...

...she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of George Washington's nose!


What did the cavity said to the booger when they met . . .

why are you here?


What are the most funny Booger jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Booger? Well, here are the best Booger dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Booger pick up lines to share with friends.


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