Boiled Egg Jokes
85 boiled egg jokes and hilarious boiled egg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boiled egg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Boiled Egg Short Jokes
Short boiled egg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boiled egg humour may include short boiling egg jokes also.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.
- A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? I'm not sure if I can get hard, I was just laid this morning.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Not sure I can get hard..just got laid 10 minutes ago"
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? Sorry I can't get hard right now. I just got laid.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It may take me a while to get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? Don't expect me to get hard in three minutes, I just got laid this morning!
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? I don't know if I can get hard I just got laid this morning!
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard because I just got laid last night.
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Boiled Egg One Liners
Which boiled egg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boiled egg? I can suggest the ones about hard boiled egg and poached egg.
- Breakfast musings... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- A boiled egg in the morning... It's pretty hard to beat.
- A boiled egg in the morning... is hard to beat.
- I can never find a good channel where people boil eggs They're always scrambled
- What do you call boiling period blood in a saucepot? Egg drop soup.
- Are you hungry and looking for something to eat? A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- What happens when an EGG gets angry? it gets boiled
- You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
- Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
- The inventor of hard boiled eggs wrapped in sausage meat has just died. RIP Scott Chegg.
Hard Boiled Egg Jokes
Here is a list of funny hard boiled egg jokes and even better hard boiled egg puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There are two eggs in a pan of boiling water One says "oh! I've got a small crack."
The other replies "don't worry, I'm only half hard." - What did the egg say to the boiling water? How do you expect me to get hard when I got laid just a moment ago.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It'll be a minute before I get hard. I just got laid by a chick.
- You Know It's Hot When ... Cows are giving evaporated milk ...
Chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs ...
Catfish are already fried when caught ...
Jehovah Witnesses start telemarketing ... - What did the egg say to the boiling water? I was laid this morning..... I don't know if I can get hard just yet
- Eggs have it bad for boiling water. Unfortunately, it'll take them a while to get hard since they just got laid by a chick.
- Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female... The female egg says "Oh my, look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg, "I'm not even hard yet" - Eggs Two eggs boiling in a pan.
One says,"I've got a huge crack."
The other replies,"Stop teasing me, I'm not hard yet." - Dirtiest clean joke I know... What did the egg say to the boiling water....? It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just came outta this chik! :p
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by a chick.
Amusing Boiled Egg Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about boiled egg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hard boiled eggs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boiled egg pranks.
What did the egg say after he was put in a p**.
.. of boiling water? I just got laid by a chick and now I'm getting hard.
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "
Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
it's going to be a while before I get hot - I just got laid by a chick.
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
Its going to take me a while to get hard because I was just laid.
Horrible Breakfast
wife: "do u want your eggs boiled?"
husband: "no, first boil your milk"
Must be one-of-a-kind...
Years ago, my older friend told me a joke that I have never heard from anyone else to this day. The joke itself is brilliantly s**....
"What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?"
"It's going to take a moment for me to get hard; I just got laid by some chick."
The wife
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Egg timer
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
I googled "boiled eggs microwave" and learned that is possible but the eggs might explode.
Good news everyone, I like eggs and explosions. I can't lose.
Morning s**...
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
the tee shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming
or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, 'Thanks', and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, What was that all about?"
She explained, The egg timer's broken."
A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live."
The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."
Morning s**.......
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Morning s**...
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the T shirt she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lift up as I thought, "I'm either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!" not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she said "Thanks," and walked back to the stove, her T shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?" She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
Egg to the boiling water
'It's gonna take a minute for me to get hard, I just got laid by a chick'
Restaurant Order
A resident in a hotel breakfast room called the waiter to his table.
"I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so overcooked, it's tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a p**... of very weak coffee, luke-warm."
"That's a complicated order, Sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."
The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I got yesterday!!"
I make fun of my parents for not knowing how to use new technology
But then again, I googled how to boil an egg
A Weapon Of Mass Destruction...
A cabbage and beer f**..., with a couple of boiled eggs thrown in, in the second pew at the 10:00 service at St. Agnes of the Holy Water Church...
My grandmother passed away.
Grandfather tried to stay positive about living the single life.
He said: "Who needs a wife anyway?
-How hard can it be to boil Bacon and Eggs?"
This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast and as I walked in, she turned to me and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all and I gave her a b**... right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she said, "Thanks." and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"
She chuckled, "The egg timer's broken."
I was in the jungle and I saw these two suspicious guys cracking eggs into boiling water.
They were poachers
What can you expect from a bad egg comedian?
He's constantly scrambling to fry and crack you up with some "egg-celent" yolk, but boil boy are they bad.
Hard boiled eggs are disgusting!
How does anyone eat them? The crunchy soft mix is absolutely disgusting, It's like eating ravioli covered in chips.
Mike, why do you have a fried egg on your head?
Mike: Because a boiled egg would just roll off
I don't understand hard boiled eggs...
The crunchy and the squishy just don't go well together.
Unexpected morning s**...:
I stumbled into the kitchen to see my wife cooking our usual breakfast of soft-boiled eggs and toast.
Barely awake, I thought perhaps I was dreaming when she suddenly took off her gown and demanded I make love with her there and then.
Soon finished, she turned back to the stove and said thanks . I said, My pleasure, dear, you seemed so inspired, thank you!
Dryly, she drawled, Don't get used to it, the egg timer's broken.
This is no yolk
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, I've got a huge ........
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, I've got a huge crack. The other replies, Stop teasing me I'm not F*cking hard yet .
Roses are red. Violets are blue…
Poetry is hard. I'm hungry hmmmm
Hard
Hard boiled eggs
Mmmm bacon and eggs
Sorry where was I?
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
"It might take me a minute to get hard... I just got laid this morning."
What did the egg say to the p**... of boiling water?
It might take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid this morning.
Whats so funny on that?
A man sits at his doctor's office after getting a check up and getting bad news:
Doctor: "I'm very sorry but you will die very soon"
Man: "Oh no! How long do i have?"
Doctor: "Very soon, i guess in 3 to 6 minutes"
Man: "Oh God! Is there nothing u can do for me?"
Doctor: "Well..., I could boil you an egg..."
How do French people know how long to boil an egg?
They just know when they boiled enough.
Make Love To Me
A woman is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. Her husband walks in. She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me, this very moment." His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives her his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she says, "Thanks." Then she returns to the stove. Puzzled at her casual demeanor after such an unusual event, he asks, "What was that all about?" She explains; "The egg timer's broken."
Two eggs are put into a p**... of boiling water, what did one egg say to the other?
It's going to take me a minute to get hard, I got laid last night
My son was eating his boiled egg for breakfast, when he said dad, I think this egg is out of date.
I said stop messing about, just eat it.
He said but Dad it's really really out of date.
I said I don't care, just eat the d**... thing!
He said Okay dad, but do I have to eat the beak and feet too?
