Bob Uncle Jokes
9 bob uncle jokes and hilarious bob uncle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bob uncle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Bob Uncle Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good bob uncle joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The Smith family is having a reunion.
The matriarch is a 110 year old woman who is confined to a wheelchair and cannot speak, so she uses a pen and notepad to communicate.
While watching her great grandchildren play, she begins to leeeaaan to the left. So cousin Joe lifts her back up and puts a pillow on her left side. Later she begins to leeeaaan to the right, so cousin John lifts her back up and puts a pillow on her right side.
Later, Uncle Bob approaches and asks if she's enjoying the family reunion. She takes out her notepad and slowly writes, "They won't let me f**..."
We were at a family dinner last night, and at one point my Uncle Bob stood up and declared, I'm gay and I don't care who knows it!
He must have been really drunk, because he's been married to my Uncle Tony for six years now.
•••
Happy National Coming Out Day!
When I was 5, my Uncle Bob asked me to sit on his lap.
It was quite touching, really.
Beware of DNA tests!
In England, young Robert Keystone Townsend II, was given a DNA test from a friend for his birthday, which revealed a terrible family secret: His father was not his actual father, but still related somehow. When confronted with the question of why this horrible truth was hidden from him for so long, his parents replied that they told him hundreds of times that "Bob's your Uncle!"
My dad has a brother named Robert
I guess Bob's my uncle.
All you gotta do is go to the nearest pub and find any man called 'Bob', then convince him to marry your mother's sister...
...and Bob's your uncle.
I have 5 uncles. Scott, Daniel, Bob, Tate,
And the one that works at Nintendo.
Little Suzy sees her mother in bed with the mailman
Innocent but curious, she tells her father the very next day.
"Ok, Suzy" replies her father, "Our relatives are coming over for dinner later. I think you ought to tell them what you saw too."
At dinnertime, Suzy is waiting for everyone to sit down. As soon as Uncle Billy Bob takes his seat, she beats her glass like a triangle to call attention.
"I saw mommy and the mailman the other day..." she starts
Her father butts in, looks at his wife, and yells "Unfaithful! Come on, dear, finish the story."
"...doing what daddy and Aunt Christie do whenever mommy's not home." she continues
Two guys named Bob are walking by a nuclear reactor.
Bob starts talking about how his great uncle twice removed worked at a nuclear plant and grew an extra arm.
Other Bob says, "well that would be awesome, I could use an extra arm."
Bob says, "oh, I think it could only happen to me, it's in my genetics."
Other Bob gets mad. "b**..., I could grow an extra arm before you could!"
So they both hop the fence and start running around the reactor. The security guard chases them, but he's 83 years old. Bob dives in the cooling tank, while other Bob licks the giant tower. Other Bob swallows a spent fuel pellet, while Bob rolls around in some yellow powder. Suddenly, and simultaneously, third arms sprout out of both of their chests. They look at each other. "God d**..., a tie?"
At this point the old security guard hobbles up. "When will your generation learn," he wheezes. "There are never any winners in a nuclear arms race."
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