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Bone Bone Jokes

111 bone bone jokes and hilarious bone bone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bone bone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Bone Bone Short Jokes

Short bone bone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bone bone humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Did you know that a piranha can devour a human child to the bone in 30 seconds? Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
  2. What do giants and strippers both have in common? They both grind men's bone to make their bread.
  3. I went to an archaeologist's party where we were excavating a lower leg bone. It was quite the shindig.
  4. How much do all the bones in the human body weigh? A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.
  5. What did the astronauts conclude after they found bones on the moon? The cow didn't make it.
  6. What do you call a monk who walks everywhere in bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath? A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
  7. What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?


    A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
  8. I wish my wife looked at me the way my dog does. You know, waist-high with a bone in her mouth.
  9. What do your girlfriend and kfc have in common? Once you're done with the thighs and the breast, all you have is a greasy box to put your bone.
  10. What's the difference between an anorexic and a shooting star? One's all skin and bones, and the other's a little meteor

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Bone Bone One Liners

Which bone bone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bone bone? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's pretty humerus.
  2. Why aren't broken bones a problem in India? Everyone is already in a caste
  3. My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
  4. A woman and a dog once fell in love. He buried his bone in her backyard.
  5. What happens if you boil your funny bone? You make a laughing stock of yourself :)
  6. My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body 207, 206, 207, 206, 207……
  7. The Egyptian man became a bone doctor... They called him a Cairopractor
  8. There are 27 bones in the human hand... and 28 when I'm lonely.
  9. Did you know, if you boil a funny bone... It becomes a laughing stock.
  10. What did the French skeleton say before he ate? Bone apetit
  11. How do skeletons kiss Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.
  12. How do skeletons reproduce? They bone.
  13. What do you need for a movie about broken bones? An awesome cast
  14. Puns about your bones are generally humerus. But puns about the eyes are even cornea.
  15. What do you call a beach with crooked waves? A Scoli-ocean!

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bone bone can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bone bone puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Bone Bone Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about bone bone you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bone bone prank.

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.

But to bleach their bone, I guess.

65,000,011 years ago

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."

What do you get when you boil a funny bone?

Laughingstock.

Princess Diana Jokes

What's the difference between Princess Diana and a blade of grass? About six feet.
How is Princess Diana like a mobile phone? Both die in tunnels.
Where does Diana stay when she visits Paris? Any place she can c**....
How is Princess Diana like breaking a bone? Both need a doctor to remove the plaster of paris.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and thirty-nine pennies? It's easier to scrape together thirty-nine pennies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What's the difference between Princess Diana an Casper the ghost? Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.
What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? A Mercedes will easily reach 40.
What would Di be doing if she were alive today? Scratching at the lid of her coffin.
Yes I am a horrible person wow.

Lone Survivor

The rescue team finds the crashed airplane. The lone survivor is chewing on a bone,with a huge pile of bones next to him. The rescuers are shocked. He says "You can't judge me for this, I had to survive." The rescue leader says "But, Christ, man ... your plane went down two days ago!"

What about the mad cow?

A man and his wife arrive from a business trip and
go to his favorite steakhouse unaware of the mad cow outbreak in his town. The waiter sits them and says, "Our special today is duck or shrimp."
The man replies, "I want a T-bone steak medium well."
The waiter, a bit miffed continues, "What about the mad cow?"
The man looks at the waiter and says, "She can order for herself."

Have you heard about Gandhi?

Gandhi walked around a bunch and built up giant callouses on the bottoms of his feet. He fasted a bunch which gave his bones a rather fragile brittle nature. He was a spiritual man, a mystic to many people. And he had a strange diet of green tea and white rice which gave him constant bad breath.
So **tl;dr** Gandhi was a super-calloused, fragile mystic, vexed with halitosis.

Best amputation jokes?

Friend has bone cancer, may be getting an arm amputated. We have run "I'd give my left arm" and "Single-handedly" puns into the ground, and we need more amputation jokes.

I was trying to come up with a funny bone joke...

But I couldn't think of anything humorous.

My friend brought his wife into the pub and he asked me if i thought she was beautiful.

I said 'She's lovely, a great match for you. Got cracking legs matey'
he said: 'Thanks, that's her brittle bone syndrome'

There once was an old mystic

He was too poor to afford shoes, so he often had sores on his feet, and since he was old, he could easily break his bones if he was not careful. He also had a very bad diet, so his breath smelt terrible.
I guess you could say he was a....
**Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed with Halitosis**

How are strippers like giants?

they both grind bones to make bread.

What do you call a Canadian fish with no bones?

Phil, eh?

You know what my favorite bone is?

The ulna. I'm sorry if you thought this joke would be humerus.

What do you call s**... with a french midget?

Bone a petite

There's no such thing as the funny bone...

But I heard the upper arm is quite humerus.

Three pregnant women were knitting tops for their soon-to-be born.

One posh one says "I'm taking vitamin A, as I want my baby to have strong bones and teeth". The other posh one says "I'm taking vitamin C, as I want my baby to have a good constitution and good heart". The chavvy one says "I'm taking Thalidomide cos I can't knit arms".

Stick and stones may break my bones

But words are triggering and require federal regulation.

What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in

It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone"

but you must admit this is a very nice graveyard.

Suspended

Boy: Dad, I got suspended from school today.
Dad: WHAT?!?! WHY?!
Boy: A kid said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
Dad: So?
Boy: So I threw a dictionary at him.
Dad: That's my boy.

The price of smartphones are getting way too ridiculous

If I fall and hear something crack, I'm hoping it's a bone

What did it mean when they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

How many bones are there in a graveyard?

A skeleTON.

A man walks into a bar, and noticed a couple T-bones nailed to the ceiling.

He asks the bartender what they're for.
Bartender tells him it's a challenge. If you can jump and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the night. If you miss, you buy everyone's drinks for an hour.
The man shakes his head and says. "I'm gonna pass. The steaks are too high."

There was once a doctor who tried to prove that mainly blood was kept in bones,

But alas it twas in vein.

Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...

And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets s**... into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."

What do a good woman and KFC have in common?

After nibbling the breast and thighs there's a greasy box to put your bone in.

Two teenagers snuck into a crypt at night. One tripped over a small bone and the other unashamedly laughed.

Can't blame him though, it was a little humerus.

I asked my boss

I asked my new boss why she wasn't wearing any green today. She told me she didn't feel right celebrating St. p**...'s day since she didn't have an Irish bone in her body. I asked her if she wanted one.
Know anyone hiring?

What if dinosaur bones were only found on Earth...

Because aliens used this planet as a pet cemetery?

The year is 2017.

There are machines which can look through skin and see bones. There are machines which keep you alive when your brain and heart have stopped. There's even a machine that can tell you who your parents are with a single drop of spit. However, when I need my prostate checking, a man sticks his finger up my a**... and wriggles it about a bit.

A man was killed by an assassin

An Irishman was killed by an assassin in his own home Thursday. Sources say the assailant was armed only with 2 porcelain figures. After beating the man to death, the assassin threw the body to several mongrel dogs that lived in a nearby wooded area.
Police claim it's the first known case of a Knick-Knack p**... whack, give a dog a bone.

Three engineers are discussing God's engineering background.

The first one says, "God was clearly an electrical engineer. The human nervous system is a feat of electrical engineering genius!"
The second one says, "Absolutely not! He was a mechanical engineer. The way the muscles and bones interact are mechanically brilliant!"
The third one says, "Nope, you're both idiots. God was a civil engineer. Who else would run a sewage line right through a playground?"

CEO asks the VP: Hey, have you been boning my new secretary?

VP says: No! .
CEO: Good, then YOU fire her.

TIL that a school of piranhas...

... can completely s**... the flesh of the bones of a small child in less than 20 seconds.
 
Also today I was fired from the zoo...

Kirk breaks his arm and goes to see Doctor McCoy.

McCoy starts to s**... and says, "Well James, you may not be laughing on the outside, but on the inside you're cracking up!"
"Funny, Bones", replies Kirk with a smirk.
"Actually James", says McCoy, checking Kirk's arm, "your humerus!"

How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh

a skeleton

Give a dog a bone and you feed him for a day

Teach a dog to bone and you go to jail for animal cruelty

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.

Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "No I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft begger!"

People say sticks and stones may break your bones but words can never hurt you.

Unless you live in Skyrim where words can kill you

"There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids.

It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.

How much do bones weigh?

About a skeleTON

Why did the bones cross the street?

They didn't, the dogs ate them.

An electrical engineer, a mechanical engineer, and a civil engineer are discussing the nature of God

"God is an electrical engineer" says the EE. "Look at the nervous system! It's all electrical impulses."
"Nonsense," says the ME. "God's a mechanical engineer. Look at the muscles and bones. That's mechnical engineering."
The civil engineer demurs.
"God is a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste disposal pipe through the middle of a recreational area?"

A joke

The human body has 206 bones and you still think your dog loves you for no reason?

So little Timmy has bone cancer.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation people come around and say well Timmy, you can see anyone you want. We'll do our best to get them.
So Timmy says I wanna see Black Panther!
The Doctor says hold on now, you'll see him in a couple days anyways. Why don't you pick someone else?

Just had an operation on my funny bone....

Doctor said I'll be in stitches for 2 weeks.

A woman answered her front doo

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.
"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?"
"My babysitter's boyfriend."

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list.

"Ma'am," he explained, "I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.""Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?""My babysitter's boyfriend."

How do you keep a skeleton from joking?

Take away his funny bone.

What's common between strippers and giants?

They both grind men's bones to make bread

A man was brought to a hospital with heavily fractured bones.

The doctor in the intensive care unit asks him, "Are you married?"
"No, I've been run over by a truck."

Why do people with no arms make bad comedians?

Because they haven't got a funny bone in their body.

A joke as told to me verbatim by my 4yo son: What's a Skeleton's favorite instrument to play?

A t**...!
Haha, Get it, Daddy? Because skeletons are made out of *BONES!* HA HA HA!
Me: DOOT DOOT!!

I used to believe that sticks and stones could break my bones, but words could never hurt me.

But then I got smacked with a dictionary.

Jewish mother goes to the airport

to meet her daughter, who was returning from a summer abroad. The daughter gets off the plane hand-in-hand with a 7' tall Zulu warrior, with a bone through his hair and nose.
The mother yells at her "I said a *rich* doctor!"

I got T-b**... by a construction delivery truck the other day.

It came down like a ton of bricks.

Giant: "I'll grind this orphan's bones to make my cake!"

Also Giant: "I find self-raising flour makes for a lighter and more consistent texture."

Which do you call a skeleton's hunger?

Bone-appetite

Did you hear that NASA found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bone bone jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.