Bones Jokes

Funniest Bones Short Jokes

Short bones jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bones humour may include short skin jokes also.

1. Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds? Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
2. What do giants and strippers both have in common? They both grind men's bone to make their bread.
3. I went to an archaeologist's party where we were excavating a lower leg bone. It was quite the shindig.
4. How much do all the bones in the human body weigh? A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.
5. What did the astronauts conclude after they found bones on the moon? The cow didn't make it.
6. What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
7. What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? ​
   ​
   ​
   A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
8. I wish my wife looked at me the way my dog does. You know, waist-high with a bone in her mouth.
9. What do your girlfriend and kfc have in common? Once you're done with the thighs and the breast, all you have is a greasy box to put your bone.
10. What's the difference between an anorexic and a shooting star? One's all skin and bones, and the other's a little meteor

Share These Bones Jokes With Friends

Bones One Liners

Which bones one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bones? I can suggest the ones about body and legs.

1. If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's pretty humerus.
2. Why aren't broken bones a problem in India? Everyone is already in a caste
3. My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
4. A woman and a dog once fell in love. He buried his bone in her backyard.
5. What happens if you boil your funny bone? You make a laughing stock of yourself :)
6. My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body 207, 206, 207, 206, 207……
7. The Egyptian man became a bone doctor... They called him a Cairopractor
8. There are 27 bones in the human hand... and 28 when I'm lonely.
9. Did you know, if you boil a funny bone... It becomes a laughing stock.
10. What did the French skeleton say before he ate? Bone apetit
11. How do skeletons kiss Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.
12. How do skeletons reproduce? They bone.
13. What do you need for a movie about broken bones? An awesome cast
14. Puns about your bones are generally humerus. But puns about the eyes are even cornea.
15. What do you call a beach with crooked waves? A Scoli-ocean!

Breaking Bones Jokes

Here is a list of funny breaking bones jokes and even better breaking bones puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Stick and stones may break my bones But words are triggering and require federal regulation.
• I used to believe that sticks and stones could break my bones, but words could never hurt me. But then I got smacked with a dictionary.
• Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
• People say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you. Unless you live in Skyrim where words can kill you
• Where do you go when you break your funny bone? The Hahaspital.
• A tongue has no bones but it is strong enough to break a heart and.. is also strong enough to lift the pelvic bone.
• Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside...break their bones because they have 206 of them.
• I love bone jokes It's always good to break one in public.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones. But drone strikes affect your education.
• I recently got into a heated argument with my German neighbour. I insulted him, to which he replied Sticks und stones may break my bones aber vurds can never hurt me! So I threw a sausage at him.

Broken Bones Jokes

Here is a list of funny broken bones jokes and even better broken bones puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones. I didn't make the cast.
• Do you have any bruises, sprains, strains, or broken bones? No? Good! Now that we've gotten four maladies out of the way, how the heck are ya?
• What do you call a broken bone factory? A manufracturer
• One of my most selfless acts was when I had several bones broken when stopping a fight. Those kids never stood a chance
• Blonde joke A blonde goes to the doctor. She uses her right index finger, says it hurts when I touch my leg, my collar bone and my arm. "What's wrong?" She says.
  "Your finger is broken."
• Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
  That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
• Why were all of Napoleon's bones broken in two? Because he was Napoleon bone apart.
• Probably already been done but... What is wrong with a humorless person?
  A broken funny bone.
  I'll leave now.
• My friend gave me his number and told me to hit him up. Now he's got two broken bones and a restraining order...
• Condoms are like injured bones... If they are broken you are s**....

Old Bones Jokes

Here is a list of funny old bones jokes and even better old bones puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the skeleton say before they ate their meal? Bone appetite.
  (7 year old told me this today).
• Childhood Nursery Rhyme Old Mother Hubbard, went to her cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone...
  But Rover took over, and he bent her over, and gave her a bone of his own
• Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
• What did the old zombie dog say when she got a birthday bone? *My hip!*
• From my not quite 3yr old cousin. Q:Why did the doggy cross the road?
  A:To get to the bone!
  Q:Why did the bone cross the road?
  A: To get away!
• Old Mrs. Hubbard Old Mrs. Hubbard, went to her cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone.
  But when she got there, the cupboard was bare,
  so he gave her a bone of his own
• Q : Why do museums have old dinosaur bones ?
  A : Because they can't afford new ones
• Old mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard, to fetch her old doggy a bone. When she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
• Q: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
  A: Because they cant afford new ones.
• Need Jokes to amuse a 50 year old woman My good friend is down on her self. Any good jokes that will tickle her funny bones?

206 Bones Jokes

Here is a list of funny 206 bones jokes and even better 206 bones puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A joke The human body has 206 bones and you still think your dog loves you for no reason?
• I heard they exhumed the remains of a legendary French leader, and disassembled his skeleton into 206 separate pieces... Napoleon bone-apart
• Never break someone's heart. They only have one of them. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
• skeleton walks to the counter counter says 206
  Explained: another meaning of counter is one who counts. skeleton has 206 bones.
• Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206.
• Perfect pick up line... There are 206 bones in the human body... Want another one?
• They say there's 206 bones in the male body, but they're wrong. There's 207.
• Duuuude, I paid to take a landscaping course with Bruce McArthur! Only cost 206 bones, Dude.
• My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. 205, 204, 203, 202, 201...
  She'll make a great soup.

Mr Bones Jokes

Here is a list of funny mr bones jokes and even better mr bones puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What will they call Mr. T after he dies? Mr. T-Bone

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Bones Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about bones you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blood jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bones pranks.