Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Bone? Well here is a complete list of Bone to have fun with:
Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
That's pretty humerus.
Still I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.
Well, you start with the breasts and the thighs, and you end up with a greasy box to put your bone in.
A true story!
A woman came into the ER with a fish bone caught in her throat.
An orderly put her into a wheelchair, and wheeled her off toward an examination room. They came to the top of a ramp, the orderly stumbled, and accidentally let go.
The lady accelerates down the ramp, hits the doorjamb at the bottom, and goes sprawling. As a result, she coughed up the fish bone.
The orderly, now worried about getting into trouble, thinks quick, and says "You're really lucky lady, usually we have to do that 2 or 3 times!"
So I found out this week that my mom has Leukemia, and is going into the hospital either today or pretty soon there after to start chemo and then hopefully get a bone marrow transplant. I've decided to send her a video of me telling a joke a day to help keep her spirits up, but I know my library of jokes she would appreciate will probably run out within the first week. So please, post your best or favorite relatively clean jokes here! Jokes poking fun at Baptists would be especially appreciated. Thanks guys (and gals!)
After you're done with the breasts and the thighs, you've still got a greasy box to stick your bone in.
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Three engineers were arguing about what kind of engineer God is.
Electrical engineer: "surely God is an electrical engineer, the brain and nerves are a symphony of exquisite circuitry."
Mechanical engineer: "no, look at the ballet between bone, muscle and sinew. God must be a mechanical engineer."
Civil engineer: "God is a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipe right through a recreational area."
*^\(the* *^joke* *^is* *^by* *^Robin* *^Williams,* *^I* *^think)*
Bone apetit
...for better bone density, libido, and mood. The woman is a bit dubious, but readily follows the doctor's orders.
A few days later, the doctor gets a call from the woman. "How are you feeling, Mrs. Smith?" he asks.
She replies, "Oh, just wonderful. I am noticing a positive change on these hormones. I *am* suffering from a little extra hair growth, though."
"Oh, a little extra hair is perfectly normal when on a testosterone course," the doctor says reassuringly. "Where is the hair growing?"
The woman replies, "On my balls."
A Scoli-ocean!
(Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)
Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
After you're done with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
But I couldn't think of anything humorous.
But to bleach their bone, I guess.
Friend has bone cancer, may be getting an arm amputated. We have run "I'd give my left arm" and "Single-handedly" puns into the ground, and we need more amputation jokes.
I said 'She's lovely, a great match for you. Got cracking legs matey'
he said: 'Thanks, that's her brittle bone syndrome'
Laughingstock.
Their hump has no bone.
I just got this joke on a Laffy Taffy wrapper, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what this jerk-off Kyle P. is trying to get across. The joke is, what did the x-ray say to the broken bone? That bone should get a loan!
Why is the x-ray machine saying this? Is the joke that it rhymes? Does the bone need a loan to like, fix itself?
This is seriously bothering me and I need help.
The blasfemur
A chicken is easier to eat if you bone it first.
They both want to bury their bone.
...and my grandmother served us all, including my girlfriend, a very juicy, very much still hanging on the bone, rack of lamb. My girlfriend was looking at me in horror, whilst I took my gran aside.
"Didn't I tell you she was a vegetarian?" I asked.
She replied "oh yes dear, I checked with the butcher and he said the sheep he sells only eat grass!"
Fortunately, none of them were mine.
A man who hates every bone in the female body... except his own.
...so he decides to quickly fly down, bone her, and fly out before she even notices. In a split second he swooshes in and does just that.
"What was that?" Wonder Woman shouts loudly.
"I don't know but my butt hurts," Invisible Man replies.
In other words, I lost my job at the aquarium the other day
They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record.
Old Mrs. Hubbard, went to her cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone.
But when she got there, the cupboard was bare,
so he gave her a bone of his own
Q:Why did the doggy cross the road?
A:To get to the bone!
Q:Why did the bone cross the road?
A: To get away!
Q: What dairy product makes the best kind of friend?
A: well, I hear cheese always has a 'grate' time
(I guarantee someone's thought of it before me)
And if that doesn't tickle your funny bone, try this one (fairly similar):
Q: how do you find the IQ level of dairy products?
A: a cheese grater
(Also probably not original)
...It wasnt Humerus
One found a bone
Because he had a bone to pick.
BECASE IT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR HUMERUS.
The patella. (I'll show myself out)
That is one bitchin' Bon Appétite
Just enough to hold its pecker up.
Once your done with breasts and the thighs, all you have left to do is stick your bone in a greasy box...
They're both finger licking good, and when your done you have a box to put the bone in
Baby's head would be so large that scientists would come to its house and do experiments on it. The head would be primarily bone, almost 99%, and weigh upwards of 85 pounds. It would be a 16 pound baby, carried by its mom to full term plus eight months, born at 17 months, with full head of hair, and a full head of teeth.
He wanted to smoke a joint!
Because its humerus!
Because it's humerus.
"well son, as you may have guessed, that would be the rusty trombone"
It was hip.
A man who hates every bone in the female body... except his own.
You've read some of the best bone jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty bone gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.
How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these bone jokes are funny and some are hilarious.
Can I save Bone jokes? You can do this from the Joko Jokes iPhone app. It is available for free download from the Apple App Store. Like your favorite jokes so we can rank them by their likes count. Every thumb matters for Joko Jokes' rankings.
How to share a Bone joke? You are free to share every Bone joke found on JokoJokes.com, share it on Facebook, Twitter or by email and have fun with friends and family.