The Best 60 Bone Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Bone jokes. There are some bone ribs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these bone bone marrow puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Bone Jokes and Puns
I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.
But to bleach their bone, I guess.
Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds?
Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.
That's pretty humerus.
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
Laughingstock.
Princess Diana Jokes
What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can crash.
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.
Best amputation jokes?
Friend has bone cancer, may be getting an arm amputated. We have run "I'd give my left arm" and "Single-handedly" puns into the ground, and we need more amputation jokes.
What do you call a beach with crooked waves?
A Scoli-ocean!
I was trying to come up with a funny bone joke...
But I couldn't think of anything humorous.
What did the French skeleton say before he ate?
Bone apetit
My friend brought his wife into the pub and he asked me if i thought she was beautiful.
I said 'She's lovely, a great match for you. Got cracking legs matey'
he said: 'Thanks, that's her brittle bone syndrome'
How is a lesbian like a camel?
Their hump has no bone.
You can explore bone devour reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean bone skeleton dad jokes. There are also bone puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What was Jesus's least favorite bone?
The blasfemur
What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Why aren't there any female butchers?
Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone.
You know what my favorite bone is?
The ulna. I'm sorry if you thought this joke would be humerus.
What do you call sex with a french midget?
Bone a petite
There's no such thing as the funny bone...
But I heard the upper arm is quite humerus.
The Egyptian man became a bone doctor...
They called him a Cairopractor
How do skeletons reproduce?
They bone.
How much do all the bones in the human body weigh?
A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in
It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone"
but you must admit this is a very nice graveyard.
The price of smartphones are getting way too ridiculous
If I fall and hear something crack, I'm hoping it's a bone
How many bones are there in a graveyard?
A skeleTON.
How do skeletons kiss
Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.
What's the similarity between women and KFC
Once you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you're left with a greasy box to pop your bone in.
Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...
And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets sucked into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."
What do a good woman and KFC have in common?
After nibbling the breast and thighs there's a greasy box to put your bone in.
Two teenagers snuck into a crypt at night. One tripped over a small bone and the other unashamedly laughed.
Can't blame him though, it was a little humerus.
My teacher said, because I was acting up in class, I have to do a book report on the largest bone in the arm.
Isn't that humorous?
I asked my boss
I asked my new boss why she wasn't wearing any green today. She told me she didn't feel right celebrating St. Paddy's day since she didn't have an Irish bone in her body. I asked her if she wanted one.
Know anyone hiring?
What do boners and stains have in common?
If you get it wet and rub it enough it'll go away.
I wish my wife looked at me the way my dog does.
You know, waist-high with a bone in her mouth.
A woman and a dog once fell in love.
He buried his bone in her backyard.
Where do you go when you break your funny bone?
The Hahaspital.
I went to an archaeologist's party where we were excavating a lower leg bone.
It was quite the shindig.
How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh
a skeleton
Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day
Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty
A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft begger!"
What did the paleontologist say to his wife after 6 months in the field ?
You wanna bone?
How much do bones weigh?
About a skeleTON
I made a joke about the bone of my upper arm
It was humerus
There are 27 bones in the human hand...
and 28 when I'm lonely.
So little Timmy has bone cancer.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation people come around and say well Timmy, you can see anyone you want. We'll do our best to get them.
So Timmy says I wanna see Black Panther!
The Doctor says hold on now, you'll see him in a couple days anyways. Why don't you pick someone else?
Just had an operation on my funny bone....
Doctor said I'll be in stitches for 2 weeks.
A woman answered her front doo
A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"My babysitter's boyfriend."
A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."
How do you keep a skeleton from joking?
Take away his funny bone.
What do your girlfriend and KFC have in common?
Once you're done with the thighs and the breast, all you have is a greasy box to put your bone.
What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Why do people with no arms make bad comedians?
Because they haven't got a funny bone in their body.
Jewish mother goes to the airport
to meet her daughter, who was returning from a summer abroad. The daughter gets off the plane hand-in-hand with a 7' tall Zulu warrior, with a bone through his hair and nose.
The mother yells at her "I said a *rich* doctor!"
Workshop dad joke.
My wife never gets my jokes, so in my last will and testament I left her my arm bone, because I thought it would be humerus.
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson?
I'm BONE to be wild!
I need to help finding a skeleton…
Cause I have a bone to pick with him.
Did you know, if you boil a funny bone...
It becomes a laughing stock.
Why did the archeology student stay after class?
He had a bone to pick with his professor.
A biologist walks up to his friend and says
Biologist : Hey wanna hear a joke?
Friend : sure, go ahead
Biologist : bone of the upper arm
Friend : wow, that's humerus
(I'm not even a dad and idk if this counts as a dad joke but anyways thought of this while studying biology so had to post it)
Why do archeologist stay annoyed?
They always have a bone to pick
What does did the skeleton waiter say when he served dinner?
Bone appetite
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the bone broken bone jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working bone humerus bone piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.