Body Shape Jokes
15 body shape jokes and hilarious body shape puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about body shape that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Body Shape Short Jokes
Short body shape jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The body shape humour may include short head shape jokes also.
- My wife said I am going to cycle 10 miles every day to get my body back in shape, I said good girl go for it, I have noticed a massive difference after just 4 weeks. She is 280 miles away.
- [body shape - help request] M, 18, struggling to get rid of a body fit for a 46 year old... Seriously guys, do I cut it up or just bury it whole?
- Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape... I roll them at least 489 times a day.
- Doc says to the patient, "You have the body of a twenty-year-old, but you should return it. You're stretching it completely out of shape."
- My wife is mad at me because I can't stop talking about the shape of people's bodies. Figures.
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Body Shape One Liners
Which body shape one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with body shape? I can suggest the ones about sizes shapes and square shape.
- Where can you go to lift weights and get in shape? To the body building!
- If the Rock runs for President like he runs his own body... America will be in good shape
Body Shape Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about body shape you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shape jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make body shape pranks.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi...
...decide to have a friendly competition to see who is the best at their job. To make things interesting, they agree to see who is best at converting the bears in the local woods. A week passes, and they get together to compare notes.
The priest says, "I was walking through the woods and came upon a patch of berries where there was a bear, gathering berries. I walked up to the bear and I gave him the Holy Communion, and thus converted the bear".
The minister goes, "I too was walking through the woods, and came across a stream. There was a bear in the stream, catching fish. So I waded out to him, and baptized the bear right there, and so converting him."
The priest and minster look over to the rabbi, and this guy is in rough shape. He is in total traction, with a full body cast, cuts and scrapes on his face and hands.
"Oy," the rabbi says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have led with the circumcision."
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change.
I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
An artist, an engineer, and a civil planner are arguing about God's occupation by observing the human body.
The artist says, "God is an artist. You only need to see the beautiful shapes of our muscles, the rich colors of our skin, the textures of our hair to see that."
The engineer says, "God is a engineer. You only need to see the wonders of the human body and its ability to grow and rebuild itself, the perfect mechanisms of its joints, its balance and speed and grace to see that."
The civil planner gives them the finger and says, "God is an accountant! That sumbitch cut the cost of materials in half by running a waste disposal plant through a pristine recreational area!"
Buying a Horse
A man is looking to buy a new horse and decides to take his 8 year old son with him to a horse show for fun. As they're walking around examining the horses, the boy sees his father running his hands all over the horses' body and slapping their rumps. Not understanding why he is doing this, the little boy asks "Daddy, why are you doing that stuff to the horses?" and the man replies, "Well son, I've go to make sure the horse is in good shape if I want to buy it." The little boy nods, but still looks confused.
They continue on and as the man is examining another horse, he sees his son's still-confused face and asks, "What's the matter son? Are you still confused? I told you I have to rub and slap the horse like this if I want to buy it." The son replies, "I know, daddy. I just don't understand why the mailman wants to buy mommy."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub.
Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub.
Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have s**... with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"