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Bonds Jokes

52 bonds jokes and hilarious bonds puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bonds that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some of the funniest jokes related to bonds, stocks and bail. From hydrogen monoxide to alkynes, these lighthearted jokes will bring a smile to any chemistry lover's face.

Best Short Bonds Jokes

Short bonds jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bonds humour may include short bonding jokes also.

  1. James Bond always holds his farts while in bed Otherwise he would blow his cover.


    (Look I'm not funny this was my first and only attempt so sorry X\_X)
  2. 007 recieves a new mission... to infiltrate a party and mingle. His orders are to, "bond James, bond".
  3. I went to make my own james bond clothing, but came back with a plain, white T-shirt I had No Time To Dye.
  4. What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond? The savings bond will eventually mature and earn money.
  5. "The bond's Name. James Name" Pleased to... what?
    "Bond Name's the james"
    Are you alright?
    "Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"
  6. What is the most unrealistic part of the newest James Bond movie? A Brit with a full petrol tank.
  7. Sir Roger Moore, prominent James bond actor has passed away His family say that they are shaken.... but not stirred
  8. James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar.
    Michael J. Fox is the bartender.
    James Bond says "I'll have a martini."
    He does not need to specify.
  9. I hate people who finds it disgusting when i breastfeed in public .. It's completely normal and strenghtens the bond between me and my dog.
  10. My friend calls me James Bonds while I play Call Of Duty.... 0 - Kills
    0 - Assists
    7 - Deaths

Quick Jump To


Bonds joke, My friend calls me James Bonds while I play Call Of Duty....


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bonds can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bonds puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Bonds One Liners

Which bonds one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bonds? I can suggest the ones about bonding chemistry and loans.

  1. The name's Bond. Ionic bond. Taken, not shared.
  2. Where do James Bond Actors go when they die? 00Heaven
  3. How did Ian Fleming become so wealthy? By diversifying his Bonds!
  4. Where does 007 invest his money? Bonds. Stocks and bonds.
  5. What did the aging 007 say to his pharmacist? Bond. Gold Bond.
  6. What does James Bond do before going to bed He goes undercover
  7. What is James Bond called in Newfoundland? 007:30
  8. Breastfeeding in public is natural. And it strengthens the bond between me and my dog.
  9. What do you call James Bond in the bathtub? Bubble-0-7
  10. How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women? Shaven, not furred
  11. What do you call James Bond taking a bath? Bubble 0-7
  12. What do you call James bond in the bath? Bubble07
  13. James Bond once had a partner, Agent 014. But she was exposed for being a double agent.
  14. What do you call James Bond having a bath? Bubble 07
  15. If James Bond led such a high-risk lifestyle... why wasn't he James Stock?
    -Caroline

Stocks And Bonds Jokes

Here is a list of funny stocks and bonds jokes and even better stocks and bonds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why couldn't the Medici family diversify their wealth? Because in Renaissance times, stocks were bonds.
  • How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement? Collecting stocks and bonds.
  • I don't see why people were so mad over slavery. I mean they all got stocks and bonds.
  • Someone at a b**... convention asked me what investments he should make I told them to invest in stocks and bonds
  • Why don't people in trailer parks invest in the stock market? Because their money is t**... in bonds.

Bail Bonds Jokes

Here is a list of funny bail bonds jokes and even better bail bonds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The name is bond Bail bond
  • What do you call a spy's law firm? James' Bail Bonds.
Bonds joke, What do you call a spy's law firm?

Heartwarming Bonds Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about bonds you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean james bond jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bonds prank.

Do you know how many hydrogen bonds I can disrupt? (Chemistry pick-up line)

Enough to break the ice, how's it going?

My dad told me to invest my money into bonds.

So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger.

My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.
So I did.
1) Connery
2) Craig
3) Brosnan
4) Dalton
5) Lazenby
She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

If I was an element on the Periodic Table...

...I'd be a noble gas. I don't form bonds easily, if at all.

What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad?

+4407

What kind of bonds have the worst return rate?

Vagabonds

What the difference between carbon and my ex?

She could form more than 4 bonds at the same time.

Superglue comes with a warning: "Caution - Instantly bonds skin." But a whole shipment got out with a misprint: "Caution - Instantly bonds kin."

That's how I ended up marrying my first cousin.

Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire were finally able to get into the Baseball Hall of Fame by using a Jedi mind trick...

"These are not the 'roids you're looking for ..."

What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?

Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

Why do all of the carbon atoms in benzene get along so well?

They learned to just let pi bonds be pi bonds.

Girls are like hydrogen bonds

They just want to have FON!

What type of investment do chemists prefer?

They have an affinity for bonds.

Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German t**... plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

007 is both James Bonds number and Russias country code, a coincidence...?

...yes, that's a coincidence.

A man was touching his DVD shelf to find his favorite Bond.....

then realized that in fact, there were no covalent bonds.

My Chemistry homework is asking me to rank the bonds by relative strength.

Could Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig beat Sean Connery in a fight?

The bonds of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them.

Sometimes three.

Why are carbon chains with two double bonds so sad?

Because they're diene

What's James bonds fettish?

b**...

How many James Bonds does it take to change a light bulb?

007

My grandfather advised me to invest my money in bonds

So I bought 100 copies of Goldfinger.

There are alkynes of different carbon bonds

And if you excuse me, I'll go and alkyl myself now

Bonds joke, There are alkynes of different carbon bonds

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bonds jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.