The Best 65 Boobs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Boobs jokes. There are some boobs doobies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these boobs boob job puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Boobs Jokes and Puns

Boobless calculator joke

There was a woman who had 69" boobs.
For her those were two, two, two heavy.
She went to 51st Street to see Dr X.
The doctor operated on her 8 times.
After that she became 55378008

Turn it upside-down and it says “BOOBLESS.”

I understand that the doctor needs to feel my wife's boobs

But at the dinner table, it's just rude

12 boobs sounds good

Dozen tit

Boobs joke, 12 boobs sounds good

Women with no boobs have the worst attitudes.

You'd think they would have already gotten everything off their chests.

Now that I have lived through a plague...

I get why most renaissance paintings are of fat people lounging around with their boobs and dicks out

A teacher asked her students to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Little Johnny raised his hand. The
teacher hesitated because she had
been burned by Johnny before. She
finally decided there was no way he
could damage the word 'fascinate', so
she called on him. Johnny said, "My
Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten
buttons, but her boobs are so big she
can only fasten eight."

It would be so nice if Pinocchio was a girl with boobs.

Wooden tit?

Boobs joke, It would be so nice if Pinocchio was a girl with boobs.

Did you hear about the Women with 12 boobs?

Sounds ridiculous, Dozen Tit?

What do you call someone crazy about boobs?

A chestnut

My friend made fun of me for being a wrestling fan. He said, "You know that stuff is fake right?"

I said, "So, are your wife's boobs, but I still enjoy them for three hours every Monday night."

Boobs are like the sun.

You can stare at em longer if you're wearing sunglasses.

You can explore boobs titty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean boobs tittie dad jokes. There are also boobs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My neighbour with big boobs has been gardening topless all day.

I just wish his wife would do the same

If women with big boobs work at Hooters, where do women with one leg work?


A woman goes to the doctor to ask how she can get bigger boobs...

The doctor says: "just rub a piece of toilet paper between your boobs every day"

1 month later she still has no result despite doing exactly what the doctor asked. The woman goes back and asks angrily: "doc, i rub a piece of toilet paper between them every day, yet my boobs are still the same size! How is this possible?"

The doctor says:" Well, i dunno it worked with your ass..."

Husband in bed.

Woman looks deeply unhappy at herself in the mirror while getting ready for bed. She exclaims, Just look at me!..My hair is grey, wrinkles under my eyes, my boobs sag, my legs fat (GROAN!) . Husband, say something nice! Please!

Husband: Well, at least your eyesight is okay!

The tattoo parlour in my town is offering a free tattoo if you go in and flash your boobs.

It's a Tit for Tat special.

Boobs joke, The tattoo parlour in my town is offering a free tattoo if you go in and flash your boobs.

Imagine having 12 boobs

Sounds weird dozen tit?

What do you call the space between fake boobs

Silicon Valley

Police: Anything you say can and will be held against you.

Me: Boobs ....

I doubt that men were turned into stone only by looking at Medusa's face.

I'm sure they looked at her boobs too.

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Boobs without nipples.

Are pointless

What do you call a toy bear with boobs?

A tiddy bear

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

Like the waist. It's called that because you could easily fit another pair of boobs there...

What do you call a tornado filled with boobs?

A titty twister.

The tattoo parlour in my town is offering free tattoos to anyone who would flash their boobs.

It's a tit for tat special.

Me: *staring at Medusa's boobs*

Medusa: "Hey buddy, my eyes are up here."

Me: *already rock hard*

Do you know how you can tell that women mature faster than men?

Men don't grow boobs until they turn 40.

(Credit goes to the old guy who made me chuckle today at work)

My wife has a lawyer's boobs

They're firm

Why did God give women boobs and nipples?

To make suckers out of men!

Yall watch out. My lady said there is some weirdo running around the neighborhood.

She said he is offering a bottle of wine if the woman shows him her boobs.

She also says the wine taste terrible.

What do boobs on talking trees and spirits have in common?

They are both entitties.

Why is a waist called a waist?

Another pair of boobs could have easily fit there

Bra Sazes

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!

(A) Almost boobs.
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

Why could you see the dyslexic girls boobs?

Because she set the bra too low.

Earlier I was beaten up by a woman.

I was on an elevator and she entered. She has big boobs and I was staring at them when she said "Can you please press one".

So I did.

Mouths are the new boobs.

Only okay to expose them in public for the purpose of feeding.

I like how boobs are called differently for some women

Like it's called udder for your mom

^i'm ^sorry

At our tattoo studio, women can flash their boobs to get a discount

The business model we operate on is "tit for tat".

If a girl with big boobs works at Hooters, where does a girl with one leg work?


I've been binging TAHM.

Disney makes female hips very big, anime makes female boobs very big

And america makes female waists very big

If a man knows a womens eye colour after the first date

She has small boobs.

Boobs without nipples would be...


Blonde Woman Wants To Look Young Again

A blonde woman heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.

The milkman read the note, and thought there must be a mistake. He asked the women if she meant 2.5 gallons.

The blonde woman said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want the milk to be pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."

How are toy trains similar to boobs?

Both are made for kids but dad is the one who gets the most out of them

One of the most beautiful things in the world is a women's heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. It's a cradle of love, emotions and compassion. It like an ocean of secrets.

And of course its covered with boobs.

What do train sets and boobs have in common?

They're both meant for children but grown-ups love them.

A wise man once told me, Martinis are like boobs...

One is not enough, but three are WAY too many.

What is it called when someone prefers boobs over Butts?


What do you call identical boobs


What is the difference between a male and a female ghost?

A female ghosts has BOObs

LEGO bricks are like boobs...

...They're designed for kids, but it's the grown-ups who have more fun with them. Oh, and it hurts when someone steps on them.

Wow why did my programmer wife grow big boobs?

Because She is a Full-stack Developer

What do you call upbeat boobs?


A joke I heard on South Park today

When the Milk Man brought the lady her milk, she invited him in and then stripped off all her clothes. Standing there naked, she told the Milk Man to take the milk and fill the bathtub with it. The Milk Man asked the woman "Do you want it pasteurized?" "No", the lady said, "just up to my boobs."

What do toy trains and boobs have in common?

They're both made for kids but daddies get to play with em.

Wood Boobs

I once saw a carpenter making boobs from a wooden log. Decided not to insult him by making a joke of it. It would have been silly.

Wooden-tit !!!

Big boobs

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I figured it was time to get out of the house. My neighbor with the big boobs has been gardening topless all afternoon," the guy tells the bartender. "That doesn't sound too bad," the bartender laughs. "Well it wouldn't be if his wife would try it occasionally," the guy replies.

My mother has the biggest boobs in the world

My mom always get raging mad whenever I mention that she has the world biggest boobs. She tells me that is improper to be introducing my two brothers to strangers like that and I should instead introduce them by their proper names.

Boob Job

Wife says to her husband, "I've been saving up and I can finally afford that boob job I've been wanting for years."

Husband: Why spend all that money on surgery? Just take toilet paper and rub it between your breasts.

Wife: How will that make my boobs bigger?

Husband: I don't know but it has sure worked for your ass!

The word "Boobs" is a three dimensional diagram

The "B" shows how they look from above, the "oo" how they look from the front and the "b" how they look from the side.

If Medusa had bigger boobs...

There would be less rock hard men.

What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with big boobs?

One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean

My Ex-wife Wanted a b00b Job.

In an effort to save money, I told her that taking a few sheets of toilet tissue and rubbing it between her boobs twice a day would make her boobs grow. So my ex did this diligently for 3 months. Finally, after seeing no improvement, she came to me with a look of disappointment on her face. She asked "Are you sure rubbing toilet paper between my breast will make them grow?"

I replied, "Yeah; look how big it made your ass."

After decades of marriage, a woman tells her husband that she wants breast implants...

The husband tells her that breast augmentation surgery is too expensive and that they should try to find some alternatives.

"Well, what would you suggest?" asks the wife.

The husband responds, "At least once per day, you should take a wad of paper and slide it between your boobs. If you do it long enough, your boobs will get bigger."

"How the hell is that supposed to give me bigger tits??" she exclaims.

"Well, it's worked for your ass, hasn't it?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the boobs mammary jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working boobs third boob piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes