JokoJokes

Board Jokes

166 board jokes and hilarious board puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about board that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This lighthearted article reveals hilarious jokes about all kinds of boards: from the mundane ironing board and cutting board to the more unique letter board and paddle board. Whether you're a fan of the classic board game or the dreaded Homeowners Association (HOA) board, these jokes are sure to bring a chuckle or two. Chalk up some humor and strut your way to laughter!

Quick Jump To

Popular Board Short Jokes

Short board jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The board humour may include short deck jokes also.

  1. There are 3 men on a boat and 4 cigarettes, they don't have a lighter, how do they smoke? they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter.
  2. a guy got an interview for a job with EA Boss: the second part of your resume is missing
    Applicant: for the second part you have to pay 20$
    Boss: welcome on board
  3. Of all the inventions of the last 100 years... the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
  4. There should be a millennial edition of monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
  5. Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take
  6. I almost got caught trying to steal a board game yesterday it was a risk I was willing to take
  7. Board Game Shop Me: I want a dice.
    Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.
    Me: I want 2 die.
    Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.
    Me: I want 2 die alone.
  8. Me: *Playing Ouija board* Me: What's your name?
    Ouija Board: I H A V E A B O Y F R I E N D
  9. Well, OJ has been paroled. The spokesperson for the parole board that granted him his new freedom said they "decided to give him another stab at it."
  10. "Sir, you'll need to leave, you can't pee in the pool." "But everyone pees in the pool!"
    "Yes, but not from the diving board."

Share These Board Jokes With Friends




Board One Liners

Which board one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with board? I can suggest the ones about panel and boxes.

  1. How do you talk with a COVID denier with an Ouija board
  2. What do you call a committee of emo kids? A cutting board
  3. I love dry erase boards. They're remarkable.
  4. I just got a new dry erase board it's remarkable!
  5. I like Ouija boards It's the only game I can still play with grandma.
  6. How do you talk to a dead Italian? with a luigi board
  7. If there's one thing that makes me throw up It's a dart board on a ceiling
  8. What do you guys think of message boards? ....I'm all forum.
  9. How does mario talk to the dead? With a luigi board.
  10. What is Canada's national board game? Sorry
  11. I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board... I thought, I'll give it a Go.
  12. What did Mr. T say after throwing five $10 bills off the diving board? I fitty da pool!
  13. How do you find changelings on board Deep Space Nine? With an Odometer.
  14. What does Mario use to talk to dead people? A Luigi Board
  15. I know a friend who keeps stealing board games... He's such a risk taker

Board Game Jokes

Here is a list of funny board game jokes and even better board game puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said... Sorry. We don't want any Trouble.
  • What's a Canadian's favorite board game? Sorry!
  • I nearly got caught stealing a board game the other day It was a risk I was willing to take.
  • I wasn't allowed to bring my board game onto the airplane They told me the risk was too big.
  • I have now stolen 56 copies of the board game "Risk" from local retailers. When they eventually catch me, I'll say "Life is all about taking Risks."
  • What's the most popular board game in Canada Sorry.
  • My wife told me that if i buy another board game she will dump me Maybe i shouldn't take that risk
  • I found out my wife has been playing board games with another man. Turns out she's monopolyamorous.
  • A man and his wife play a board game, the man beats her. Because she won.
  • I'm a kleptomaniac with a proclivity for stealing strategy board games. I like to take risks.

Diving Board Jokes

Here is a list of funny diving board jokes and even better diving board puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got kicked out of a pool for peeing in it The lifeguard started yelling, telling me to stop.
    "But all the little kids do it too!" I yelled back.
    "But not while standing on the diving board!"
  • Some lifeguard kicked me out of the pool for peeing in it. I told him everyone does it. He told me not off the diving board
  • Why am I being banned from the pool?! Because you're peeing in it.
    But everyone pees in the pool!
    Yes, but not from the diving board.
  • Pee in the pool and nobody bats an eye Do it from the diving board and everyone loses their minds
  • At the swimming pool A lifeguard reprimand a kid:
    - Boy! Stop peeing in the pool!
    - But everyone does!
    - I know, but not from the diving board!
  • What does Mr. T say after tossing two 20's and a 10 off the diving board? I fitty da pool. Peckahs
  • Jacob was at his neighbourhood community swimming pool. Lifeguard: Jacob! Stop Peeing in the pool!
    Jacob: But everyone does it!?
    Lifeguard: Yes, but not when on the DIVING BOARD.
  • Olympics synchronized-diving hopeful from a country so poor he had to practice in a pool with one diving board . . . And a mirror.
  • Me and the wife are getting swimming costumes I'm going as a diving board
  • How did the hipster break his neck? He jump off the diving board before it was pool.
Board joke, How did the hipster break his neck?

Notice Board Jokes

Here is a list of funny notice board jokes and even better notice board puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was playing a board game with my friends when I noticed some important pieces of the game were missing. I asked my friend, " Are you the game owner?"
    He said, "I moan but I'm straight"
  • My friend with very dry lips caused his flight to make an emergency landing. Crew members took action when they noticed he had boarded the plane with a balm.

Board Meetings Jokes

Here is a list of funny board meetings jokes and even better board meetings puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
    BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
    CEO: Yeah but we make hammers
  • In desperation I've been trying to meet girls through my Ouija Board But they keep ghosting me
  • I had a conversation about wood with a few people It was a board meeting.
  • A luddite kickstarter company was sued for racial discrimination -- even before their first planning meeting. They promised investors to only ever use a white board.
  • We recently had a board meeting to talk about the foundation of our company... Turns out we need more Two by Fours.
  • I think my boss forgot my name I arrived at the board meeting and was almost late. My boss announced me as I came in calling me Justin Time.
  • How do you set up a board meeting with five black people? Pull up three chairs
  • If a group of fish have a board meeting Is it a-fish-shoal?
Board joke, If a group of fish have a board meeting

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about board can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of board puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Board Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about board you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean desk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make board prank.

A 2nd grade class just gets in from recess...

The teacher tells the class they're going to do a spelling assignment that relates to what they did for recess. "If you can come up to the board and write the word I give you, you'll get a gold star for the day," the teacher explains. "Tommy, what'd you do for recess?" she asks the first student. "Well," Tommy begins, "I played in the sand box with Suzy!" "Okay great. If you can come to the board and spell the word 'sand' I'll give you a gold star." So Tommy goes up to the board, spells 'sand' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks Suzy, "Suzy, what'd you do for recess today?" So Suzy answers, "like Tommy said, we played in the sand box together." "Okay," the teacher thinks, "if you can come up to the board and spell 'box' I'll give you a gold star. So Suzy spells 'box' and gets a gold star for the day. Then the teacher asks the third student, "Tyrone, what'd you do for recess today?" "Well I wanted to play in the sand box with Tommy and Suzy but they wouldn't let me," Tyrone answers. "Oh no!" says the teacher, "That's terrible! Do you know what that's called? That's called 'racial discrimination.' If you can come up to the board and spell 'racial discrimination' I'll give you a gold star."

Investment Opportunity: You might want to consider getting on board early...

A British Engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing very well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

Lawyers and Engineers

Three lawyers and three engineers are at a train station on their way to a conference. The lawyers line up and buy three tickets, but the engineers only buy one ticket between the three of them. The lawyers are confused, and ask how the engineers plan on taking the train with only one ticket. The engineers just tell them to wait and see.
So they all board the train. The lawyers each take a seat, but the engineers all crowd in to a bathroom. The train starts moving and the conductor comes around punching tickets. He punches each of the lawyers' tickets, and then knocks on the bathroom door and says "Ticket please!" The engineers crack open the door and slide out the one ticket, which the conductor punches and then slides back through the door.
The lawyers think this is pretty clever, so on the return trip, they buy one ticket for the three of them, but then the engineers don't buy any tickets at all. The lawyers ask how the engineers plan on taking the train without any tickets, and the engineers just tell them to wait and see.
So once again they board the train. The three lawyers crowd into one bathroom, and the three engineers crowd into another bathroom. Once the train starts moving, one of the engineers exits the bathroom, knocks on the door of the lawyers' bathroom, and says "Ticket please!"

The Montana Department of Employment

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.

An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast ...

An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast and noticed all the community centre events for either Catholics or Protestants. After checking out yet another board, he asked a staff member:
Atheist: "What do you do in this town if you're an Atheist?"
Staff member: "Well sir, that depends on whether you're a Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist."

What did people say when the inventor of the Dry Erase Board showed off his new invention.

That's Remarkable!
Terrible joke, came to me on the toilet early, but I had to say it. And it's also likely be told in some form before.

A man is walking past the mental hospital

through the board fence he hears the nuts inside chanting, thirteen...thirteen...thirteen. Curious, peeks through a knot hole and someone pokes him in the eye! As he jumps back in pain he hears the nuts start chanting, fourteen...fourteen...fourteen.

Dear Board of Education,

So are we.
Sincerely,
Students

Three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?

They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

Larry at the police station

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "

The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand

The taxation office suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an auditor to investigate him.
Auditor: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."
Boat Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bundaberg r**... and a dozen Crown Lagers every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also gets to sleep with my wife occasionally."
Auditor: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one."
Boat Owner: "That'll be me. What'd you want to know?"

The owners of a micro-brewery are sitting around a table having their monthly board meeting.

The accountant stands up and says "So, let's see, this month, we lost ... hmm... hmm... Hey! Does anybody have a black pen?"
The CEO says "I can go buy one."
The accountant replies "Yeah, but then we won't need it anymore."

Why did the chicken get an ouija board?

To contact those who had crossed over to the other side.

Bill Gates: "Why don't you tell me why Bing failed"

Bill gates: So why don't you tell me why Bing failed.
Board: We feel there was a public nescience towards Bing.
Bill gates: Nescience? Let me Goog- Oh I see what you mean.

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows the letters on the board:
CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.

Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?

#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*

I caught my wife cheating with my best friend.

She was upset that I was always beating her, and he was jealous of how much money and property I had.
I was so angry when I caught them that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

A cruise ship passed a tiny, isolated island.

Everyone on board could see a bearded man on the island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?"
"I have no idea," said the Captain, "but every year when we pass by here, he goes nuts."

The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...

All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.
The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"
Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period, and my sister just missed hers, and it's causing a lot of excitement at our house!"

It's show and tell day...

In kindergarten class, and its Johnny's turn. He goes up to the board and puts a dot.
"What's that, Johnny?" The teacher asks.
"It's a period," replies Johnny.
"What's so special about a period Johnny?" she asks.
"I have no idea, but my sister missed one, so my dad starting yelling, mom started crying, and the guy next door shot himself."

caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend.

I caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend, whom I had known since preschool. I can't believe they'd do this to me.
Listen, I'm not a bad guy. I'll grant you that my wife was upset that I was always beating her, and my best friend? He was simply jealous of how much money and property I had.
At my wit's end, I was so angry that when I caught them, I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

A woman has a heart attack in a plane.

The stewardess asks "Is there a doctor on board?".
A person comes forward and announces "I'm a vegan."

A flight from Dublin to Boston

Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".

What does a Muslim train conductor say before he starts his train?

ALLAH BOARD!

Have you heard about the invention of the white board

It's remarkable.

Can I talk to my son?

A father was nervously waiting for the risky surgery of his son to end. When he saw the doctor come out of the operating room he asked him: Doctor, could I talk to my son? So the doctor reassuringly responds: Of course. Nurse! Bring this man a ouija board!

I was throwing darts at wife's photo on dart board

and not even a single one hitting the target.
Wife entered, saw and asked, Honey! What are you doing?
Husband: Missing you.
And that's when the fight started…

I've been watching you urinate in the pool..

Lifeguard: I've been watching you, Mr. Jones, and you'll have to stop urinating in the pool.
Mr. Jones: But everybody urinates in the pool.
Lifeguard: From the diving board?

A child was recently forced to write on the chalk board until he died

He was sentenced to death

A plane was about to c**..., and a woman stood up, took off her top, and exclaimed "Before this plane goes down, is there a man on board who will make me feel like a woman before I die!?"

A man stood up, took off his shirt and threw it at her, and said
"Here, iron this!"

David calls up his brother Mike to schedule their annual family trip.

He tells him they're leaving Saturday to go to Detroit. Mike asks, "wait a minute, why Detroit?"
David answers, "Well, you know that thing old ladies do, where they set up a map on a dart board, and wherever it lands is where they go?"
Mike couldn't resist a chuckle, and says back to him "Yeah, i know that one."
"Well, I missed and hit the trash can."

Son: "I got expelled"

Dad: "How?"
Son: "I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."
Dad: "That's pretty dumb but-"
Son: "Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."
Dad: "Ok?"
Son: "And rub 1 out."

A flight attendant sees a suspicious couple on board...

She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."

I didn't know which board game to buy, so I chose at random...

It was worth taking the risk.

It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack.

If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.

His cousin

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.

i**... is like a board game

It's fun for the whole family!

I tried asking a Ouija Board for the name of my future wife.

The planchette kept moving from H to A and back. What kind of name is Hahaha?

The pilot and co-pilot are sitting in the cockpit of an airplane.

As they wait for the passengers to board, the pilot says to the co-pilot,
Why did you become a pilot?
To which the co-pilot replies, To overcome my greatest fear.
Flying? the pilot asks
No. says the co-pilot, Dying alone.

What do you call a council of Emo's?

A cutting board.

A Plane Full Of Ugly People Crashes

A plane full of ugly people crashes and everyone on board dies. The peoples' souls then go to heaven, where they are greeted by God at the gate. God tells them that he will grant each person one wish. The first person says, I want to be beautiful . God snapped his fingers and it happened. Then the second person wished for the same thing. This continues as each person in line wishes to be beautiful. God notices the last man in line laughing hysterically. When it came to be the man's turn he laughed and said, I wish all those people were ugly again.

What does Mario use to contact his dead brother?

A Luigi Board.

*finds old Ouija board*

"I don't know guys, that stuff is dark--"
"What's the worst that could happen?"
"Spirits of the dead give us your message!"
W-E-H-A
"Guys--"
"Shut up"
W-E-H-A-V-E-U
"Guys--"
"Keep going"
W-E-H-A-V-E-U-P-D-A-T-E-D-O-U-R-P-R-I-V-A-C-Y-P-O-L-I-C-Y

What do you call a clean white board?

Remarkable!

*Using Ouija board* Hello is anyone there?

*Y*
*O*
*U*
*U*
*U*
*U*
*U*
d**... this is a Soulja board

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.

What award does NASA give the astronauts that board their spacecraft particularly quickly?

The starship -enter-prize.

I hate seeing directors make the same movie. It gets boring, I guess I'm...

Board of directors

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.
Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.
Two in one direction, then one to the side.
Hm, funny how the knight moves.

Why won't black people board cruise ships?

We're not falling for that b**... again.

Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking

An American flight attendant sees a suspicious looking couple on board and reports it to the captain.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human traficking! There is an extremely s**... female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened, almost like she has no idea what is going to happen next. The man she is with is a fat old slob and old enough to be her father. He's very s**..., very sullen and although he speaks English, it is impossible to make out what he's trying to say."
The captain sighed and replied, "look Susan, we've been through this many times before, this is Air Force One..."

A man is planning on taking a vacation but is afraid of flying

He is afraid of someone b**... the plane, so he asks a statistician what the odds are of a bomb being on a plane. He says the odds are one in a million and he shouldn't worry about it.
He asks what the odds of 2 bombs being on the same plane are, and the statistician says the odds are so low it will probably never happen to anyone in the mans lifetime.
A month later they run into each other and the statistician asks if the man ever took his vacation. He says yes. The statistician asks how he got over his fear of flying and the mans says, it was easy. Every time I board a plane, I bring a bomb with me.

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?

Board joke, A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

jokes about board

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these board jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.