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Blushes Jokes

33 blushes jokes and hilarious blushes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about blushes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Blushes Short Jokes

Short blushes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The blushes humour may include short blushing jokes also.

  1. I just realized that never is a contraction of 'not ever'. And blush is a contraction of 'blood rush'.
    And studying is a contraction of 'student dying'.
  2. Why did the woman blush when she opened her refrigerator? Because she saw the salad dressing.
    I had never heard this until today. Made me chuckle a bit.
  3. "I couldn't love anyone like you," I told my wife. "Aw, thanks," she blushed.
    I'm glad she didn't understand me.
  4. Today is the day when the moon looks upon earth. That's why it's blushing.
  5. The silver-tongued lover can always make a woman blush... ... because they're a practiced, cunning linguist.
  6. Why was Chicago blushing at the party? It's ShyTown
  7. The checkout girl blushed when she scanned my condoms. If only she knew what the cucumber was for.
  8. Why did the waves blush? Because the seaweed.
  9. I met this beautiful girl that just made me blush uncontrollably today. She pulled down my pants in the cafeteria and everyone laughed at my animal patterned underwear.
  10. From my 7 year old daughter, this morning: Dad, why was the Starbucks lady blushing? A: Because the coffee was *soooo* hot!

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Blushes One Liners

Which blushes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with blushes? I can suggest the ones about make me blush and grins.

  1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
  2. Why did the cucumber blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  3. Why was the tomato blushing? He saw the salad dressing.
  4. Why did the weatherman blush? He saw the climate change
  5. Q: Why did the tomato blush?
    A: Because it saw the salad dressing.
  6. Why was the tomato blushing? Because he saw the salad dressing!
  7. Why did Dr.Pepper blush? He received a Sunkist from his Crush
  8. Why did the DNA chain blush? It was part of his genetic makeup.
  9. Why did the tomato blush? Because he saw the salad dressing!
    Have a good afternoon!
  10. Why did the window blush? Because it could see the weather changing.
  11. Why did the octopus blush? He saw the bottom of the ocean
  12. Q: Why did the fish blush?
    A: Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
  13. Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing
  14. Why did the squirrel blush after he was hit by a car? He was flattered.
  15. Why did the tomato blush? Because it seen the Salad dressing ( I'll see myself out)

Blushes joke, Why did the tomato blush?

Hilarious Blushes Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about blushes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheek jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make blushes pranks.

A Frenchman sees a poster in front of a bakery: Croissant €1. h**... €5

He enters the shop and sees a gorgeous young lady behind the counter. He then asks:
"Mademoiselle, are you the one that delivers the h**...?"
Very shy, the girl looks down, blushes and replies with a giggle:
"O-Oui monsieur, I am the one that gives the h**...".
The Frenchman immediately puts €5 on the counter and says:
"In this case wash your hands well, because I want 5 croissants"

Blonde walks into a...

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

A cute little girl walks into a pet store and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"

Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question." The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye." "Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct." She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a BIG disappointment."

Boyfriend and Girlfriend

Boyfriend and Girlfriend are sitting in their apartment, the boy is playing Xbox One.
Boy: Why do you look so sad?
Girl: ...
Boy: Turns of his Xbox one.
Girl: Why did you stop playing?
Boy: Because there is something much better than my Xbox.....
Girl: *Blushes*
Boy: Turns on PS4.

There's a s**... new teacher at school

In grammar class, she asks who can say a sentence including an expression of politeness. Naughty Johnny raises his hand.
'I would be most delighted to make out with you Miss Campbell... and bang you, too!'
Miss Campbell blushes and yells:
'Out!'
Naughty Johnny gets his things and walks towards the door, when suddenly Miss Campbell says:
'Not you... the others!'

An Irishman and a m**... are seated next to each other on a plane...

The flight attendant asks if they'd like anything to drink. The Irishman says I'll have a double shot of Jameson, and one for my new friend here.
No no no, says the m**.... I would rather be sodomized by a dozen disease-infested w**... than to let alcohol touch my lips.
The flight attendant blushes and turns away before the Irishman interjects, forget the whiskey—I didn't realize that was an option.

That's disgusting...

The teacher asks, "Flora, what part of the human body increases ten times when excited?"
Flora blushes and says, "That's disgusting, I won't even answer that question."
The teacher calls on Johnny: "What part of the human body increases ten times when excited?" "That's easy," says Johnny. "It's the pupil of the eye."
"Very good, Johnny," responds the teacher. "That's correct."
She then turns to Flora and says, "First, you didn't do your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, you're in for a Big disappointment."

A man sees a beautiful woman...

...and he asks her: would you be willing to sleep with me if I pay you 1,000,000 dollars?
She blushes, and replies: I guess so.
He then says: What about for 20 dollars?
The woman is greatly offended and replies indignantly: What kind of woman do you think I am??
He: We've already established that. Now we're just negotiating the price.

So there are a boy playing his X-Box whilst his girlfriend watches.

So the boy says: "Why do you look so sad?"
The girl is silent. He turns off the X-Box.
His girlfriend asks: "Why did you turn it off?"
"Because I have something far better to play with!"
She blushes...
He turns on his PS4

A drunk guy goes to a party...

A drunk goes to a party, he w**... standing for a long time before he spots a cute girl siting on a chair. He goes over to her and says: "do you want to dance?"
She blushes and says yes
He says:"good, I'm gonna sit on your chair"

Thought I'd try translating a joke. Two foreigners are sailing to America for work.

Upon getting off the boat at the dock, one notices a hotdog stand. Sure, it sounds weird to them but they decide to try it.
As one unwraps the foil, he blushes and asks, Which part of the dog did you get?

A man is trying to avoid being conscripted.

He runs from his house as soldiers come for him. As he heads down the street, he sees a nun. He runs up to her and says "please sister, let me hide under your dress, I don't want to die in the war".
The nun takes pity on him and lets him hide under her dress. The soldiers pass them by. As he emerges, the man blushes and says to the nun "pardon my saying sister, but you have a lovely pair of legs."
The nun smiles and replies "if you looked a little higher, you would've seen a lovely pair of b**.... I don't want to die in the war either."

A blonde goes to the dry cleaners

She hands him her dress which has a huge stain in the front. She pays him and says "I need this dress for a party. So can you please get it cleaned by Thursday?" Now the dry cleaner was very old and couldn't hear properly so he asks her "Come again?"
The blonde blushes furiously and says "No, it is mayonnaise this time"

A man walks into a Pharmacy and asks for cyanide

Pharmacist : What do you need it for?
Man : I need to kill my wife.
Pharmacist : Sorry sir, I can't give you cyanide.
Man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a photo of his ugly wife.
Pharmacist blushes and replies : I am sorry sir , I didn't realize you have prescription.

Two lovers get romantic on the night of their wedding.

The newly wed lady blushes and asks, "Honey, where will you take us for our honeymoon?"
"I will take you to the farthest islands of the Caribbean!"
"Really? And what would you do on our 25th anniversary?", asks the wife, now blushing even more.
"I will bring you back."

A comedian walks into a bar

A comedian walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. Being charismatic and clever with words, he goes up to her and starts talking. They hit it off and are getting along well. Eventually, he brings up that he is a comedian.
"Ah," she says, "then could you tell me a joke?"
"But telling jokes is my job," he replies. "So you asking me to tell you a joke would be like me soliciting you for whatever it is you do for a living."
The woman blushes a little bit. "Well, I'm actually a p**...."
The comedian is a bit taken aback, but after only a moment's hesitation he begins:
"So a man walks onto a bus and sees this beautiful nun..."

A m**... in South America

A m**... in South America teaches native indigenous tribesman to English language. They paddling on a boat on the Amazon River and the m**... teaches him: "This is a river. This is a forest. These are the trees. There are leaves on them. "
Down by the river they saw a couple making love. m**... blushes and tells to a guy in the boat: They are riding a bicycle.
Native takes bow and an arrow from boat and takes a shoot at guy who makes love to an woman.
m**... is horrified: What are you doing?!?
Native responds: He rides my bicycle.

Blushes joke, A m**... in South America