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Bolt Jokes

126 bolt jokes and hilarious bolt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bolt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get a bolt of laughter with these hilarious nut and bolt jokes! From puns about lightning bolts to jokes about Marco Bolt, the blacksmith and his upright wrench, these jokes are sure to make you chuckle. Read on for some bold fun!

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Funniest Bolt Short Jokes

Short bolt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bolt humour may include short belt jokes also.

  1. I bought a dog from a blacksmith this morning... ...within 10 minutes of getting him home he made a bolt for the door.
  2. All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together. At first it's boring, then it's riveting.
  3. My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together. At first it's boring, but later on, it's riveting!
  4. I bought a dog from a blacksmith. 10 minutes after we arrived home, the dog made a bolt for the door.
  5. I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith... As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.
  6. I bought a dog from a blacksmith today Within 10 minutes of being home he'd already made a bolt for the door
  7. I rescued a dog that belonged to a blacksmith. As soon as I brought it home, it made a bolt for the door
  8. I just bought a dog from the town blacksmith When I took it home, it made a bolt for the door.
  9. New Doggy I've just gone and bought a dog off a Blacksmith!!!
    As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door!
  10. I just bought a dog from a local blacksmith. As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door

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Bolt One Liners

Which bolt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bolt? I can suggest the ones about bold and bullet.

  1. What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
    I'll see myself out.
  2. I bought a dog from a blacksmith as soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.
  3. What does a mechanic do for a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
  4. What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus? He waits for it at the next stop.
  5. What's the engineering term for a one night stand? A nut and bolt.
  6. Fastest Bolt at the Olympics? Was it Usain Bolt or Ryan Lochte's ride to the airport?
  7. my dog is training to be a blacksmith every now and then he'll make a bolt for the door
  8. Do you know what a robot does on one night stand? Nuts and bolts.
  9. What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus? He waits at the next station
  10. What do you call a robots one night stand? A nut and bolt
  11. After Usain Bolt retires, he'll move to Iran.
  12. Why are mechanics absent fathers? Because they nut and bolt
  13. I recently saw a movie about nuts and bolts..... The plot was riveting!
  14. What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.
  15. What do mechanics call one night stands? Nuts & bolts

Usain Bolt Jokes

Here is a list of funny usain bolt jokes and even better usain bolt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • usain bolt usain bolt, the fastest man in the world, can run almost 30mph. that means if were to run in a neighborhood, he could get pulled over by the cops...for being black.
  • rumour suggest Usain Bolt has been cheating on his wife. I'm amazed she hasn't caught him. Then I remembered that he can finish in 9.58 seconds.
  • What's brown and sticky? A stick.
    What's brown and runny?
    Usain Bolt.
    What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
    Dr. Dre.
  • Usain Bolt can reach speeds up to 30 miles per hour. So in certain suburban neighborhoods, he might get arrested. For being black.
  • What does a cheetah call Usain Bolt? Fast food
  • What do the United States and Usain Bolt have in common? They both focus too much on race.
  • I was driving to work yesterday, when I spotted Usain Bolt on the sidewalk. I rolled the window down and offered him a lift. He said 'No thanks, I'm in a rush.'
  • If Bill Gates eats American food and Ghandi eats Indian food, what food does Usain Bolt eat? fast food
  • I saw Usain Bolt sprinting around the track shouting, "Why did the chicken cross the road!?" It was a running joke.
  • I don't understand all the excitement over Usain Bolt I finish in under ten seconds all the time.

Nut And Bolt Jokes

Here is a list of funny nut and bolt jokes and even better nut and bolt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A guy escaped from the lunatic asylum. He broke into the local laundromat, banged the female assistant and ran off.
    Headline in the local newspaper next day read,
    "Nut Screws Washer and Bolts .
  • What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand? He screws, nuts, and bolts
  • Thought of a great slogan for a construction company.. We screw, we nut, we bolt.
  • What does a robot do with his first girlfriend? He nuts and bolts
  • Hear about the mechanic who refuses to pay prostitutes? He screws, nuts and bolts.
  • Piece of Dating Advice Do not date a car mechanic if you're looking for a long term partner. Typically, a mechanic just nuts and bolts.
  • A lunatic seduced the laundry woman ... A lunatic seduced the laundry woman to get her keys, and promptly escaped from the asylum.
    Next day, the headlines read *Nut Screws Washer and Bolts!*
  • What does a robot do after a one-night stand? He nuts and bolts
  • I told her I'm a mechanical engineer I can't fix her car, but I can screw, nut, and bolt.
  • Women hate mechanics. All they do is screw, nut, and bolt.
Bolt joke, Women hate mechanics.

Lightning Bolt Jokes

Here is a list of funny lightning bolt jokes and even better lightning bolt puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the father lightning bolt do to his son when he miabehaved? He grounded him.
  • What did the fisherman say to the lightning bolt? "Mr. Spark, I don't reel so good"
  • What holds clouds together? Bolts of lightning.
  • If Harry Potter, as a baby, was struck twice by Voldemort... I don't think people would have celebrated him as much for having 2 lightning bolt shaped scars on his forehead
  • You know, a lightning bolt can make all the difference. One and you're a wizard, but two makes you a racist.
  • What did the lightning say to the cloud? I have to bolt.
  • It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie. You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the f**... and fit right in.
Bolt joke, It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about bolt can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of bolt puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Bolt Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about bolt you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean beam jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make bolt prank.

As electricians we are always amped for the day.

We bolt out of bed, shocked as always with how much we charge you.

I adopted a dog from a blacksmith today..

First thing he did when i got him home was make a bolt for the door.

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

Jesus vs Satan

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.
They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.
He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.
He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"
God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

So it's the first day of shop class...

The teacher asks, "What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."

Usain Bolt goes to a golf course...

He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'

A man is sitting in the dock at court.

The judge asks the man for his occupation.
"I'm a locksmith, your honour", the defendant replies.
"And what were you doing at the jewellers at three in the morning when police arrived at the scene", the judge inquires.
"I was making a bolt for the door".

Why do robots make bad boyfriends?

They just screw, nut, then bolt.

I was in shop class in high school and my teacher had a nail, a bolt, and a screw in his hand...

... He asked us if we knew the difference between them. A girl raised her hand and said, "Well, I've never been bolted."

What do you call Usain bolt when he's running from a lion?

Fast food

Who is faster?

Usain Bolt in the 100m finals or Ryan Lochte running through the airport to catch his flight out of Brazil?

A doctor was visiting a patient

She asked him 'doctor am I going to die?'
Out of pity the doctor told her the truth, 'we are all dying slowly, some just faster than others.'
The patient said, 'how fast am I dying.'
The doctor leaned over and said 'you are the usain bolt of dying.'

My new puppy is an excellent blacksmith...

...every time I yell he makes a bolt for the door!

New dog

So I brought this new dog home that I got from a blacksmith yesterday. As soon as we got home it made a bolt for the door.

You cant expect an honest person to beat Usain Bolt...

Only a cheetah can.

I think my new dog thinks he is a blacksmith

As soon as I took him inside he made a bolt for the door

How does one question the sanity of the fastest man alive?

U Sain Bolt?

I bought a dog off a locksmith today.

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door.

Usain Bolt

Why can't usain bolt listen to music?
- Because he broke the record!

I think my horse is a blacksmith.

I slapped him on the backside and he made a bolt for the door.

Usain Bolt was going for run around his neighborhood when a policeman pulled him over.

Usain, confused to why he was being apprehended, asked, "Is there a problem with a black man going for a run?"
The cop respond, "No, you were doing 30 in a 15."

I found a stray dog the other day.

I think it's owner was a blacksmith, because as soon as I brought the thing home it made a bolt for the door.

I bought a pair of drums without any drumsticks, so I decided to bolt them together.

I figured if you can't beat them, join them.

One day, Usain Bolt goes into a country club.

When he enters, the woman at the front desk stops him, and says, "Sorry, we don't allow b**... in here. But there's another club 10 minutes down the road that does."
Visibly furious, Bolt exclaims, "Do you know who I am? I'm Usain Bolt!"
"Oh! I'm sorry", says the woman. "Then it's only 5 minutes down the road."

Why can't Usain Bolt listen to music when he's running?

Because the silly fool keeps breaking the records.

I had to go to my Grandmother's f**... yesterday...

...just as the graveside service had ended, there was an almighty rumble of thunder, followed by a bolt of lightning.
My Grandfather turned to the Priest and said, "well, she's there and now it's His problem!"

What do you call it when a mechanic has s**... with a girl and never sees her again?

Nut and bolt

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and h**...?

One could actually finish a race.

Why do machinists leave so quickly after s**...?

They just screw, nut, and bolt

Why did the cannibal not eat Usain Bolt?

They're cutting back on fast food.

The big race

It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!
People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!
Because...cheetah's never win.

What do you call a one night stand with a construction worker?

Nut and bolt.

Judge to carpenter: "You were arrested during a drugs bust in a gambling den. What were you doing there?"

"Making a bolt for the door, your honour."

What happens if you tighten a Bolt too much?

You bust a Nut

how do you turn a screw into a bolt?

the spouse comes home.

What did the robot do after being caught sleeping with the neighbor's wife?

Nut and Bolt

Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf together.

Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus "I hate playing with your dad."

The Right Choice

An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise."
The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."

I tried to kidnap a blacksmith, but when I turned my back ...

... he made a bolt for the door.

A priest and an atheist are playing golf.

The priest is okay, but the atheist is s**.... He keeps missing his shots. Every time he misses a shot, he says 'Damn, missed!' The priest got more and more agitated at the use of the word 'damn', and eventually snapped. He said, 'Do not use that word or God himself will strike you down!' There's an immediate ruble from the sky, and a bolt of lighting shoots down and vaporizes the priest into ash. A booming voice rings out across the golf course, striking fear into the golfers, and says:
'Damn, missed!'

I bought a dog from a blacksmith.

I realized he was a blacksmith, because when I got the dog home he made a bolt for the door.

Usain Bolt lands at an airport

his plane lands 10 minutes later.

Moses, Jesus and an old man were playing golf.

Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Hole in one.
Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. Hole in one.
The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole.
Moses turns to Jesus and says
"I hate playing with your dad."

John is playing golf with the vicar

He misses a three foot putt, and says "d**..., missed the buggar."
The vicar warns him "keep talking like that and God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning."
John then misses a two foot putt, and repeats "d**..., missed the buggar."
Sure enough, God opens the heavens and sends down a lightning bolt, but it strikes the vicar and he falls over dead.
"d**..., missed the buggar." God says.

Did you hear about the terrified Blacksmith?

They made a bolt for the door.

I bought a dog from a locksmith.

The second I got him into the house, he made a bolt for the door.

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf h**...?

Usain Bolt knows how to finish a race

I once bought a dog from a blacksmith..

Only had him half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.

How do you keep a bolt from stripping?

Help it find a better job.

Bolt joke, How do you keep a bolt from stripping?

jokes about bolt

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these bolt jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.