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Boiling Pot Jokes

39 boiling pot jokes and hilarious boiling pot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boiling pot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Boiling Pot Short Jokes

Short boiling pot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boiling pot humour may include short cooking pot jokes also.

  1. What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water? It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.
  2. Two eggs are put into a p**... of boiling water, what did one egg say to the other? It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I got laid last night
  3. What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water? Its going to take me a while to get hard because I was just laid.
  4. My wife asked me why I was yelling at the p**... of water on the stove. I said, water boils ~~faster~~ hotter under pressure.
  5. I was boiling some noodles until the p**... suddenly began to float. Needless to say, it was soup rising.
  6. What's the difference between a gamer and a p**... of boiling water? A p**... of boiling water doesn't get salty when you put a tea-bag in it.
  7. Why did the blonde freeze a p**... of boiling water? Because you never know when you're going to need some boiling water.
  8. Everyone is always concerned how dirty my kitchenware is Well my grandma always told me "a washed p**... never boils"
  9. Restaurant tries m**... for lobsters to take the edge off being boiled Be careful because watched p**... never boils.
  10. What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water? What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
    "It might take me a minute to get hard... I just got laid this morning."

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Boiling Pot One Liners

Which boiling pot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boiling pot? I can suggest the ones about boiling water and boiling.

  1. Why does a watched p**... never boil? Because it's a pressured cooker
  2. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs boiling in a p**... of water? Stew
  3. A watched p**... never boils but a redhead will sunburn regardless of witnesses
  4. Why was the cook sad when all the water in his p**... boiled away? Because he mist it.
  5. Q: What do you call a p**... of angry water?
    A: Boiling mad.
  6. What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of Mount Everest? A HIGH-p**...-IN-USE
  7. A watched p**... boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
  8. Why does boiling water hurt?? I mean, it's just p**... water
  9. Why is it so tragic when all the water boils out of a p**...? Because it will be mist.

Boiling Pot Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about boiling pot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boil jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boiling pot pranks.

Must be one-of-a-kind...

Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly s**....
"What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?"
"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."

Math hole told to me 20 years ago by a professor

What's the difference between a physicist and mathematician?
There's a p**... of water on the table and both the physicist and mathematician are asked to boil it. The physicist picks it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematicians picked it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner.
Next the p**... is placed on the floor with the same instructions. The physicist once again picks it up, places it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematician picks it up and puts it on the table, thus reducing it to a problem that's already been solved.

I like my women like i like my coffee...

...Always there to brighten my morning
...Decaffeinated
...Black and strong
...Tall
...Grande
...Brazilian
...With sauce
...Twice before I leave the house
...Right before I smoke
...Bitter and cold
...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a p**...
...Slow roasted
...Ground up in my freezer
...With boiling water poured over them
...Light and sweet
...A day old

How to make macaroni and cheese

Boil a p**... of water, put pasta in water and wait until soft.
Drain water from pasta.
Go into trash can to retrieve box because you forgot how much butter to add
add butter and mix
go back into trash to retrieve box because you forgot how much milk to add
add milk and cheese and mix.
realize you left box on counter this time and throw it out again.

Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large p**... of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other m**... couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other m**... replied, "I just peed in the soup!"

I was boiling a p**... of water on max temperature

It went from 0 to 100 real quick
P.S sorry Americans

I should have been more attentive; my p**... has unexpectedly boiled over

Honestly. It was a little soup rising.

What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a p**... big enough for the wheelchair.

What did the egg say after he was put in a p**... of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard.

Restaurant Order

A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a p**... of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"

Did you hear that the saucepan beat the p**... in a wrestling match?

It was a real boil over.