Body Shop Jokes
33 body shop jokes and hilarious body shop puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about body shop that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Body Shop Short Jokes
Short body shop jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The body shop humour may include short repair shop jokes also.
- While I was out shopping today I tipped in the store a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
- I used to go into shopping centres and rotate the body parts of the mannequins... I don't think everyone noticed, but I certainly turned a few heads.
- Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road?
Answer: To go to the body shop. - Joke my brother told when he was little..... Why did the cannibal cross the road.....
To get to the body shop...... - Only 20 people are allowed to gather for a f**... ....because the spirit has already left the body.
However 1000's allowed to gather near an alcohol shop because the spirit has to enter the body!
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Body Shop One Liners
Which body shop one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with body shop? I can suggest the ones about beauty shop and mechanic shop.
- Why did the pasta chef take his car into the body shop? Cause it got al dente'd up!
- Why did the cannibal cross the road? To get to the body shop!
- Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop. - What kind of doctor works in an auto body shop? A dent-ist
- Sometimes I like walking into a Body Shop and scream... "I ALREADY HAVE ONE"
- Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop. - Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop. - Why are there so many body shops in heaven? Abortion.
Body Shop Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about body shop you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chip shop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make body shop pranks.
The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...
..."This is the whey"
(Sorry)
Impact of a job change.
A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop
The driver said: "Don't ever do that again man! You scared me!"
Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs
Penguin experiencing car trouble
Hot summer day and Mr. Penguin's car breaks down. Takes it to the body shop, and Joe Mechanic tells him to give him half an hour to look it over, and then come back.
To kill some time, Mr. Penguin goes to the local ice cream parlor. After finishing his tasty, frosty treat, he goes back to the body shop.
"Well," says the mechanic, "looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," says the penguin -- "It's just ice cream."
There was a snail who took his brand new sports car into the body shop and got a custom paint job.
He asked for racing stripes, flames, lightning bolts…you name it.
But there was one thing about the paint job the body shop owner just couldn't understand.
The snail wanted a big S on the driver's and passenger's doors.
When asked about them the snail said:
When I drive by someone at high speed I want them to say 'Look at that S-car go.'
Its all about the Spirit!
Only 20 people are allowed during a f**... as the spirit has already left the body.
1000 people are allowed in long queues at a liquor shop as the spirit is still in the bottle.
Impact of Job Change!!
One day, A taxi passenger touched driver on his shoulder to ask something. Driver screamed, lost control of car, went up on footpath & stopped few inches from a shop.
The passenger apologised & said: "I didn't realise that a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: Sorry it's not your fault, it's my 1st day as a cab driver, I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies from last 25 years.
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
An elderly man goes to a shopping mall...
... And decides to sit down for a while in the food court. A few moments pass by and a young man sits a few tables away from him. This young man has a mohawk taller than half of his body and dyed every color of the rainbow. The old man begins staring at the young man and eventually the latter gets aggravated, walks up to the elderly man and asks "Whatcha staring for old man? Haven't you ever done anything wild and crazy before?" The elderly man says "Sure have. Got drunk in the Army once and had s**... with a peacock. Just trying to determine if you might be my son."
A very successful lawyer buys a new Ferrari...
He parks in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too close and completely tears the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up to take a report.
Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically. His Ferrari, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally winds down from his ranting and raving, the officer shakes his head in disgust.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "All you care about is money and your possessions."
The lawyer unleashes a stream of obscenities before the officer can calm him down.
"Hear me out...see, you are so worried about your car, you didn't even notice that the accident took off your left arm."
"Oh my god!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"
I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.
I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.
I've suspected for some time now that my Mrs has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them". I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my Mrs. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.
Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from Halfords and try to repair it myself?
Cheers
A massive hailstorm ravages a town...
...leaving plenty of damage in its wake. A blonde takes her hailstone-dented car to a body shop to have the dents removed.
The body shop owner is already swamped with work due to the storm, and decides to have some fun with her. He tells the blonde: "You know, you don't have to pay me to have these removed. All you have to do is go home and blow into the tailpipe - all of your dents will pop out."
The blonde drives home, parks in her driveway, and blows into the tailpipe. Over and over she tries and tries, huffing and puffing but to no avail. The girl's roommate, another blonde, arrives home to see the first blonde laying in the driveway completely winded and asks what's going on. The first blonde explains what the mechanic told her, before ending with "I've been at this for an hour, but it's not working."
Roommate looks at the car for a moment before turning to the first blonde and says, "no duh it's not working! Your windows are open!!"
EDIT - grammar
A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he opened the door a truck came roaring past and completely tore off the driver’s door of the Lexus.
The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone and dialed 911.
When a policeman arrived, the lawyer was still screaming hysterically.
His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter how the body shop tried to make it new again.
After the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting, the cop shook his head in disgust.
"I can’t believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Didn’t you notice that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
The lawyer looked down to his left side and let out a terrible scream: "Oh my God!… MY ROLEX!"