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Boasts Jokes

22 boasts jokes and hilarious boasts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boasts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Boasts Short Jokes

Short boasts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boasts humour may include short boasted jokes also.

  1. My dad bought himself a new hearing aid. "It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
    "Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
    "Two-thirty."
  2. A flat earth conspiracist was boasting about how many people believe that the Earth is flat... He said, We have supporters all around the globe!!!
  3. I met some chess players in the hotel lobby bragging about how good they were It was chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  4. What do you call two chess enthusiasts bragging in a lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  5. What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
  6. My grandfather once boasted he could hit a man between the buttocks from 200 yards with iron sights That's quite the crack shot
  7. I don't usually boast about my finances But my credit card company calls me everyday to tell me my balance is outstanding
  8. I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are. It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
  9. Oscar Wilde once boasted that he could make a pun on any subject... Someone called out "The Queen!"
    "Ah", replied Wilde, "but the Queen is not a subject."
  10. What do you call a chess club bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby? Chessnuts boasting in an open foyer

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Boasts One Liners

Which boasts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boasts? I can suggest the ones about brags and exclaims.

  1. What do you call a man who boasts of three erections per day? A tri-hard.
  2. I'm not trying to boast here... But I went 0 to 60 in about 47 years.
  3. Test boast, please ignore. Mitochondria are better than yourtochondria. 
  4. What do you call a cereal that boasts? Cereal Boast Crunch
  5. What do you call a ghost who boasts? Boo-c**....

Boasts joke, What do you call a ghost who boasts?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about boasts can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of boasts puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Boasts Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about boasts you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean proclaims jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make boasts prank.

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

Three boys were talking after school...

Three boys were talking after school while waiting for their fathers to pick them up. The first one boasts: "My dad is a Formula One driver. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:15."
The second boy says: "That's nothing. My dad is a jet pilot. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 5:05!"
The last boy looks at his companions and says: "Pfff.... amateurs! My dad works for the government. He finishes work at 5:00 and picks me up at 4:45!"

A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After hnoeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
‟It is simple billionaire boasts....
‟I faked my age
‟Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you're? A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
‟85 years old

An Englishman and Welshman were in a pub discusing their s**... prowess.

The Englishman boasts he's gotten laid with 27 different partners this year.
"What about *you*?" he asks the Welshman, who promptly falls asleep.

A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... are drinking together.

The Jew boasts about his fertility
"I have 4 sons; one more and I'll have a basketball team!"
"That's nothing," says the Catholic, "I have 10 sons! I almost have a football team!"
The Jew and Catholic looked expectantly at the m**.... "Well?"
"I have 17 wives. I almost have a golf course!"

A man walks into a bar and spies two lovely women sitting by the entrance...

As he walks towards the bar, he sees one tap the other shoulder and point at him. She looks him up and down and says "9", followed by giggling. The man goes over to his buddy and boasts that the two lovely ladies by the entrance had said he was a 9.
"Yeah, sorry man, but when I walked in they were speaking German."

A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... all walk into a bar...

The Jewish man boasts, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team." The Catholic man says, "That's nothing! I have ten sons. One more and I'll have a soccer team!" The m**... stands up and proclaims, "Big deal! I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course!"

An American boasts to a Soviet about the freedom of speech he has.

He says, "I can literally walk up to the oval office and say, 'President Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country' and I won't get into any problem at all!"
The Soviet replies, "I can do the exact same, too. I too can literally walk up to the Red Square and say, 'Comrade Brezhnev, I don't like the way President Reagan is running this country' and not get into any problem!"

Bill Gates is hanging out with GM's Chairman...

Gates is in a taunting mood. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas.
In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But, Bill, would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…

Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"
Autumn ~ *-leaves-*

A soldier, airman, marine, and a sailor walk into a bar...

The soldier boasts, "Our camouflage is so good, we put 50 men in the desert and only 20 were found."
The airman retorts, "That's nothing. Our camouflage is so effective, we put 50 jets in the sky, and only 15 were found!"
The marine says, with a big grin, "Amateurs, our camouflage is so superior, we put 50 devil dogs in the jungle, and only 10 were found!"
Finally, a clearly distraught sailor on his 6th shot of whiskey says, "Our camouflage was so terrible, we pushed 50 sailors into the ocean, and only 5 were found."

A student places dead last in an important physics test.

He doesn't feel too phased and boasts to his classmates that he can still pass. His teacher later pulls him aside and tells him that he doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

An American and a Chinese were arguing about which government was better

The American boasts, "clearly the American government is better. You can go to the white house with a megaphone and yell 'Trump s**...!' and you wouldn't even be arrested."
The Chinese replied, "what of it? You can go to Tiananmen square and yell 'Trump s**...!' and you still wouldn't be arrested."

The Three Professors

Three professors are arguing over who is the best at teaching.
The first professor boasts, "I teach so well, my students never ask any questions. This proves they understand me immediately!"
The second professor responds, "Nonsense! I teach so well, my students never ask questions OR take notes. It's clear they remember the lesson instantly!"
The third professor grins and says, "You're both amateurs. I teach so well, my students don't even have to show up to class!"

My energy supplier proudly boasts that they use 100% renewables. They sent my renewal quote.

Can anybody tell me what day it was, when wind doubled in price?

Three women are drinking at a bar.

As the night goes on, they begin talking about how loose their vaginas are.
The first woman boasts that her lover can fit his entire fist in.
The second woman says "That's nothing, my husband was able to fit both of his fists in!"
The third woman laughs, finishes her drink, and slides down the barstool.

Boasts joke, Three women are drinking at a bar.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these boasts jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.