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Bomb Jokes

161 bomb jokes and hilarious bomb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bomb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a laugh? Then try out these bomb jokes! From atomic bombs to fireballs we've got the perfect nuke of humor for you! Get ready to be nuked with laughter!

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Funniest Bomb Short Jokes

Short bomb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bomb humour may include short blast jokes also.

  1. "You're the bomb, no you're the bomb" A compliment in the United States, an argument in the Middle East.
  2. What's the hardest part breaking up with a japanese girlfriend? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.
  3. You the bomb. No, you the bomb.
    A compliment in America.
    An argument in the Middle East.
  4. Where did sally go when the bomb went off? - everywhere.
    Why did sally fall off the swing?
    She had no arms..
    Knock knock..
    Whose there?
    -not sally.
  5. If 'womb' is pronounced as 'woom' and 'tomb, as' 'toom' Shouldn't 'bomb' be pronounced 'boom'?
  6. Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl You have to drop the bomb twice before she finally gets it
  7. What's the difference between a bomb vest and a feminist? A bomb vest does something when it's triggered.
  8. What's the hardest part about breaking up with a Japanese chick? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
  9. I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend but she keeps calling me Seems like I have to drop the bomb twice.
  10. If someone says "Someone in this room has a bomb," I can't rule myself out as a suspect. - Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Note7

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Bomb One Liners

Which bomb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bomb? I can suggest the ones about bang and breaker.

  1. If you say AT&T backwards You sound like a canadian Bomb Technician.
  2. What did the Reddit user say after setting off a bomb in a bank?
  3. I joined ISIS to help my self esteem issues. Everyone kept telling me You're the bomb.
  4. Why wont ISIS bomb my local Walmart? ...because its not a Target.
  5. A bomb just went off in a paris cheese shop There is de brie everywhere!
  6. My grandfather survived both the hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings Being in Canada helped.
  7. A redditor is defusing a bomb.
  8. Why'd the bomb builder call the hotel at 8pm? He was looking for nitrates.
  9. I asked my husband for a bath bomb for Christmas He got me a toaster.
  10. The Russians bombed a cemetery yesterday. There were no survivors
  11. What's worse than finding a bomb under your car? Not finding it.
  12. My grandpa survived both the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings. Being in Australia helped.
  13. What do you call a bombed schoolyard? Recess Pieces.
  14. Where did Little Suzie go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.
  15. What do you call a selfish bomb? Mine

Bomb Dropped Jokes

Here is a list of funny bomb dropped jokes and even better bomb dropped puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So the US Military dropped a 22,000 lb bomb on ISIS today. That moves Amy Shumer's special to the second spot for largest bomb for the year.
  • What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
  • Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese Girl? You have to drop the Bomb twice before she gets the Message.
  • The worst part about breaking up with my Japanese girlfriend? Having to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.
  • So, I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend recently. I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.
  • Whats the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it
  • You know what the worst part is about dating a Japanese girl? If I ever decide to break up with her I will have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message
  • Get to the bunker, a nuclear bomb is dropping "You can't force me in a bunker, I am an American, I have rights"
  • My Japanese ex-girlfriend kept trying to get back with me I had to drop the bomb twice before she finally gave up.
  • Why is it difficult to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get the message.

Atomic Bomb Jokes

Here is a list of funny atomic bomb jokes and even better atomic bomb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If I had an atom bomb for every gender... I'd force Japan to surrender
  • What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The August 1945 atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
  • What did the Big Boy atomic bomb say to the Nuclear Bomb when they met? Nuke, I am your father.
  • What did the Japanese man say as the Hiroshima sky was filled with the light of an atomic bomb, in a split second? Wow this blew up fast.
  • What made Rice Krispies long before Kellogg's? The Atomic Bomb
  • TIL the Enola Gay (dropped the first atom bomb) was named after the mother of the pilot Col. Paul Tibbets His mom gay
  • Everyone thinks Kim Jong Un wants to build an atom bomb... ...when he just wants to build a new clear-bomb.
  • What do you call it when an atomic bomb gets dropped on the hood? Niggasaki
  • What was the original name of the atomic bomb dropped on Japan? The rice cooker 3000
  • When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.
Bomb joke

Atom Bomb Jokes

Here is a list of funny atom bomb jokes and even better atom bomb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The elderly with phones It makes me nervous just watching the elderly trying to use phones it's like watching someone disable an atomic bomb.
  • There was once man named tom There was once a man named Tom
    Who dropped an atomic bomb
    On the country we call Japan
    He said next was Afghanistan
    As he came in his palm
  • Dear Radio Yerevan... ...is it possible that an atomic bomb could destroy our beautiful city of Yerevan?
    "In principle yes, but Moscow is by far a more beautiful city."
  • After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
    It was more "humane".
  • What do atomic bombs and Half-Life have in common? Should'a dropped a third.
  • Why are Japanese peoples eyes so squinted? Do you even know how bright an atomic bomb is?
  • What's the only thing more dangerous than an atom bomb? A woman on her period.
  • Why do Asians always look like they're squinting? Atomic bombs are very bright.
  • What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb? Did you make that Fermi?
  • Why do asians have such s**... eyes? Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

Nuclear Bomb Jokes

Here is a list of funny nuclear bomb jokes and even better nuclear bomb puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I don't know why North Korea needs a nuclear bomb... ...their weather machine seems to be working just fine
  • Do you know why Oppenheimer bombed in japan? They had already seen it
  • Did you hear about the failed Canadian plot to bomb Mexico with a nuclear missile? It went south fast.
  • What do you call a Mosque in Asia A North Korean Nuclear Bomb Test Site
  • The US military would be really disappointed when it sits down to brainstorm a name for the nuclear bomb to be dropped on Kim Jong-un and realises that Fatman is already taken.
  • Why would a Hipster hate a Nuclear War? Because when the bombs detonate, dying would become too mainstream.
  • What do you call a cow with a nuclear bomb? An udderless disaster
  • What kind of man is needed to nuclear bomb Japan twice? A true man
  • Breaking News! Breaking News! Russia has just dropped a nuclear bomb on Ethiopia.
    1 million died in the blast and 2 million died running after the mushroom.
  • How do you stop a nuclear bomb from squeaking...? ...WMD40.
Bomb joke, How do you stop a nuclear bomb from squeaking...?

Comical Bomb Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about bomb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean buzz jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bomb pranks.

I broke up with a Japanese girl last week...

It s**..., because I had to drop the bomb twice before she got the message.

Careful, this is an alphabet bomb!

If it goes off, it could spell disaster!

When a statistician passes the airport security check...

When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer..."

Two kids watch a p**...-bellied man undress in a changing room,

One of them say "What is in your tummy that makes it so round?" To have some fun the p**...-bellied man says, "A bomb". Dumbfounded the second child says, "What a short fuse!"

A statistician and his wife are going I vacation.

As they are packing, the statistician puts a bomb in his suit case.
"Good god, what's that for?" His wife asks.
"Well, there's low odds of one bomb being on a plane, what are the odds of there being two?"

Where was Timmy when the bomb fell?

Everywhere.

A Muslim walks into a bar with a bomb...

He asks the barkeep "why does this bar have a bomb?"
The barkeep replies "don't worry, it's just for decoration. This bar, Paradise, is a wartime-themed bar"
"Well I'll be!" exclaims the Muslim. He takes a seat and orders a v**... Mary, as his religion forbids him from imbibing alcohol, but encourages the enjoyment of virgins in Paradise.

What is that number 1 song coming out of the middle east?

My black flag brings all the goats to the yard,
and they're like like "allahu akbar",
watch out, I'll put a bomb in your car,
I'd teach you, but I lost my arms

What do you call a T-Rex with a bomb strapped to it's chest?

Dinomite

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.
They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.
They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".
Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down!
Then I heard this Muslim guy saying he had the entire Koran on a DVD.
I was interested, so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"
Well that was when the trouble started.

Once i did the "is your dad a t**...?, because you are a bomb.." line to a muslim girl.

Totally blew up in my face

A worried flyer asks a statistician...

"What are my chances of getting on a plane that has a bomb on it?" to which the statistician replies, "very, very low". But I fly a lot, said the businessman. Then, said the statistician, Take your own bomb with you. The odds against being on a plane with two bombs on it are 50 billion to one.

I'm going to open an ISIS themed cafe called Allahu Snackbar - our food is the bomb.

There's an ISIS comedy night coming up...

I would go but i'm fairly certain they're all going to bomb.

Overheard this in the train, not a joke per se, but I found it funny

>Two dudes were talking about moving to US so the first dude's child will have an American education.
Dude1: My wife and I were thinking that we should move to the US so our kid will have an American education?
Dude2: You dont want to do that.
Dude1: Why?
Dude2: You are telling me you want to send your child to a place where people cant tell the difference between a clock and a bomb?

An American walks into an Irish bar...

... and approaches the bartender and says, "I'd like an Irish car bomb."
The bartender says, "Let me see what I can do," and disappears to the back of the bar. He comes back with two highball glasses filled with v**.... He then proceeds to light them on fire.
"Here ya go."
"Uh, that's not really what I was expecting," the American says.
"Yeah, I know," says the bartender, "we're all out of Irish car bombs. But here, you can have a 9/11."

"You da bomb" was one of the best things to hear someone tell me when I was younger.

But the possibility of hearing it now has me scared to death here in ISIS.

Terrorists make the worst comedians.

They always bomb.

What is the worse part of breaking up with a Japanese person?

You have to drop the bomb twice to get the message.

A farmer once bought some ammonium nitrate fertilizer, but it smelled weird,

so he put a sample in a pan and brought it to the nearest USDA branch. A security guard saw the pan full of fertilizer and yelled "bomb", but it was just panned ammonium

What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

"You da bomb"
"No, you da bomb!"

So I recently opened a s**... bomb shop in Syria, and it's doing great!

Prophets are going through the roof.

When a statistician goes through airport security, they find a bomb in his bag.

He explains, "The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer."

What do bombs have in common with feminists?

The heavier they are, the bigger they explode when triggered.

Breaking up with Japanese Girls.

I hate to breakup with Japanese girls because you have to drop the bomb twice before they get it.

A mathematician is afraid of flying

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."

Did you hear about the bomb that blew up a French cheese shop?

There's de brie everywhere.

I always carry a bomb around with me ...

What is the likelihood of having two bombs in the same place at the same time?

What do you call an ISIS member with Tourette's?

A ticking time bomb.

Science and Religion have to coexist because science can make a bomb,

But you do need a religious person to set it off.

"You da bomb." "No, you da bomb"

America: compliments
Syria: arguments

If you go on a plane, always bring a bomb...

The chances of two people having a bomb on the same plane is slim to none

What do you call a hot Indian?

A Bomb Bae

How does a radical muslim clean themselves?

A bath bomb.

What's the difference between a bomb and a social justice warrior?

The bomb actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.

How do you protect yourself from gamma rays and x-rays?

You don't bomb pearl harbor.

What do you call a t**... with Tourette's?

A ticking time bomb

TIL that Nikola Tesla threw the bomb that killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand, sparking WWI...

Whoops, wrong Serb.

The odds of getting on a plane with a bomb on it are 950,000 to one -

The odds of getting on a plane with two bombs on it are closer to 700,000,000 to one So, to be safe, I always bring my own bomb.
S. W.

What do s**... bomb instructors always start their lesson with?

"Right lads, I'm only going to show you this once!"

2 guys are hiding a bomb under a car.

Guy 1 - What if the bomb goes off while we're still under the car.
Guy 2 - Don't worry, I've got a second one in my backpack.

If at first you don't succeed...

... then bomb disposal probably isn't the career for you

A mathematician is afraid of flying because of the risk of a t**... b**... it in mid air. So he takes a bomb in his hand baggage

"The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero.

Two terrorists were installing a bomb

One says to another what will happen if this one explodes while we are installing it?
The other responds:
Don't worry I'm carrying a spare

What do you call a French conqueror who stands too close to a bomb?

Napoleon Blown-apart

what does it feel like to join a s**... bomb squad?

I don't know, you'll have to C4 yourself!

What did the s**... bomb instructor say to his new students?

Pay attention because I am only going to do this once

A mathematician is afraid of flying due to small risk of a t**... attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with him in his hand luggage.

The probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero!

So I asked a bomb defusion specialist about the stresses of his job...

...he said there aren't any because either he's right or it's suddenly not his problem.

I am going to become a bomb defuser.

It is one job where....
Either i'm right.
Or suddenly its not my problem anymore.

What did the Redditor say after detonating a bomb inside a bank?

A man is planning on taking a vacation but is afraid of flying

He is afraid of someone b**... the plane, so he asks a statistician what the odds are of a bomb being on a plane. He says the odds are one in a million and he shouldn't worry about it.
He asks what the odds of 2 bombs being on the same plane are, and the statistician says the odds are so low it will probably never happen to anyone in the mans lifetime.
A month later they run into each other and the statistician asks if the man ever took his vacation. He says yes. The statistician asks how he got over his fear of flying and the mans says, it was easy. Every time I board a plane, I bring a bomb with me.

Two Italian guys, Dino and Marcello, go fishing on a boat

Suddenly, Dino spots an old WWII bomb floating towards them.
Dino screams "Marcello! Look! It's a mine!"
Marcello -scared- replies "Okay okay Dino, you can a have it!"

What did the s**... bomb instructor say to his students?

"Right lads, I'm only going to show you this once!"

My history teacher told us that if a nuclear bomb was closely approaching, being flexible would be very helpful.

It's so that you can bend your body and kiss your a**... goodbye.

Bomb joke, My history teacher told us that if a nuclear bomb was closely approaching, being flexible would be v

jokes about bomb