Boarding School Jokes
22 boarding school jokes and hilarious boarding school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about boarding school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Boarding School Short Jokes
Short boarding school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The boarding school humour may include short kid school jokes also.
- Monica Lewinsky was recently offered a new position at a prestigious boarding school. Headmaster.
- My Father said: 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you.' So I sent him to a girls boarding school in France.
- The school board is discontinuing the teaching of cursive writing and Roman numerals. I'M €%¥&@# LIVID! (but not anymore).
- Did you hear about the piece of scrap wood? He went to BOARDing school and applyed (applied) to college.
- At school he used to enjoy streaking. On it's own, not a particularly interesting fact, until you consider he was at an ALL BOYS boarding school.
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Boarding School One Liners
Which boarding school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with boarding school? I can suggest the ones about public school and school college.
- My kid says he's not interested in school - so he tried joining the Board of Education.
- Where do pirates get their education? Boarding school
- Jesus dropped out of medical school. I hear he got nailed on the boards.
- What do you call a school bus with a priest on board? A crime scene
- How does a grade school bully contact the dead? With a w**... board.
Boarding School Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about boarding school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school open jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make boarding school pranks.
Important Punctuation
So little Timmy is at school and for show and tell, he drew a dot on the board.
The teacher asks him, what's that?
Timmy then replies, it's a period!
Teacher, what's so special about it that you brought it in for show and tell?
Timmy, I don't know, but this morning, my sister said she missed hers. Mommy fainted, Daddy got a heart attack, and the man next door shot himself in the head.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My turn to translate a joke (from french)
So the school inspector enters a spanish course, and takes a sit in the back of the room, next to little Johnny.
The class begins, and the spanish teacher asks :
Who can translate this sentence? and writes the sentence on the board : Mi perro es moreno
Only little Johnny is raising his hand
- Little Johnny? she asks
- What a nice a**... she's got !
- Oh god ! That does it ! Get out, you rude child !
Little Johnny looks huffy, but gathers his stuff and starts to walk out.
Before leaving, he says to the inspector:
- Next time, if you don't know then don't suggest the answer
After summer vacation classic
All the children inn school were asked to write on the chalkboard something significant that happened over the summer.
Anne gets up and writes the word puppies on the board, and says our dog had puppies this summer. Very nice says the teacher. George gets up and writes promotion on the board, acc says my dad got a promotion. Excellent! Very significant goes the teacher. Little Johnny gets up and puts a dot on the board. The treachery looks at out and says Johnny what's that dot why is it significant? He good it's not a dot, it's a period, I'm not sure why it's significant but my sister missed hers and my dad shot our neighbor and went to jail!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**...
A s**... meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The s**... notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the s**... asks "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies "I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off".
"Wow!" said the s**.... "What about the hook"?
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand clean off."
"Incredible!" remarked the s**.... "How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye", replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked.
"Well..." said the pirate, "That was my first day with the hook."
Little Johnny was having trouble with school...
Little Johnny was having trouble with school and his parents just didn't know what to do. They tried giving him private tutors, remedial classes, and even sent him to a summer boarding school.
Nothing seemed to work and as a final act of desperation, they sent him to their local Catholic School.
After coming home from the first day, Johnny went straight up to his room and began studying. Only coming back down to eat dinner, Johnny stayed in his room and studied till bedtime.
A few weeks later, his parents were overwhelmed to see that Johnny had improved his grades, especially his math grade which had been the worst of the lot.
They praised their son but were also quite interested in what had caused the improvement.
"Was it the nuns? The curriculum?" they asked.
Johnny shook his head and replied, "At first I didn't take them seriously, but when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!"
Topical Jokes for 6/20
(For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night personality)
In Maryland, two teenagers have won a marbles championship. The winning teens quickly said thank you, then boarded their time machine, to return to the year 1937.
In Illinois, a university is offering a scholarship for students who play video games. The school was then forced to suspend the program when a student found out you could get unlimited scholarships, by pressing up up, down down, left right, left right, and B, A.
The Governor of Florida signed a law today making it legal to fire a warning shot at an attacker. The legalization of warning shots is important in Florida, because that's how people greet each other.
Starbucks is increasing the price of it drinks and bagged coffee. To protest the price hikes, customers vowed to boycott Starbucks, and go across the street — to a *different* Starbucks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pirate at the local bar discusses his past.
A s**... meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The s**... notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The s**... asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the s**.... "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the s**.... "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"