Bodyguard Jokes
26 bodyguard jokes and hilarious bodyguard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bodyguard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Bodyguard Short Jokes
Short bodyguard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The bodyguard humour may include short security guard jokes also.
- I was one step away from hitting the rock bottom His bodyguard caught me, Dwayne is a well protected man
- French Presidential bodyguard accidentally discharges weapon whilst on duty... France & Italy have both offer their immediate unconditional surrender.
- Went to see the movie 'The Bodyguard' with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner. It was ok. They loved it though.
- A telepathic alien diplomat once said to his human colleague: "Your bodyguards loathe you secretly." The human was alienated immensely.
- Protester: Pardon me, is this the queue for Raki? Erdogan bodyguard: No, it's the punchline.
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Bodyguard One Liners
Which bodyguard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with bodyguard? I can suggest the ones about armed guards and life guard.
- By all means shoot for the stars Just aim for their bodyguards first
- What do you call Shakira's bodyguards? shakira-ty guards
- What do you call a mixed-up martial artist bodyguard? Indefinite Lee
- What do you call an Irish bodyguard? Liam Malone.
- Bodyguard 1. Sezon 6. Bölüm
- When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
- What would the bodyguards shout if the White House was attacked? Donald Duck
- Pingu was originally supposed to be Rocket Raccoon's bodyguard. "I am noot."
- What do you call Linux' bodyguards with no b**...? Unix
Hilarious Bodyguard Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about bodyguard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prison guard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make bodyguard pranks.
An assassin is running towards Trump
His personal bodyguard sees him and shouts Mickey Mouse . This startles the assassin and he runs off in the other direction.
Trump turns to his bodyguard and says Thank you, but why did you yell Mickey Mouse The bodyguard replies Sorry Sir, I meant to say Donald, Duck.
Stalin and Roosevelt were arguing over whose bodyguards were more loyal...
...and ordered them to jump out of the window on the fifteenth floor. Roosevelt's bodyguard flatly refused to jump, saying "I'm thinking about the future of my family." Stalin's bodyguard, however, jumped out of the window and fell to his death. Roosevelt was taken aback.
"Tell me, why did your man do that?" he asked.
Stalin lit his pipe and replied:
"He was thinking about the future of his family, too."
Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.
Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.
One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."
The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."
Vladimir Putin, surrounded by his aides and bodyguards.....
visits a modern art exhibition. "What the h**... is this green circle with yellow spots all over?" he asked. His aide answered, "This painting, president Putin, depicts our heroic peasants fighting for the fulfillment of the plan to produce two hundred million tons of grain."
"Ah-h… And what is this black triangle with red strips?" "This painting shows our heroic industrial workers in a factory." "And what is this dwarf with donkey ears?"
"Mr. president, this is not a painting, this is a mirror."
h**...' bodyguard was guarding his bedroom door.
A guy walks up to him and asks, "How do you like being h**...'s bodyguard?". The bodyguard replies, "It's okay, but I am starting to have second thoughts. The guy says, "Why is that?". The bodyguard responds, "Well all these time travelers from the future keep coming back to try to kill him".
How many flat earthers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three experts in logistics, one metereologist, two cooks plus six foragers, two engineers, two pilots, two drivers, one cartographer, a steward, a communications expert, someone in charge of the journal, eight porters, five mountain climbers, five divers, two armed bodyguards, and a captain for the expedition that will find the secret instructions written 6000 years ago on stone tablets by the Mayas.
Did you hear about the mishap at the Asia Summit?
The Chinese government is seeking answers after the recent Beijing Conference. Apparently, several of Obama's and Putin's private bodyguards were the last to use one of the royal toilets before it was reported clogged.
Obama announced that he will ask congress to create a commission to investigate the incident while Putin denies that his forces ever entered the bathroom.
