Bonnet Jokes
11 bonnet jokes and hilarious bonnet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bonnet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the fun of Bonnet Jokes! Laugh at the puns and rhymes created by replacing the word "hat" with "bonnet", which can refer to both an Easter Bonnet or the hood of a car. See if you can find the door and hood jokes hidden in this humorous article!
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Funniest Bonnet Short Jokes
Short bonnet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bonnet humour may include short hats jokes also.
- A man opens the bonnet of his VW Beetle. His jaw drops - "Oh my god, someone stole my engine!"
Then he goes round the back and opens the trunk. "Phew, thankfully I have a spare." - My girlfriend said I have a bee in my bonnet. I said I do otherwise it would be an "onnet"!
- After wooing women on a night out, I like to impress them. So I make sure I polish the bonnet of where I live.
- An Eskimos car breaks down and a man from New Zealand pulls over to help him out. He has a look under the bonnet and says looks like you've blown a seal the Eskimo replies So what you f**k sheep
- LPT: If you c**... into a parked car and don't have a paper and pen.. simply use a key to scratch your insurance details on to the bonnet.
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Bonnet Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about bonnet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean top knot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bonnet pranks.
My car broke down this morning, so I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine. Amazingly, he said, Hello Dave! You're a handsome fellow and very nicely dressed, too!" I realised the problem straight away.
bat flattery
n Eskimo was out for a drive
An eskimo is out for a drive one day when his car breaks down and is forced to call a mechanic. Finally the mechanic arrives and he sets to work, looking under the bonnet until he locates the problem. He looks up at the Eskimo and says, "You've blown a seal, mate" to which the Eskimo hastily replies, "No I haven't! That's just frost on my moustache."
Dad there is something my boyfriend told me, that I didn't understand. He said that "I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."
"Tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his d**..., I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking from his exhaust pipe."
An old man found a box in his attic.
Inside were two knit bonnets and $250,000. He went to his wife and asked if she knew anything about it. She explained, "Every time I was mad at you, I'd knit a bonnet." The man was happy to find that, in 40 years of marriage, he'd only angered his wife twice. "OK, that explains the bonnets, but what about the money?" the old man asked. His wife smiled and said,"That's from selling all the bonnets I've made over the years."
Drunk...
A drunk lurches out of a pub at lunchtime.
After getting his alcohol-induced double vision together, he notices a car parked by the kerb with its bonnet up and a man leaning against the car with his arms folded and looking very grumpy.
He staggers over and manages to slur, "What's the matter, mate?"
The grumpy guy scowls at the drunk and says, "Argh - piston broke!"
"Yeah - so am I!" replies the drunk and lurches off...
Myrtle and the Beetle
Myrtle is driving her Volkswagon Beetle down the road and sees another little old lady, also with a Beetle, pulled over with the hazards on. Myrtle pulls over and asks, "Is everything ok?"
The other lady replies, "My darn Beetle has broken down. I popped the bonnet and it looks like the whole engine has gone missing!".
"No worries, I can help you." said Myrtle. "As it happens, I have a spare engine in my boot!"
"I got her!''
A drunk old man gets into a taxi Mercedes E Class. After a short time, he asks, "Why do Mercedes cars have that on their bonnet?"
The driver jokingly replies, "It is there so I could aim pedestrians."
He accelerates sharply, narrowly missing out an old lady which was passing the street. After that, he heard a massive thump.
"What the b**... h**... was that??" the driver asked
The drunk man replies, "You missed her, I got her with my door".
Oh no...
A man in uniform pulled me over and said, "Sir can you get out the car please." I complied and he put handcuffs on me then pushed me onto the bonnet.
"Can you please tell me what I've done officer?"I asked.
"Oh I'm not an officer." he said, unbuckling his belt.