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Bonfire Jokes

20 bonfire jokes and hilarious bonfire puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bonfire that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out these hilarious bonfire jokes to keep the party going this Bonfire Night! From fire-related puns and jokes to firecracker-inspired one-liners, we've got the jokes for your fireplace gathering. Add a bit of atmosphere and laughter to your celebration this year!

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Funniest Bonfire Short Jokes

Short bonfire jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bonfire humour may include short campfire jokes also.

  1. How do winter solstice enthusiasts stay entertained during the long night? They gather around a bonfire and swap stories of winter magic.
  2. In the Middle East during the Crusades, what was the best way to describe someone? By taking all of their books, parchment and pencils and burning them in a bonfire
  3. If you see a hedgehog in your bonfire remove it After 40 minutes for well done then season with salt and pepper.
  4. My kids keep making fun of my Alzheimer's Wait till they wake up Christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire!
  5. Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys.
  6. How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
    Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
  7. How does Tom Wolfe dispose of the debris from his bathroom remodel? He has a bonfire of the vanities.
    I'll let myself out.
  8. When I'm feeling depressed I use Tinder... ...to light some wood and start a bonfire, where I can warm up my spirits like a real man.
  9. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
    Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
  10. Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire?
    Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.

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Bonfire One Liners

Which bonfire one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bonfire? I can suggest the ones about forest fire and fireplace.

  1. What was a girl who knew math called in the 1500s? A bonfire
  2. What do the French call a good fire ? A bonfire
  3. What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night? Piratechnics...
  4. Did you hear about the bonfire? I heard it was lit.
  5. Our next door neighbour's anniversary is on Bonfire night. Thankfully.
  6. A child is lost in a wood... Or should I say ON the wood. It's a really big bonfire.
  7. What's Smokey the bear's least favorite song? Bonfire by Childish Gambino

Aggie Bonfire Jokes

Here is a list of funny aggie bonfire jokes and even better aggie bonfire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many Aggies does it take to build a bonfire? It's like dividing by zero. It can't be done
Bonfire joke, How many Aggies does it take to build a bonfire?

Bonfire joke, How many Aggies does it take to build a bonfire?

Uproarious Bonfire Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about bonfire you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fireworks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bonfire pranks.

"The neighbors hate us."

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

The neighbors hate us.

"The neighbors hate us."
"Why?"
"Well, you remember when we had that bonfire in my yard, and were roasting marshmallows?"
"Yeah, that was really fun."
"And remember how the house up the road caught fire, and all those fire engines came, and we ran to see what was going on, and the wife was crying in her husband's arms, and how everyone looked at us funny?"
"Yeah, I remember! I wondered what we'd done..."
"We were still holding our marshmallow sticks."

Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire
Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"
Dad: "It's true! I saw it with my own eyes"
He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.

Two Parents Get Arrested

A couple is arrested after they get caught burning their son's name on farms. Picture a big bonfire, but it spells their son's name.
It's a tense ride into the station. The parents are obviously nervous, so the officer makes some small talk.
After a while, though, the curiosity gets the best of him so he asks them why.
Cop: Of all things to spell out, why your son's name?
Dad: We figured it was the best way to show how much we love arson.

A Russian, an American, and a Canadian are sitting around a bonfire...

...when suddenly, the Russian throws his bottle of v**... into the fire. The American jumps up and asks, "What did you do that for?"
The Russian replies, "In Russia, we have so much v**...! We do this all the time!"
The American, wanting to one-up the Russian, grabs a handful of cash and throws it into the fire, and says, "In America, we have so much money! We do this all the time!"
The Canadian grabs a Native.

Bonfire joke, How does Tom Wolfe dispose of the debris from his bathroom remodel?