Boiling Pot Jokes
33 boiling pot jokes and hilarious boiling pot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boiling pot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Boiling Pot Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good boiling pot joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
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Must be one-of-a-kind...
Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly s**....
"What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?"
"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."
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My wife asked me why I was yelling at the p**... of water on the stove.
I said, water boils ~~faster~~ hotter under pressure.
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Math hole told to me 20 years ago by a professor
What's the difference between a physicist and mathematician?
There's a p**... of water on the table and both the physicist and mathematician are asked to boil it. The physicist picks it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematicians picked it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner.
Next the p**... is placed on the floor with the same instructions. The physicist once again picks it up, places it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematician picks it up and puts it on the table, thus reducing it to a problem that's already been solved.
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How to make macaroni and cheese
Boil a p**... of water, put pasta in water and wait until soft.
Drain water from pasta.
Go into trash can to retrieve box because you forgot how much butter to add
add butter and mix
go back into trash to retrieve box because you forgot how much milk to add
add milk and cheese and mix.
realize you left box on counter this time and throw it out again.
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I was boiling some noodles until the p**... suddenly began to float.
Needless to say, it was soup rising.
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What's the difference between a gamer and a p**... of boiling water?
A p**... of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it.
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Everyone is always concerned how dirty my kitchenware is
Well my grandma always told me "a washed p**... never boils"
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Restaurant tries m**... for lobsters to take the edge off being boiled
Be careful because watched p**... never boils.
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Why does a watched p**... never boil?
Because it's a pressured cooker
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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs boiling in a p**... of water?
Stew
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A watched p**... never boils
but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses
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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large p**... of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other m**... couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other m**... replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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Why was the cook sad when all the water in his p**... boiled away?
Because he mist it.
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Q: What do you call a p**... of angry water?
A: Boiling mad.
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I was boiling a p**... of water on max temperature
It went from 0 to 100 real quick
P.S sorry Americans
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What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest?
A HIGH-p**...-IN-USE
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I should have been more attentive; my p**... has unexpectedly boiled over
Honestly. It was a little soup rising.
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What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?
Finding a p**... big enough for the wheelchair.
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A watched p**... boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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Why does boiling water hurt??
I mean, it's just p**... water
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Restaurant Order
A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a p**... of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"
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Did you hear that the saucepan beat the p**... in a wrestling match?
It was a real boil over.
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Boiling Pot One Liners
Which boiling pot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boiling pot? I can suggest the ones about boiling water and boiling.
- Why does a watched p**... never boil? Because it's a pressured cooker
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs boiling in a p**... of water? Stew
- A watched p**... never boils but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses
- Why was the cook sad when all the water in his p**... boiled away? Because he mist it.
- Q: What do you call a p**... of angry water?
A: Boiling mad. - What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest? A HIGH-p**...-IN-USE
- A watched p**... boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
- Why does boiling water hurt?? I mean, it's just p**... water
- Why is it so tragic when all the water boils out of a p**...? Because it will be mist.