Boiling Water Jokes
121 boiling water jokes and hilarious boiling water puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boiling water that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Boiling Water Short Jokes
Short boiling water jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boiling water humour may include short boiling jokes also.
- Just been challenged to a water fight by next door brat kids... Popped on here to check messages while the kettle boils.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? I'm not sure if I can get hard, I was just laid this morning.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Not sure I can get hard..just got laid 10 minutes ago"
- What did the blonde do with the boiling water? Froze it - you never know when you're going to need boiling water.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? Sorry I can't get hard right now. I just got laid.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
- The kids next door just challenged me to a water fight. So I'd thought I'd post this while I wait for the kettle to boil.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? Don't expect me to get hard in three minutes, I just got laid this morning!
Share These Boiling Water Jokes With Friends
Boiling Water One Liners
Which boiling water one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boiling water? I can suggest the ones about water boils and boiling pot.
- RIP boiling water You will be mist.
- Today I learned boiling water was really smart. It has like, 100 degree.
- R.I.P boiled water... You will be mist
- Rest in peace boiling water, You will be mist.
- My best friend died in a freak boiling water accident. He will be mist.
- Rest in peace to the water I just boiled. It will be mist.
- Goodbye boiled water you will be mist
- Rest in piece the Boiling Water… It will be mist
- RIP boiled water. You shall be mist.
- The boiling water died It shall be mist.
- A clever one from Yahoo! Answers Sea water equals salt. That's what it boils down to.
- It's always a sad day when I end up having to boil water. It will be mist.
- Where did the boiling water go? It's a mistery.
- What do you get when you boil holy water? Eve apparition.
- Always use a lid when boiling water. It'll make it boil a lid-le faster!
Humorous Boiling Water Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about boiling water you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boiling egg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boiling water pranks.
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large p**... of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other m**... couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other m**... replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
Q: What do you call a p**... of angry water?
A: Boiling mad.
I like my women like i like my coffee...
...Always there to brighten my morning
...Decaffeinated
...Black and strong
...Tall
...Grande
...Brazilian
...With sauce
...Twice before I leave the house
...Right before I smoke
...Bitter and cold
...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a p**...
...Slow roasted
...Ground up in my freezer
...With boiling water poured over them
...Light and sweet
...A day old
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
it's going to be a while before I get hot - I just got laid by a chick.
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
Its going to take me a while to get hard because I was just laid.
There are two eggs in a pan of boiling water
One says "oh! I've got a small crack."
The other replies "don't worry, I'm only half hard."
she can't open windows.
On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:
Windows frozen, it won't open
Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside
Five minutes later, wife texts back.
Computer's really s**... up now...
Vampires love tea...
A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used t**... and says, "I'm making tea"!
A vampire walks into a bar
This vampire walks into a bar. Says ooOOOooOOOooo boogity boogity. Bar tender says "Alright, well what'll you have?" Vampire sits down and says can I get a big glass of hot water?" Bartender goes, gets a giant cup of boiling water and says "Here. I thought you guys needed blood or something like that though, why hot water?" Vampire reaches into his coat pocket, pulls out this giant t**... and says "I'm making tea."
Must be one-of-a-kind...
Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly s**....
"What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?"
"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."
When it boils down to it
water is just steam.
Did you hear about the water that got so angry that he boiled himself?
He just had to let off some steam.
Why does boiling water make noise?
... Because of Bacteria seeking help.
What was said the boiled waters f**...?
You will be mist.
What's the difference between boiling water and a woman's hands?
Boiling water softens a piece of meat. A woman's hands does the opposite.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I don't know if I can get hard I just got laid this morning!
I've caught you canoodling.
You're really in hot water now.
I can see tensions are boiling.
Perhaps we'd better leave this issue in the pasta tense.
Sieve and let sieve?
What's the difference between a gamer and a p**... of boiling water?
A p**... of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it.
Count Dracula walks into a bar...
and asks the bar man for a cup of boiling water. The bar man quickly returns with the water as requested, and puts it on the bar in front of Dracula. Curious, the bar man says to Dracula "Forgive me, but I thought you vampires only drank blood, what do you want the hot water for?" Dracula takes a used t**... from his cloak pocket. "For making tea, of course" replies Dracula.
Why did the blonde freeze a p**... of boiling water?
Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.
What's the difference between friends and potatoes?
Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.
Three vampires walk into a bar...
The first two order a pint of blood each, the third asks for a jug of boiling water, confused the barman asks "why?". The vampire pulls out a used t**... and says "I'm making tea"
Why was the cook sad when all the water in his p**... boiled away?
Because he mist it.
The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight.
I'm just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.
Today in class we learnt what makes water boil!
The science behind it is mistifying!
Dirtiest clean joke I know...
What did the egg say to the boiling water....? It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just came outta this chik! :p
A Russian officer is giving his cadets a lesson about chemistry.
He says: "Cadets, write down: the temperature of boiling water is 90°."
One of the privates replies, "Comrade praporshchik, you're mistaken — it's 100°!"
The officer consults his handbook, and then announces, "Right, 100°. It is a *right angle* that boils at 90°."
A vampire walks into a bar and asks for for a cup of boiling water
The bartender says to the vampire dont vampiers drink blood? the vampire pulls out a used t**... and say yes im making tea!
Are you boiling water?
Are you boiling water, because you make my noodle soft.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
How do you expect me to get hard when I got laid just a moment ago.
Egg to the boiling water
'It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just got laid by a chick'
They say dunking your head in cold water helps wake you up
But no one realizes boiling water is much more effective
A Weapon Of Mass Destruction...
A cabbage and beer f**..., with a couple of boiled eggs thrown in, in the second pew at the 10:00 service at St. Agnes of the Holy Water Church...
I was boiling some water earlier...
... it will be mist. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Eggs have it bad for boiling water.
Unfortunately, it'll take them a while to get hard since they just got laid by a chick.
Goodbye, boiling water...
you will be mist
**Disclaimer: Not scientifically accurate**
A genie offered a man 1 wish. All the genie asked in return was for the man to boil some water and make him a tea. But the man refused.
The man decided the price was to steep.
SCIENTIST: I just boiled water.
ME: Solid.
SCIENTIST: No.
ME: I just mean that's cool.
SCIENTIST: WRONG AGAIN!
Math hole told to me 20 years ago by a professor
What's the difference between a physicist and mathematician?
There's a p**... of water on the table and both the physicist and mathematician are asked to boil it. The physicist picks it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematicians picked it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner.
Next the p**... is placed on the floor with the same instructions. The physicist once again picks it up, places it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematician picks it up and puts it on the table, thus reducing it to a problem that's already been solved.
LPTFI (Life Pro Tip For Idiots) Are you tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?
Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later...
I was in the jungle and I saw these two suspicious guys cracking eggs into boiling water.
They were poachers
Life saving home remedies: if you ever find yourself choking on an ice cube.......
Quick drink a cup of boiling water
I love taking photos of myself standing next to boiling water.
My doctor says I have selfie steam issues.
If you're tired of boiling water for pasta
then boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later
The kid next door challenged me to a water fight
what's up guys, I'm just here killing time while the water boils
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It'll be a minute before I get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
Rest in peach boiled water!
You will be mist
So my boyfriend's kettle has boiled dry all the water inside and he said "RIP water..."
"You will be mist."
The boiled water died
He shall be mist
Boiling water
You will be mist
What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?
A HIGH-p**...-IN-USE
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
"It might take me a minute to get hard... I just got laid this morning."
Just got challenged to a water fight by the neighbors kids
Decided to pop on here for a while the water boils
How do you make Holy water?
You boil the h... Oh wait, this is a re-post, isn't it?
Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?
Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
My mate just asked me if he could put a teabag in my mouth and fill me with boiling water.
He must think I'm some kind of mug.
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.
I like my women the way I like my coffee
Dissolved in a large mug of boiling water :)
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
The kid next door challenged me to a water fight
Thought I'd post it here while the water boils.
Dracula walks into a bar.
He orders a cup of boiling water. The barman pours a cup from the kettle and gives it Dracula; he says "No b**... Mary today?"
Dracula reaches into his pocket and pulls out a string. Then a used t**... pops out of Dracula's pocket and he lowers the t**... by the string into the cup of water. Then Dracula carefully lays the string over the side of the cup and says "No thanks. Today I'm just having tea."
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs boiling in a p**... of water?
Stew
How to make holy water?
Boil the h**... out of it.
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**
A vampire walks into a pub...
... and asks the barman for a cup of boiling water.
"I thought you lot only drank blood" says the barman.
The vampire reaches into his pocket and pulls out a used t**...;
"I'm making a cup of tea."
Do you know how Holy water is made?
They boil the h**... out of it.