Bob Hope Jokes

10 bob hope jokes and hilarious bob hope puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about bob hope that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Ridiculous Bob Hope Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

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A man got a text from his neighbor: "I'm so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.

I've been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again."
The man anguished and betrayed, went into his room, grabbed his gun and without a word, shot his wife.
A couple of seconds later, another text arrived.
f**... auto correct, I meant "wifi", not "wife"'

One day Bob gets a text from his neighbor...

The text reads: "Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt about something and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you aren't home. Probably more than you, honestly. I know its no excuse, but I don't get it at home. But now, I can't live with this guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.
Moments later Bob gets a second text from his neighbor: "Sorry, really should use spell check! That should be 'wifi'."
Edit for clarity.

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs.

Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.
God please don't kill Kevin Bacon.

Bob is about to celebrate his 30th anniversary

Bob wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and his wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night he emailed her, but misspelled the address, and it goes to a recent widow.
The next day, the widow's son finds Her passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this email:
My darling wife, I've just gotten here and everything is set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope the trip down great will be as pleasant as mine.
P.S. It's really hot!

There was a time when people where entertained by men like Jonny Cash and Bob Hope

Nowadays, we have no Cash and no Hope.

Bob's anniversary

Bob was out fishing when he realized that it was his wedding anniversary. Hoping to save face, he headed to shore. He left the marina and started driving to the nearest Hallmark store to buy his wife a card and a gift. His truck's engine started sputtering and died on the road.
Bob was fairly mechanical, so he figured he could fix the problem. He couldn't. Just to top it off, his cell phone was dead. and he couldn't call for help.
He slowly began to realize that he was stuck between a dock and a card place.

In 1987 we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope...

Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

Hope, Cash, and Jobs

Steve Jobs is dead. Bob Hope is dead. Johnny Cash is dead. No jobs, no cash, no hope.

Why do we call the .pdf files P D F?

I was thinking the other day about *.pdf files. We always call them P D F, like the letters. We have *.jpegs, I have heard people say *.png and *.dll as ping and dull files, but not *.pdf.
Well, if we did, you could hear someone say, "Hey Bob, I sent you the Piddif-files. Hope you like them!"

A guy texts his neighbor...

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:
"Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.
Moments later the guy gets a second text: "Really should use spell check! That should be "wifi"."