Boil Jokes
60 boil jokes and hilarious boil puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boil that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Boil Short Jokes
Short boil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boil humour may include short kettle jokes also.
- Just been challenged to a water fight by next door brat kids... Popped on here to check messages while the kettle boils.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a little while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick.
- A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar..... The bartender says " Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here".
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? I'm not sure if I can get hard, I was just laid this morning.
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."
- A man died due to his obsession of taking photos of himself next to a boiling kettle He had serious selfie steam issues.
- A cowboy ran out of food on the trail so he had to boil and eat his leather chaps. The next day he pooped his pants.
- My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, "This dinner is disgusting" then my wife said, "Well, boil your own toast next time then"
- What did the egg say to the boiling water? "Not sure I can get hard..just got laid 10 minutes ago"
- What did the blonde do with the boiling water? Froze it - you never know when you're going to need boiling water.
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Boil One Liners
Which boil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boil? I can suggest the ones about brew and roast.
- If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock. That's pretty humerus.
- RIP boiling water You will be mist.
- What do you get if you boil funnybones? A laughing stock.
- Today I learned boiling water was really smart. It has like, 100 degree.
- R.I.P boiled water... You will be mist
- I tell you what makes my blood boil, faulty spacesuits.
- What happens if you boil your funny bone? You make a laughing stock of yourself :)
- Did you know, if you boil a funny bone... It becomes a laughing stock.
- Rest in peace boiling water, You will be mist.
- My best friend died in a freak boiling water accident. He will be mist.
- Breakfast musings... A boiled egg is hard to beat.
- Rest in peace to the water I just boiled. It will be mist.
- I over boiled some venison broth earlier... It was deerly mist.
- What do you call a clown after you've boiled it for 10 hours? A laughing stock!
- I'm so hungry right now I could boil a hyena! But I'd only make myself a laughing stock.
Entertaining Boil Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about boil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cook jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boil pranks.
What do you get when you boil a funny bone?
Laughingstock.
The kid next door challenged me to a water balloon fight.
I'm just going to update my Facebook status while waiting for the kettle to boil.
I HATE being stuck in a vacuum chamber
Makes my blood boil
A boiled egg in the morning...
is hard to beat.
The kids next door just challenged me to a water fight.
So I'd thought I'd post this while I wait for the kettle to boil.
I can never find a good channel where people boil eggs
They're always scrambled
I make fun of my parents for not knowing how to use new technology
But then again, I googled how to boil an egg
Math hole told to me 20 years ago by a professor
What's the difference between a physicist and mathematician?
There's a p**... of water on the table and both the physicist and mathematician are asked to boil it. The physicist picks it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematicians picked it up, puts it on the range, and lights the burner.
Next the p**... is placed on the floor with the same instructions. The physicist once again picks it up, places it on the range, and lights the burner. The mathematician picks it up and puts it on the table, thus reducing it to a problem that's already been solved.
If you're tired of boiling water for pasta
then boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later
The boiled water died
He shall be mist
Boiling water
You will be mist
It's always a sad day when I end up having to boil water.
It will be mist.
Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta?
Boil some at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later.
You Know What Really Makes My Blood Boil?
Temperatures Of Over 100 Degrees Celsius.
Whats so funny on that?
A man sits at his doctor's office after getting a check up and getting bad news:
Doctor: "I'm very sorry but you will die very soon"
Man: "Oh no! How long do i have?"
Doctor: "Very soon, i guess in 3 to 6 minutes"
Man: "Oh God! Is there nothing u can do for me?"
Doctor: "Well..., I could boil you an egg..."
What do you get when you boil a clown?
Laughing stock
How to make holy water?
Boil the h**... out of it.
The boiling water died
It shall be mist.
Do you know how Holy water is made?
They boil the h**... out of it.
How to make macaroni and cheese
Boil a p**... of water, put pasta in water and wait until soft.
Drain water from pasta.
Go into trash can to retrieve box because you forgot how much butter to add
add butter and mix
go back into trash to retrieve box because you forgot how much milk to add
add milk and cheese and mix.
realize you left box on counter this time and throw it out again.
This is how u make holy water:
U take the water, and boil the h**... out of it
How do French people know how long to boil an egg?
They just know when they boiled enough.
I was boiling some noodles until the p**... suddenly began to float.
Needless to say, it was soup rising.
Make Love To Me
A woman is in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. Her husband walks in. She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me, this very moment." His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day." Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives her his all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she says, "Thanks." Then she returns to the stove. Puzzled at her casual demeanor after such an unusual event, he asks, "What was that all about?" She explains; "The egg timer's broken."
How do you make holy water?
Just boil the h**... out of it!
Where did the boiling water go?
It's a mistery.
How does the church make holy water?
They take regular tap water, and boil the h**... out of it!
What do you get when you boil holy water?
Eve apparition.
Always use a lid when boiling water.
It'll make it boil a lid-le faster!
I hate it when my fellow astronauts eject me into space without a suit.
It makes my blood boil.
how do you make holy water?
HOLY WATER
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the h**... out of it!
How do you turn a goose into a musician?
You boil it until its Bill Withers.
Elon Musk has announced a new recipe for chicken soup
First you boil the chicken in water and then you dump the stock.
A pair of cannibals were discussing their recent meals
One said "I found some Catholic monks when I was in the woods; took home the meat and boiled it up. Tasted TERRIBLE!"
The other said "Idiot. You don't boil monks- those are friars!"
I hate it when people use metaphors that are physically impossible.
It makes my blood boil.
A boiled egg in the morning...
It's pretty hard to beat.
