Uproarious Bonfire Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
"The neighbors hate us."
"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."
The neighbors hate us.
"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."
Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire
Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"
Dad: "It's true! I saw it with my own eyes"
He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.
What was a girl who knew math called in the 1500s?
A bonfire
What do the French call a good fire ?
A bonfire
Two Parents Get Arrested
A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.
It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.
After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.
Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?
Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.
In the Middle East during the Crusades, what was the best way to describe someone?
By taking all of their books, parchment and pencils and burning them in a bonfire
A Russian, an American, and a Canadian are sitting around a bonfire...
...when suddenly, the Russian throws his bottle of v**... into the fire. The American jumps up and asks, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian replies, "In Russia, we have so much v**...! We do this all the time!"
The American, wanting to one-up the Russian, grabs a handful of cash and throws it into the fire, and says, "In America, we have so much money! We do this all the time!"
The Canadian grabs a Native.
If you see a hedgehog in your bonfire remove it
After 40 minutes for well done then season with salt and pepper.
My kids keep making fun of my Alzheimer's
Wait till they wake up Christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire!
What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night?
Piratechnics...
You can explore bonfire firecracker reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bonfire cookout dad jokes. There are also bonfire puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How does Tom Wolfe dispose of the debris from his bathroom remodel?
He has a bonfire of the vanities.
I'll let myself out.
Our next door neighbour's anniversary is on Bonfire night.
Thankfully.
A child is lost in a wood...
Or should I say ON the wood. It's a really big bonfire.
When I'm feeling depressed I use Tinder...
...to light some wood and start a bonfire, where I can warm up my spirits like a real man.
