Bolts Jokes
87 bolts jokes and hilarious bolts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bolts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at these hilarious bolts jokes! Get ready to grab the welder because these nuts and bolts jokes are sure to have you laughing all day. Whether you’re a mechanic or have a love for fasteners, these bolt jokes are sure to make you chuckle.
Funniest Bolts Short Jokes
Short bolts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bolts humour may include short lightning bolt jokes also.
- I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning... ...within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.
- All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together. At first it's boring, then it's riveting.
- My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together. At first it's boring, but later on, it's riveting!
- I bought a dog from a blacksmith. 10 minutes after we arrived home, the dog made a bolt for the door.
- I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith... As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.
- I bought a dog from a blacksmith today Within 10 minutes of being home he'd already made a bolt for the door
- I rescued a dog that belonged to a blacksmith. As soon as I brought it home, it made a bolt for the door
- I just bought a dog from the town blacksmith When I took it home, it made a bolt for the door.
- New Doggy I've just gone and bought a dog off a Blacksmith!!!
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door! - I just bought a dog from a local blacksmith. As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
Share These Bolts Jokes With Friends
Bolts One Liners
Which bolts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bolts? I can suggest the ones about nut and bolt and lightning.
- What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
I'll see myself out. - I bought a dog from a blacksmith as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
- What does a mechanic do for a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
- What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop.
- What's the engineering term for a one night stand? A nut and bolt.
- Fastest Bolt at the Olympics? Was it Usain Bolt or Ryan Lochte's ride to the airport?
- my dog is training to be a blacksmith every now and then he'll make a bolt for the door
- Do you know what a robot does on one night stand? Nuts and bolts.
- What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus? He waits at the next station
- What do you call a robots one night stand? A nut and bolt
- After Usain Bolt retires, he'll move to Iran.
- Why are mechanics absent fathers? Because they nut and bolt
- I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!
- What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.
- What do mechanics call one night stands? Nuts & bolts
Nuts And Bolts Jokes
Here is a list of funny nuts and bolts jokes and even better nuts and bolts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum. He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.
Headline in the local newspaper next day read,
"Nut Screws Washer and Bolts . - What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts
- Thought of a great slogan for a construction company.. We screw, we nut, we bolt.
- What does a robot do with his first girlfriend? He nuts and bolts
- Hear about the mechanic who refuses to pay prostitutes? He screws, nuts and bolts.
- Piece of Dating Advice Do not date a car mechanic if you're looking for a long term partner. Typically, a mechanic just nuts and bolts.
- A lunatic seduced the laundry woman ... A lunatic seduced the laundry woman to get her keys, and promptly escaped from the asylum.
Next day, the headlines read *Nut Screws Washer and Bolts!* - What does a robot do after a one-night stand? He nuts and bolts
- I told her I'm a mechanical engineer I can't fix her car, but I can screw, nut, and bolt.
- Women hate mechanics. All they do is screw, nut, and bolt.
Hilarious Fun Bolts Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about bolts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean usain bolt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bolts pranks.
Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, r**... a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away?
The newspaper headlines the next day read:
#**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#
So a man escaped from a mental asylum.....
So a man escaped from a mental asylum and the first thing he did was head for the local town. In the town he found a laundrette and so he went inside and r**... the workers there.
The next day's newspaper headline was " Nut bolts ,screws washers"
Why arent any Usain Bolts in swimming
You dont swim from a robbery do you ?
A sad looking man walks into a bar
And orders three shots. He knocks them back one after the other and orders another three.
The bartender says "I've never seen anyone drink like that"
The man replies "you'd drink like this if you had what I've got"
This continues twice more, shots, never seen it, you would if you had what I've got.
After the fifteenth shot the bartender asks "I've got to know, what have you got?"
The man grins wide and shouts "twenty cents!" he slaps the coins on the bar and bolts out the door.
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
A mental patient escapes from an asylum, goes into a laundrette and rapes a bunch of women. The police arrive and he escapes. Newspaper headline the next day reads....
.
---
### NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS
---
.
An inmate from a mental asylum escaped and started r**... people.
The next day headlines read : Nut bolts and screws.
Did you hear the newspaper headline about the escaped lunatic who r**... a woman and ran away?
"Nut screws and bolts".
Man escapes from insane asylum, and has s**... with a girl in a laundry mat.
The newspaper the next day reads:
"Nut screws washers and bolts."
What holds clouds together?
Bolts of lightning.
Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read....
# **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**
Voldemort tried to kill my grandpa twice during the war!
That's why his helmet has two lighting bolts.
Anyone hear of the r**... mechanic?
They say he screws, nuts, and bolts.
Crazy man has s**... with machine at laundromat and evades police
Nut screws washer and bolts
What's the difference
A man walks into a pharmacy, buys some antibiotics, pays $25.45, walks out. A second later, the pharmacist bolts out of the pharmacy, catches up with the man, and breathlessly says: "sir, there's been a mistake! Instead of the antibiotics, I gave you Cyanide. " The man asks: "and what's the difference?" The pharmacist says: "two dollars and ten cents".
What does a robot do after s**...?
Nuts and bolts
Did you hear about the car mechanic who was in a brief relationship and then left?
There was an article in the newspaper.
MECHANIC NUTS AND BOLTS
How does a robot avoid getting caught for public m**...?
He nuts and bolts.
How to add extra fun during your amusement park ride ?
Carry some extra nuts and bolts with you.
as soon as the ride begins, Tap on the shoulder of the guy in front of you. Show them the nuts and bolts and ask
"Are these from your seat ? "
Why is Ricky the Robot a bad lover?
Shortly after he sticks it in, he nuts and bolts.
How do you know when a guy is a tool?
When he nuts and bolts
What do black men and robots have in common?
Nuts and bolts.
How does Bob the Builder have a one night stand?
He nuts and bolts
(Nsfw) Which Pixar character is the worst one to have s**... with?
Walle because he nuts and bolts.
Why is the handyman a bad boyfriend?
He nuts and bolts.
What was the news headline when a crazy man s**... assaulted two laundry women and ran away?
NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!
How does a male AI unit have s**...?
Nuts and bolts
Did you see the story in the newspaper about the s**... attack at the laundry?
The headline read "Nut screws washers and bolts"
The cops in my town are looking for a crazy man. He was last seen having s**... with a laundry machine.
Nut screws washer and bolts.
Why do you never hear "my dad is a mechanic"?
Because he nuts and bolts
How many Paladins does it take to install a ceiling lamp?
Two, one to the screw the bolts in and the other to uphold the light.
Male sexbots are an interesting concept in theory
Until you try one and you lose him because he nuts and bolts
My mate reckons he can tighten nuts and bolts just by sitting on them.
Personally I think he torques out of his a**...…
Did you hear about the mechanic who slept with my wife?
He nuts and bolts
I am creating a video game about a bear and bird that hire a p**... and then don't pay her.
I'm calling it "Banjo-Kazooie Nuts and Bolts"
How does a robot have s**...?
He nuts and bolts.
A mechanic makes for an awesome FWB.
He screws, nuts and bolts.
How do you make an mechanical frog?
You can't use bolts, you have to use revets
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
What does a robot do after s**...?
Screws, nuts and bolts
What do you call a brothel for construction workers?
Nuts N' Bolts
Did you hear about the guy that escaped from a loony bin, went to the laundromat and assaulted some patrons, then ran away?
The headline in the paper read,
> Nut Screws Washers and Bolts.
What does an emotionally detached mechanic do with a bar hook-up?
Nuts and bolts.
A man was making a robot out of whatever he could find
The head was an old toaster, the torso a series of welded wrenches and bolts, the arms and legs bits of rebar. It wasn't pretty, so he gave it an ugly name: Brek.
The thing worked fine, but it wasn't terribly balanced. The left hand was heavier than the other, so it always leaned to the left. While looking for something to balance it, he had Brek hold his cup of milk. As luck would have it, that was exactly what he needed - the robot was perfectly balanced.
Because milk is part of a balanced Brek fist.
army recruitment
If a war breaks out, I think they will take me to communication because I'm an electrical technician. When it was the last war, my grandfather was probably also in communication because he had two lightning bolts on his helmet.
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
So, these two engineers are trying to determine the height of a flagpole...
...A blonde woman wearing a tool belt and hardhat comes walking by, notices the engineers with their problem and goes over to help. She loosens the bolts at the base of the pole, lays it down on its side, then takes her tape measure and runs it down the side of the pole.
"26 feet 6 inches" She says to the two perplexed engineers, and then walks off.
One engineer looks at the other and says, "Typical blonde. We want the height and she gives us the length!"
Why does a robot do during a one night stand?
Nuts and bolts
An elderly Jew bolts into a church confessional
St Patrick's Cathedral. He pulls the curtain and says , Father. My name is Saul Hershkowitz. I'm 73 years old and I've been with a 22 year old girl. The priest says Saul, wait a minute. You're Jewish. Why are you telling me this? And the man says Hey Father, I'm telling everybody
